#365chicoproject

June 27th, 2016 // Day 179 of 366 Subject: Evin Wolverton Age: 32 Years Old Born: Los Angeles CA Currently Resides: Chico CA Occupation: Designer // Artist // Musician

“If I have something that’s within my power to give then yes. And what I’m learning to be is more discerning about what’s within my power to give as opposed to like,’How can I contort my skill set to be apart of this thing that I love.’, when really I’m a shitty cook. And I’m bad at crowd management. Like I shouldn’t be apart of either of those things. But if I can be involved in the storytelling, or getting the word out, or making sure the mood is right; now that I’ve given so much of my time and I’ve seen where it has been put to used and where it would have been better served by somebody else, I can be discerning about where the project will grow and I will grow.”

“There’s no way I’m gonna go through life without making it. Whether I make a concerted effort or not to announce myself to the world as a musician, it’s going to keep happening. If you looked at my voice memos folder on my phone it’s just all stupid musical ideas in various states of sobriety, it just happens. Or awake-ness; I’ll have stuff that I’m just like,’I was clearly half-asleep for that idea.’, but I knew I needed to come down. I’m not worried at all that I’m ever going to run out of ideas or the energy for the actual making of it. It’s just the organized display for the world that comes and goes sometimes.”

“As much as I do believe that design is a shadow occupation to being a musician, in that it borrows from the same set of ambitions and attempts to satisfy the same instincts but is only able to partially do so. There is another side to that shadow that is actually really beautiful in that I am being paid to, in a way, make art that is ultimately my discretion to offer, and to decide the size and shape and scope of. So as much as there’s a negative part to that, there’s also a real beauty to work where and when I please, on generally only the projects that I feel connected to, and turnaround work that I feel proud of that made people happy. That’s a great bottom line to work from.”

“I think the more art you make the easier it becomes to have your life resemble art; to have your daily routines have an art to them. And the way you interact with your community, and your family, and the world at large be artful. But I do think it takes practice and maybe, at first, intentional trying. But then again, I came from what feels like normal circumstances. There are people who are born that are so esoteric that their simple existence is art to the rest of us. I think it’s fun to at least aim for that for what I can become.”

“I think Chico has a close-to-perfect size of community that is large enough to stay fresh and have new opportunities popping up all the time. But it’s not so small that we’re stuck in patterns of grudges and fatal gossip. It represents the best ratio between quality of life and cost of living that I’ve ever seen which made it a no brainer for me to come here. It wasn’t it a no brainer, I knew before I made the decision; I asked a bunch of people,’Hey, I might get stuck there should I do this anyways?’. And all of them said yes. And so I did.”

“Be kind and work hard everybody.”

Ever talk and hang with someone and after you were so high on those moments that you felt like you were floating away? Well that’s kind of the feeling I had today when I was hanging with Evin. I felt like I was the one who was being 365′d in all honesty. He was earnest and honest in the way that spoke and that really made it easy for us to jump from topic to topic whilst traversing the openness and absurdity of life. More and more these days, the 365project has become less project-y and more of a way of life and Evin helped to solidify that idea today. He approaches his life in an artful way; the way he talks, treats others, does his work, makes music, and just lives. The fluidity to it all makes me want to be a more artful person. How bout you?

Did you art today?

June 19th, 2016 // Day 171 of 366

Subject: Angela Lombardi // Annie Eblin

Age: 35 Years Old // 27 years Old

Born: Torrance CA // Ventura CA

Currently Resides: Chico CA // Chico CA

Occupation: *Angela* Bar Owner at The Maltese Bar // Hustler // Entrepreneur *Annie* Bartender at the Maltese Bar // Hustler // Entrepreneur

/

Annie: “I think the venture of making money is the culmination of a bunch of stuff. And we’re constantly moving pieces of the puzzle around to make it work and in the end hopefully does. We intend on success”

Angela: “What Annie said is pretty much the best description of it; It’s just a giant puzzle that we’re constantly moving around. I think that the way it is that they’re not mutually exclusive. We want to be able to make money off of things that we love. But we also want to have kids and we want to make sure that we get to be a big part of our kids lives. So that’s kind of where everything leads to, is how do we make enough money to be comfortable doing something that we don’t absolutely loathe, while being able to spend time and be really active parents.”

Annie: “How do we craft this world to get ready for our family and our kids, while providing for the community and hopefully making a little money along the way.”

//

Annie: “We’re not seeking approval or anything like that, it’s just a plan”

Angela: “I think that Chico is, even though it’s the middle of Chico California, there’s people that are from LA, or San Francisco, or anywhere else that would be like,’Where is that? Chino? Is there a prison there?’. Almost. almost had it. But this is a pretty safe place. I don’t think we don’t really get hassled granted we don’t want to go twenty miles outside of here. But as far as being a queer couple, thinking about raising kids, I think that this is a relatively nice place to do it.”

///

Annie: “I think that’s been kind of the consensus with everyone. Especially with last night’s drag show, that was the theme of it. Everyone was like,’Fuck that. We’re coming to party. We’re happy. We’re proud of who we are. We’re doing this.’ Ya know?”

Angela: “I think that it’s interesting act like we’ve come so far even still, in wake of this tragedy, tell us how far we’ve come. But clearly it’s not far enough. And I mean, we live inside our bubbles. Like when I lived in DC, there was never one time I thought of being gay. I never felt different, ever, regardless of what part of the city (I was in). Even if I was in the most hood part of the city, I never felt out of place or that people were judging me because I’m gay, I put it out there; you know as soon as you see me that I’m a big ol’ lesbian. And there’s people that just think I’m a boy so it’s one or the other. But we realize it when we have a random layover in middle America, where people that would actually vote for Trump, are the same people that follow me into the bathroom yelling ‘Sir’. Where I get stares constantly, it’s not just every once in a while. It’s like,’Holy Shit’, we walk to the Applebees in Mississippi and all eyes are on us; we’re like head-turners. But there is such discrimination and people are NOT ok with it. And one of the biggest things is talking about it. And I have a big thing where I just wish people that were curious about queer people would just ask questions; you wanna know, I’m actually willing to help educate you because I’m not different then you. And I’m actually pretty fucking delightful but you’re going to have an opinion on me because of my sexuality? That to me makes explosions in my head cause you don’t know me. I’m actually a pretty fucking nice person. Maybe you’re a nice person. We would never even get to see if that was a thing because you already have a problem with me. That’s insane to me.”

////

Angela: “Thanks Sesar. We love you. You’re a Gem”.

/////

What a delightful Sunday this has been already. Woke up. Drank some coffee. Went on walk. And....I got to Meet with Angela and Annie at the bar we love. Well, I would go as far as to say that they love it more but they allow me to love it in my own special way. I’ve been working for Angela independently for a little over a year now and it’s been really nice to have someone just let me do what I’m good at while also seeing herself and her partner grow as well. The best part is that I recognize not only their love for one another, but their ability to adapt and find new ways to proliferate their places in their lives and their community. They help to create a wonderfully open environment for everyone and above all they’re willing to go above and beyond to make others feel accepted. Now if everyone just made that same sort of effort, we might just have a better place to be. Nothings perfect, but Angela and Annie know that it’s not about being perfect; It’s just about being perfectly who you are.

Thanks you two!

April 1st, 2016 // Day 92 of 366 Subject: Courtnie Laverne Hoyer-Burns Age: 24 Years Old Born: Paradise CA Currently Resides: Arcata CA Occupation: Poet // Truth Seeker // Naturalist 

“Poetry is everywhere for me; it started out as way of healing and to just get in touch with myself on that level. And so a lot of my beginning poetry is very personal and talks about stuff I’ve gone through. But as the years have gone by and I’ve continued to write poetry, I’m now tuned into the world around me. A practice that I really love is finding the poetics of something. So when you take the ego out. When I take my own perception out, what is there?”

“When I don’t dance it’s because I’m either uncomfortable in my body or uncomfortable in my head. And I’m feeling anxious and insecure of other people seeing me moving my body freely; for some reason that’s really scary for me. And there have been times when I finally open up and I’m dancing freely and it’s feeling great. And when I stop dancing and I turn around there are guys licking their lips at me; it’s really disconcerting. Cause I don’t want to be sexually objectified when I’m experiencing this freedom within myself.” 

“I used to be really angry at the foster care system, the social workers, and the foster parents because I felt like I was being taught to repress my emotions or just constantly compartmentalize until I have therapy. And what I’ve learned in the past few years through various healing techniques is how to dig deep into my emotional world, my internal realm. And that’s helped me navigate how I interact with others in the world around me. And it’s also very much helped me develop a strong sense of empathy and compassion for those around me. And so I’ve been able to let go of that anger when I realize that this system doesn’t really teach anyone how to do that. So I can’t be upset at these people who themselves didn’t know how to do that or didn’t even have a desire or thought on how to do that.” 

“It’s interesting; I read this book last summer called “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer M. Rilke and he wrote it in the early 1900′s. And he said that when humans start loving humans then we’ll know what true love is but as long as men are loving women and women are loving men, love with be skewed. And I think that’s becoming more and more apparent these days. That assigning gender roles; we learn to love the gender roles that a person exhibits. Or we love to learn the relationship that we’re in with a person and that we’re not really learning to the love the person. Human beings are dynamic creatures and we’re very fluid. It’s like each moment, different values of ours are coming up whether we’re aware of it or not. And so I feel like this learning to let go of gender identities or not take them so seriously is giving us the freedom to learn to love people for all these different aspects of themselves.” 

“I don’t have hope; I don’t think hope is sustainable at this point. I don’t need it to show love and compassion to those around me. And I think it’s very dangerous for us humans to think too much about what’s going to happen because there are so many unknown variables at play. So that’s been one thing that’s been really freeing for me is to let go of this. I used to have this very doomsday outlook; that we’re destroying the planet with fossil fuels and just being irresponsible. We’re hiding our trash and we’re not really doing anything else with it and he planet could only take so much. But I don’t think we give the planet enough credit and the thought I have at times that the planet will shake us off like fleas and restore itself. And human have become parasites to the planet in that sense. But thinking about those things tends to put me in a place of fear and it’s hard for me to live compassionately out of that place. So I really enjoy imagination play in everything; I think it’s really important practice using our imagination and not get caught on one story in particular.”

Thank you to my friend Courtnie for doing the 92nd installment of 365chico. She happened to be in town this weekend and was goodly enough to go out a very nice spot in lower park for some creative shots and some good talks. She loves poetry, music, dogs, and sometimes people. She doesn’t open up to everyone but when she does, you’re glad that she did. 

Thanks Court.

March 24th, 2016 // Day 84 of 366

Subject: Mathew Troy Shilts

Age: 28 Years Old

Born: Red Bluff CA

Currently Resides: Chico CA

Occupation: News Director at NSPR // Musician

“I think on the one hand I was doing it before I started being a ‘professional’, so it’s like; on one hand I’ve always been playing at least by myself if nothing else. But on the other hand I still take time out of my day on a lot of days because of those times you write something that feels awesome and you and your band mates create something that you couldn’t have on your own, so there are those times. And there are the times that you get to play in front of people and sometimes those are good too. And also it’s nice to have a project that you stick too in good times and bad.”

“It was mind blowing how much you learn about yourself quickly. And how much it changes how you look at your own life and the trajectory of your own life; you have to be really honest about it, and honest with yourself, and honest with another person. I guess I could have guessed all of those things academically but actually living it, it’s totally something I’ve never been through, and it’s really interesting, and I wouldn’t change it all. We moved in sort of quickly by a lot of standards but I really like it. It really keeps me centered and gives me a lot of clarity.”

“First I’d say is just realize that people in the media are just people like you; there isn’t a big media conspiracy. They’re just doing their job. Some of them really well, some of them really poorly. So if you feel like the messages out there aren’t jiving with you and you think there’s something more to it, then you’re probably right. It’s just one version of truth and it’s some people who are sort of professional that have gathered at any media organization. So they’re just doing their job just like anyone is doing their job. I would also say don’t get to bogged down by the bad news because that tends to stick in people’s minds more; we don’t always report on the good things that are going on and a lot of people complain about that, but it’s just sort of the way that humans perceive things. It’s easier to perceive the cataclysms and catastrophes when that’s all that’s going on and I guess; don’t lose heart. Working in a newsroom, there’s always a different story the next day so it helps break up the monotony.”

“I would say I would have more of both; reporting on people, interviewing on people, and hearing how that goes, you can get sort jaded on this typical, political answers, double talk, and that kind of thing. It’s such a cliché but it’s really true that everyone has a story to tell and that’s really cool. It’s humbling that anyone that you would ever talk to and getting into some story; everyone has this little universe. And if you just try to look at people like that I think it’s sort of heartening. So I would say overall I have a better view of the world even though sometimes I it has its dark corners but you have to acknowledge that it’s there.”

“I would also just say it’s cool about the music thing; I also have this sort of unique position in that, although not unique to Chico, in that I get to play music only people I’m good friends with so that totally changes the dynamic. To be older it’s harder and harder to hang with people whenever you want to so that definitely factors in as well.”

Thanks to my good friend and bandmate Matt Shilts for helping me out on the road and participating in a swift and chill 365. He's smart. He's handsome. He's the voice of NSPR. He's he.

March 20th, 2016 // Day 80 of 366

Subject: Casey Allen Schmidt

Age: 31 Years Old

Born: St. Louis MI

Currently Resides: Denver CO

Occupation: Barber // Musician

“They’re both support roles. So, I’m not going to go play a solo drumset show because I’d be an asshole. But I can’t do a haircut unless there’s somebody in my chair. I feel like playing drums for ten years helped me, like if somebody wants something; if somebody says, ‘I want this’, you can say, ‘ Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t play that beat, it doesn’t sound that good.’ or,’ok, lets try to work with that.’ So I feel like what it did is that I’m a supporting role and need people around me, so if you’re an asshole nobody wants to be around you. So it’s better to be nice and just figure stuff out and go from there I guess.”

“I guess all of the things I feel that the bad things people have said, ‘Oh, you’re never gonna get to do this or never get to do that’, the super jaded shitty ones. Like those are the guys that I feel who didn’t work on their marriage. And I feel like I’m excited to not have that; to know that I’m with somebody that I get to work on stuff with which is pretty dope. But I’m excited for the process, ya know? I feel you get to say, ‘I’m going to be with this person and it’s going to get crazy, and we’re still going to be together, and we’re going to work it out’. It’s the same thing as your friends. You’re going to get in fights with your best friends except. I’m just marrying my best friend.”

“I feel like it’s a total luck and blessing thing that I wish I could take credit for it but I just got too lucky. And that’s what’s so crazy; tons of different personalities, tons of different stuff. And it’s usually just by having a conversation and just like bullshiting about something. Like with Starmer; ‘Hey, you like basketball, you wanna play?’ Now I’ve known him since high school. I don’t know; I feel like I just got lucky. I wish that I could come with a formula about that but I feel like I just had some interest and I met some dudes. And then I said, ‘Hey, do you want to hang out and stuff?’ Pretty much my same approach to dating”

“Definitely working in a big city but I love the small town. I’m so excited about having a porch again when people visit. The small town thing; there are those good and bad days where you don’t wanna see anybody and you don’t really have an option. Like you want to go get but you had a rough night and you embarrassed yourself. And you don’t wanna see anybody and your only option is the Starbucks on mangrove, you won’t know anybody there. I’ve always lived in small town. I love the vibe. I like that it’s a community more. Denver is a community but it’s also; I’m sitting there meeting people who live all around the world while I give them a haircut. Like people that are like, ‘I’m in Denver once or twice a year, so you’re my guy when I come here’. And they tell me about their life in somewhere. That’s cool. I like that. But the small town thing is pretty awesome when you live in a neighborhood and everybody knows each other’s names, it’s pretty dope. I just like the opportunity to collect stories from the big city.”

“I feel that foundations are good. That’s kind of like the friends thing too; I have the basic foundation there is setup for a lifelong thing. Like I’m going to be friends with all these people for the rest of my life. And I feel like Lauren and I moving somewhere just out of school, she’s in school, we’re both trying to be ourselves, we’re trying to be a couple in somewhere else. I feel like that was hard; moving three states away and not knowing anybody and I’m doing sixty hours at a barbershop for free to do my apprenticeship while she’s working her ass off in school. I feel like we went through hard stuff and that’s what makes the foundation good. If you don’t go through some rough times, work on it, and learn who this person is in as many ways as possible, it’s not the same. So I’m looking forward to keeping the stability going. And then just being able to keep both of us interested in the things we’re interested in and happy to be a couple but also really knowing that you can be yourself as well.”

Casey was one of the first people I ever was in a band with. We’ve been co-workers, band mates, and good friends. I have the honor of being in his wedding in June and spent this weekend with him and 10 other guys to celebrate his path into marriage and all of our common threads of friendship. He’s an amazing jazz drummer, great barber, cool boyfriend, and awesome friend.

Thanks for today Casey.