#30.6.17

today it is only a muffled thud in my chest, a light spasm of my heartbeat trapped underneath a deep wedged rock. weighing down every action and thought, my words choking against a tangled net in the back of my throat. it doesn’t manifest outwardly, not yet, but casts it’s threatening presence over my day. reminding me every second i take a breath of what is to come, as if i could forget. in this quiet way, it does nothing much. it is no cause for concern, at least for anyone else. but i shrink from it’s faint current with a shaking mind, knowing what it is reminding me of. the eerie calm before the storm.