#2momsmakearight

Doggett is standing behind her. Letting out a string of expletives matching the ones screaming in her head.

The doctor in her looks him over, detached. Clinical in her observations. No signs of broken bones, bruising, blood, bumps. It’s just him. Her brilliant idiot former partner. Wearing a stupid smile on his dirt streaked face.

She takes one step towards him. Another. Feels Doggett’s hand grab her shoulder. “Agent Scully…”

“Let go,” she says inaudibly.

Not hearing her he maintains his hold. “Agent Scully, just hang on for a sec-“

“Let go of me,” she growls. “I need to see…I need.”

She marches in his direction but stops short of needing to look up to see him. He’s still smiling.

“Did anyone miss me?” he quips, but the smile on his mouth that reaches his eyes quickly flickers out.

“Scully…”

“You’re alive. You-“

He nods, she sees his Adam’s apple slide down before he licks his lips. He refrains from speaking though. Refusing to do anything without her reaction, her cue. He needs her permission to proceed and she’ll be damned to give it. Not now. Not yet.

“You’ve been alive,” she murmurs.

“Scully…”

“Unhurt. Unharmed. All…all this time…”

She steps closer, surveys him. He’s squirming, swallows again before..

“Scully, just let me explain, I-“

“Explain?” she scoffs. Her voice breaks and she hates herself for it. Sniffs back tears while cursing her goddamn fucking hormones as she turns away.

He barely touches her before she flinches. When he reaches out again she’s ready, whips around a full 180 degrees to slap him across the face. The hit lands clean, leaves her handprint in a blotchy and satisfying mark on his right cheek.

“What the, Scully!! Did you jus-“

“Shut up!”

When he dares to open his mouth again she shoves him square in the chest and he staggers backward, almost falls.

“Damn it! Scully just let me-“

“I said SHUT UP!”

“Scully…”

She turns on her heel, starts off towards the vehicles at the other end of the field.  Hopping into the back seat of the first one she comes across she slams the door shut, breathes in harshly through her nose before raggedly exhaling. She’s a bundle of adrenaline, raw nerves, hormones, tears and mucus and he’s not going to see her like this. She’ll let him freeze out there before he sees her like this.

“Scully!!” he yells. His voice is muffled behind the glass he’s slamming his palm against. “SCULLY!”

The pounding adds to her worsening headache and she moves to unlatch the door. He doesn’t instantly jump in the seat next to her and she’s grateful for the space, knowing its short lived.

“What do you want, Mulder?”

“To talk to you without having my face rearranged,” he cautiously quips. Not a smirk in sight.

“Mulder…”

“If I shut up like you asked then you’re never gonna know the truth. The truth about what happened out there, Scully. You need to-“

“You were abducted,” she interjects. “After you told me to stay back.  You went to Oregon and you let them take you in the woods that night.”

“Scully, it couldn’t be helped. What happened, I couldn’t-“

She shakes her head, turns away towards the opposite window. Her right hand rises, clasps over her mouth while her left arm involuntarily moves to cradle her belly.

“It couldn’t be helped, Scully,” he reiterates. “I couldn’t control it. Stop any of it from happening.”

“Well, neither could I…” Her voice is small, tearful as she turns back, gives him full view of her arm placement. He frowns, then sees the slight bump.

“Scully, are you….”

“Yes. I’m pregnant. And when I found out, when I needed to wrap my mind around it, when I needed my partner…you had already ditched me.” She places bitter emphasis on the word ditched while her eyes go stormy, freeze over.  “And you didn’t. come. back.”

“But I’m back now, Scully.” Moving fully into the backseat he gently shuts his door. She cowers closer to her’s.

“I’m back now and I’ll be there, be here. In whatever way you let me. You and…and your little uber Scully.”

“I never saw myself as a mother this way, Mulder,” she admits after a beat. “I…I didn’t ask for this.”

“It’s a miracle then,” he breathes. “Did the IVF…?”

“It didn’t take. Or did you forget that when you let them take you?”

“You make it sound like it was voluntary, Scully. I told you already I didn’t let them. That’s not what…”

“Well what did happen then, Mulder? What were you put through? What did they take from you?” she asks pointedly.

“Time, Scully. They took away time I could’ve had with you.”

“Time when I did what? Agonized over this pregnancy? Sat up all night wondering how and why it even happened?”

“How it happened?” he snorts. “C’mon Scully, you’re an MD.  You know what happens when a man and a woman…”

“It’s not from that night, Mulder,” she snaps. “It couldn’t have possibly been from that night and you know damn well why.”

Shifting forward she presses her aching head into the upper back of the drivers seat. Stares down at her hands.

“It’s not impossible though, is it?” he asks, sounding childlike. “Otherwise what would explain…”

“Emily, Mulder.  The explanation for her is the only explanation that I can find for this pregnancy. Only now I’m carrying a child that’s not meant to be, to term.”

“Scully, if it wasn’t meant to be then it wouldn’t be. What does your science say here, what about ultrasounds? Other tests you’ve had run?”

“Every scan has come back normal. Healthy,” she sighs. He looks on quizzically.

“Well unless the scans are being tampered with, why are you so convinced…”

“I was convinced that Emily was normal and healthy. Until she wasn’t,” she breathes. Her shoulders shake and she feels his strong arm go to wrap around her but she shakes her head, dodges his touch as she fumbles for the door handle.

Quickly exiting the car towards the field she wraps her arms protectively around herself.  Walks against the wind and against every instinct she has to turn and run back and fall in his arms. She’s not breaking though. She’s not throwing him headlong into this madness. If she staves him off now, when it counts, she knows she can keep him at arms length indefinitely.  That she can fall back on a useless, petty grudge over his most recent ditch and feed on that anger. It’ll keep him away, keep her away from another heartbreak. Keep him away from another little life lost.

“Damn it, Scully!”

She slows her pace slightly to avoid an exertion cramp in her side and it gives him time to catch up to her.

“I was through talking, Mulder.”

“Good because it’s my goddamn turn now,” he growls, stepping into and blocking her path.

“Move out of my way or you’ll be sorry, Mulder.”

“You mean sorrier than I already am!” he shouts, taking her aback.

“I mean Jesus, I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Scully! I’m sorry I treated you to the ultimate fucking ditch and that I didn’t come back from wherever I was completely bruised or beaten. As proof of what my leaving you cost me!”

“Mulder…”

“I’m sorry I’m the dumb son of a bitch that gets abducted and comes out of it intact and whole in a field, rather than bandaged and broken in a hospital bed,” he says solemnly before stepping closer.

She steps back, startled, but doesn’t fight his hands taking gentle hold of her shoulders, his body pressing into her’s.  He drops his head and she shudders as his forehead comes to meet her own. His gaze sadly drops to her belly, the being kicking between them.

“I’m sorry you can’t see the miracle you’ve ached for as a miracle, Scully.  That my quest you were dragged into made you too afraid to consider seeing it that way.”

She hiccups and one tear slides down her cheek, then another. She shakes her head against his, bites her quivering lower lip.

“I’m not afraid. I don’t get to be afraid..” she whispers.

“Scully,”

“No. I…I’ve had to be strong. It’s how I’ve gotten through this. Got through you telling me you needed to go and you going. It’s how I let you. It’s how I survived. It’s how I got through all this hell alone.”

His arms pull her tight to his chest and she melts into his hold. Hides her face and tears in his shoulder in her own last ditch effort to keep him from seeing them.

“You’re not alone now though, Scully. Not now, not after this baby is born. Not when you and I watch it grow up.”

She shudders now, feels her whole body choke back a sob and it triggers one in him. Their knees slowly but  simultaneously give out and soon she’s enveloped in his arms while he clings to her like a life raft on the cold, hard earth.

A flutter kick between them interrupts the moment. He gasps and she lightly laughs, presses her belly more into his hand that’s now frantically feeling around for more movement.

“This is happening…” she breathes. Feeling her trembling as she says it he nods, holds her closer.

“Yeah. But it’s okay. I swear, Scully. It’s all gonna be okay.”

…

After quietly shutting the bathroom door, Scully scoops William up from his bassinet. Gently shushing him as she does so. He’s been crying all morning and has had her on the verge of tears too more times than she’d care to admit.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” she soothes, walking him out to the living room. Rubbing his tiny back she brushes her lips on the top of his small head. Eyes the packed suitcases that lay waiting by the door.

“It’s all gonna be okay,” she says out loud. For her son’s benefit as well as her own.

Perching in a nearby chair she stares at the luggage set, dazed.  All her fears, all her concerns, her stress from the moment she learned of the pregnancy to the delivery the other night, none of it surpassed the gnawing worry in her gut she was experiencing right now. The worry she hoped to God her baby wasn’t picking up on as she continued holding him tight to her chest.

Feeling a tap on the shoulder she all but jumps out of her skin. Makes Mulder all but jump out of his.

“Shit! Scully are you-“

“I’m fine. We…we’re fine,” she says, not as convincingly as she’d like to.

Moving closer, Mulder embraces them both before brushing his lips on top of her head.

“You’re shaking, honey. Take a breath, okay. Take a breath.”

Eyes fluttering shut Scully follows the instruction, leans against his chest while their boy babbles and dribbles contentedly in her arms.

“Sounds like the bambino’s ready to get this show on the road.”

“The bambino is ready for his mid morning feeding and is trying to get a headstart,” she sighs, shifting the baby away from her breast.

“Well, can you blame him?” Mulder smirks, arching a brow. Stepping back Scully looks up, gives him a patented eye roll.

“I have a bottle already warmed up to give him in the car. No sense in starting his feeding now when we’re supposed to be out the door in five minutes.”

“Sure we can’t race back to the bedroom and make it fifteen?”

Unamused, Scully steps to the side and around him to the suitcases.

“Last time I checked the boudoir is in the other direct-.”

“Damn it, Mulder. Enough with the jokes. I’m not in the mood,” she snaps.

Feeling him come up behind, slide her hair off the back of her neck before massaging the skin Scully sniffs back tears, bows her head and cradles William closer.

“I’m sorry, I just wish we’d left last night. Coming back here was an unneeded risk. We shouldn’t have-“

“Scully, you just gave birth. Then signed out of the hospital against medical advice a day later. You needed a good nights rest. In your own bed.”

“It was selfish. If anyone catches on or…”

“If you weren’t holding our baby I’d knock that word clean out of your mouth, G-Woman.”

Turning slightly, arching a brow at the threat Scully snorts.

“With what, exactly? Your supposed right hook?”

“Supposed? I kick ass in hand to hand combat.”

“You’d want to kick your own ass if you tried your moves against mine, Mulder. I’d beat you senseless!”

“Yeah? Put our boy down in the bassinet then, Scully. It’s go time.”

“For our son’s earliest memory to be his parents duking it out on the living room floor?” she laughs, then gets a wistful look.

“I don’t think we have the time for it now, Mulder.”

Sliding an arm around her Mulder glances around the apartment one last time before reaching for the grip on the largest suitcase.

“Tell you what. We’ll save our skills to christen the new place with.”

“We don’t have a new place. We don’t even have a new home state yet,” Scully sighs.

“Then let’s take our progeny’s advice. Get this show on the road.”

Opening the apartment door with his free hand Mulder smiles, nods to Scully.

“G-Women and children first.”

Stepping up on tiptoe she gives him a small peck on the lips, leads the way into the hall.

“Promise me one thing, Mulder?”

“Anything.”

“We christen the new place with our more romantic skills first.”

“Fine, Scully but you have to promise me one thing.”

“Name it.”

“Never call my right hook ‘supposed’ in front of my son,” Mulder says as she rolls her eyes.

“He’s young but he’ll pick up on that kind of language.”

“But not the sight of parents throwing down in the living room.”

“Depends on which kind of throwing down you’re referring to...”