#2k14s

the fucking guidance counselor pulled me into her office to ask about college bc i was a 'bright young girl with a promising future' and when i told her i hadn't really thought about it, she told me that i should and sent me on my merry way

she didn't fucking talk to me again after that

i dont even know how to apply to a college like oh my fucking god

and i know i'm not really worth the time and money college takes so what's the point??

but i do constantly worry that i am going to be truly alone and sad for the majority of my life

like yeah i have friends but those friends always have better friends (and i'm glad for them, don't get me wrong, they deserve the love and support they get from their myriad of friends), and i am never that better friend. i just get worried that they'll all hit these milestones (marriage, children, long term relationships, fulfilling careers, getting their own houses) and i'm going to be left long behind in the dust, preferring apartments and a cat and my books and movies

i'd like to have a good friend around for those times in my life, but i can't see it happening. i can easily imagine it, watching movies together from opposite ends of the couch, eating dinner together, talking about bullshit in our lives, decorating, having our jobs and our lives but still having at least someone to come home to and to say good morning to each day