#25220

I find myself thinking: there is a constant urge to fill the emptiness, to fill the silence, to fill the mind. There are only a few moments when people are literally forced to just listen to life passing by and even then they desperately try to fill it- with social media, with thoughts, planning something basically anything that takes them away. Me for example, I’m here writing. I couldn’t have peacefully sat on a bench for 20min and done nothing. It like emptiness is awkward or more like the existence of it is awkward. There is this popularized way of thinking that everyone is having an eventful life. Even more. Everyone is having a more eventful life than you particularly. That thought by itself build some sort of anxiety because somehow you don’t fit in or maybe you don’t do enough. In reality everyone is focused on their well-being which obviously includes family, friends, lovers, cowerkers - all type of relationships. So building on that when you stay in that unplanned moment of stillness it feels like you lack the people skills to have company. When actually you might purposely be alone and if not what is so wrong in enjoying your own company. But if you leave a person without a phone, in a room with let’s say books and paper, they will have the urge to escape, most feel overwhelmed by their own existence let alone their thoughts and emotions. This results later in their relationships and life because they have this never ending hole to fill, this life to constantly fill with people and events because everything uneventful is scary and indicator that something is wrong.