#21f

20250824 江ノ島駅-腰越駅間

idk what i'm doing with my life??

21f hi! so i’ve been having kind of an existential crisis lately and was wondering of you guys would be able to give me some insight <3

so i’m graduating undergrad in a few days with a BA in psychology. for a long time i assumed i would go on to grad school and get a job/go from there, but a few months ago i was filling out grad school applications and realized i don’t actually think i wanna go right now lol. i love psychology, got great grades and made good connections with professors, but i still felt like i was never really good at it. i worked in a research lab at my school for a year and i just felt like the odd one out, like i never contributed anything or got asked to do much while students younger than me did. and it got me thinking, idk if research is something i’m good and i’m not sure if i’d be happy pursuing it.

i also had a job making costumes for the theater dept at my school and i just adored it. i went from not knowing how to sew to being a designer and supervisor and i really felt that i improved and accomplished something during my time there! i tried applying to summer programs and internships, but i didn’t hear back from any, and then this whole pandemic went down, so summer seasons aren’t even happening anymore.

ig it’s just hard bc… idk. i haven’t been rejected or accepted anywhere so i have no reference points for if i’m even good enough to try and pursue a job in this field. and now part of me is thinking i should just go to grad school, since i do love psychology and would love to keep studying it, but job options for psychology aren’t all that promising even with a doctorate (let alone a masters or bachelors) and i genuinely have no idea whether it would be worth the investment.

honestly, i don’t have a “dream job.” as long as i have free time, a job i can tolerate, and enough money to live, i don’t care what i end up doing– i just wish figuring out how to get there was easier lol. do you have any advice for how to figure out what i’m doing with my life?

thanks so much for reading this, sorry it got so long! <3

hey! so this narrative that society pushes for people to have a “dream job” or a career they dedicate their lives to or a “calling” isn’t healthy. some people do experience that! some people just know in their bones that they want to be a nurse or physicist or lawyer, that’s completely ok :) but there’s nothing wrong with having a job that you don’t feel that interested in, because you need to pay the bills. 

one of life’s biggest questions is what is the meaning of life? and I mean everyone’s answer is going to be different, but I truly believe that there’s always a theme of happiness in most answers. where you find that happiness? it’s up to you! if it comes from a job then that’s great, if it comes from other sources and your job is just the vehicle to carry you to that happiness, then that’s completely alright too. (this post sums it up really well). 

how to make a decision right now though? sometimes writing out a pro / con list of each option can help clear your mind, maybe making a (virtual) appointment with the careers guidance counsellor at your college could be a good idea as well. maybe it’s possible to take a gap year between completing your bachelors degree in psychology, and going to grad school? that way it gives you some time to breathe, and some time to spend with fashion and textiles so you know if it’s the right fit for you or not. 

for what it’s worth? I would maybe look more into fashion and textiles and being a designer, see where it leads. apply for some more internships and courses (when the world slowly opens back up again), hopefully you get accepted for some interviews! if not? then maybe now just isn’t the right time, it may make the decision easier to choose grad school instead and to stick with it. if you’re not successful in getting interviews for fashion and designer internships, and applying for grad school still just doesn’t sit right with you? it may be that it’s really just not the right option for you, and it’s time to look at something else. take care x

Si no llego viva mañana...

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