#2023 reflection

January 30th, 2024

January was so...bonkers for me in my personal, work, and even game development life??? I'm talking this is the type of shit that should be on a sitcom not my actual life, HELLO?!?! So, I've decided it can belong to 2023, and the new year officially starts in February 😭 Yup.

(This was originally a very long post with an actual tl;dr at the bottom, so I'm breaking it up into parts. This is the shortest part. You're welcome.)

I should take this moment to briefly reflect on the things accomplished last year even if they all weren’t the original goals I set out to tackle. A list below?

In 2023, Hummingbird Games…

Participated in and submitted to 2 game jams

Released its second project, Crushed

Officially began work on HSD:JY #2 (late in flippin' December, but more on that laterrrr)

Started posting content again on our Ko-Fi 🎊

Nuked the official Twitter account 💥

Transitioned game developer Gemini’s screaming, unsolicited gaming-for-fun thoughts to a cute side blog

TURNED 3 YEARS OLD!!!! (so…still a toddler dev for one more year, yaaaay)

Alrighty, this was "part one". The next one will focus on "sapphic project" aka The Knight Dance. And the next will center HSD:JY + tentative goals for the studio in 2024. And then we'll all be caught up!! Yaaaay!!!

Two of Cups (reversed)

I find myself reflecting on the rollercoaster of emotions and challenges that defined the past twelve months. Saying goodbye to 2023 feels like shedding an old skin, leaving behind a chapter of my life that tested my resilience, strength, and ability to adapt in ways I never thought possible.

Heartbreak marked the beginning of the year, as I navigated through the storm of the hardest breakup I have ever experienced. The pain was palpable, and the wounds ran deep. But little did I know, this emotional earthquake was just the precursor to a year of transformation and self-discovery.

In the midst of the chaos, a ray of light emerged – the birth of my son. Becoming a single mother overnight catapulted me into a new realm of responsibility, love, and challenges. The shift from maiden to mother happened in an instant, and with it came a profound sense of purpose and an unbreakable bond with my little one.

Life demanded more than just emotional resilience; it required a physical relocation. I had to uproot my life and move three hours away, leaving behind familiar surroundings and the comfort of routine. Starting over in a new place as someone I didn't recognize proved to be a daunting task. The echoes of change reverberated through every aspect of my existence.

The journey of self-discovery became my compass in this unfamiliar terrain. I sought solace in the unknown, hoping to find fragments of myself that got lost in the chaos of the year. It was a process of unraveling, peeling back layers to reveal the core of who I am and who I want to become.

In the midst of reflection, I turned to the tarot for guidance. The card that surfaced, the Two of Cups reversed, mirrored the complexity of my experiences. In its inverted state, it spoke of imbalances, disconnection, and the need to realign with oneself. This resonated deeply with the narrative of my year – a tale of disconnection, transformation, and the ongoing quest for internal harmony.

As I bid farewell to 2023, I carry with me the lessons etched into the fabric of each challenge. The scars, both visible and invisible, serve as a testament to my strength and resilience. While the year tested the limits of my endurance, it also ushered in a new version of myself – one forged in the crucible of adversity, emerging stronger and more self-aware.

A. I’m learning how not okay I once was caused me to push away my better half

B. Accepting how much it means for things to be bigger than me

C. Do I know how to pivot? I really should try to.

D. Be a friend to others in a way that you’d see yourself wanting to be friends with.

E. Pave my future with what I want.