So I clearly didnāt write much zarry fic this year (I blame the political climate, my bipolar depression, and my own lack of creativity). But it wasnāt a total wash! I did put out a monster of a fic, a fun lighthearted fic, and a new chapter to an old favorite. Hereās my 2017:
Be Still
Words:Ā 150,332
A Detective Zayn AU that features a murder, a mystery, and a whole lot of angst. Did Harry do it?
We See What We Want To See
Words:Ā 25,442
Two married strangers meet in a hotel bar. They get a room together and see where the night takes them.
Wash You Away
Words:Ā 58,125
Harry can see ghosts. Zayn has ghosts of his own. A new chapter to my Sixth Sense AU, to see where Zayn and Louis came from.
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I honestly hadnāt realized I had written so much fic this year. I ought to post the longest among them to ao3, please feel free to nag me about that. I hadnāt set myself any goals, but Iām happy to see that while my love for Lilo still goes strong, I seem to have made a habit of writing niche het pairings, which doesnāt make me popular but is always lovely to work on. Hereās to another year and (hopefully) even more fic. I have about 20 WIPs begging for my attention, so letās try and make this year the year I actually finish what Iāve started. :p
(also just maybe finally dare to write fic with Zayn in it, because letās face it Iād give my life for some Zigi or some Gigi/Camille or any combination that includes these two honestly)
List of all the fics under the cut. Includes AO3 fics, tumblr ficlets, tag fics, verses, and even some wips.
AO3
It Costs a Lot of Money to Look this Cheap : http://archiveofourown.org/works/10831350
I think I do (but I donāt forget) :Ā http://archiveofourown.org/works/13181529
Tumblr
Lilo, apologize to my dick, OTRA-era pwp : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/167779828886/i-just-felt-like-writing-happy-1d-era-lilo-smut
part 1 : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/164565423686/the-conversation-i-like-to-think-el-and-louis-had Ā Ā
part 2 : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/164571140846/part-ii-of-the-conversation-louis-and-el-must-have Ā Ā
part 3 : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/165702387691/those-pics-of-bebe-and-louis-gave-me-feelings-so
part 4 : Ā http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/165771391956/i-still-have-a-lot-of-feelings-about-those-gifs
Elounor, Louis tries on makeup : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/165038146761/i-am-sorry-you-are-feeling-numb-and-out-of-it-it
Elounor, sex by the pool : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/164984593926/louis-wriggling-out-of-his-clothes-and-leaving-a
Louelle with a side of Lilo : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/164875431961/cats-lilo-and-danielle-campbell-looking
Elouelle :
part 1 : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/163880799636/drats-i-was-about-to-fall-asleep-and-then-i Ā Ā
part 2 : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/164266580121/i-keep-thinking-about-danielle-wearing-that-slipĀ Ā Ā
Ā Ā 1d asā¦ posts :
1d as cures for insomnia :Ā http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/157135543766/1d-as-cures-for-insomnia
1d as Clue players :Ā http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/154644113731/1d-playing-clue (cheating a bit because it was december 2016 but I wanted the both of them together)
(fics which also include tag posts and inspiration posts)
Teenage Caldell highschool AU : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/tagged/teenage-caldell-higschool-AU
Fairy Lilo AU : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/tagged/lilo-fairy-verse
Niall is a guitar lover : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/tagged/niall-is-a-guitar-lover
Ā Tag Fics :
Narry, farmer Harry singing to his cows (with @saysthemagpie) : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/163835997956/ticklefightharry-mildlymaddy-farmer-harry
Nilo, worst sandwich in the world : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/161906224229/ferryboatpeak-thatsmoderatelyraven-this
Niam, brightening Liamās day : http://mildlymaddy.tumblr.com/post/159167173418
*All answers should be about works published in 2017
1. List of works published this (last) year
In order of published date, most recent first:
A Hand in His Hair : Haven, Nuke, Rated E
Haven Crew Prompts : Haven, Various, Rated G
Were you ever going to tell me? : Haven, Nuke, G
I Just Wanna Feel ā¦ : Haven, Nuke, E
Real Distraction : Haven, Nuke, E
Out of Space and Time : Haven, Daudrey, E
It's Not a Date : Sometimes I write stuff that's not Haven! This is Peluso/Finn from Conviction. Rated T
Wanna make this more interesting? : Haven, Nuke, E
After the Troubles : Haven, Various, G
Take Care : Haven, Threegulls, G
Coffee Break : Haven, Nuke, E
Here Be Dragons : Haven, Nuke, G
Duke and his boat cat : Haven, Threegulls, G
Spun Around : Haven, Nuke, M
Nuke and ThreeGulls Sketches : Haven, Threegulls, Nuke and others, T
Around the World in 80 Arrest Warrants ā¦ : Haven, Nuke, G
I Will Always Find You : Haven, Nuke, T
I Wasn't In Any Club Last Night : Haven, Nuke, M
Five different moments in the life of Duke and Nate, and one that happens without them. : Haven, Nuke, M
Vacation : Haven, Nuke, M
Proposal (with @grey-havenā) : Haven, Nuke, G
What Do You Desire? : Haven/Lucifer crossover, M
Life Lessons : Haven, Nuke and Gloria, G
Wedding Rights : Haven, Nuke, G
High School : Haven, Nuke, T
1983 : Haven, Nuke, G
Nefarious Creature : Haven, Nuke, E
Have a little Faith : Haven/Buffy Crossover, Nuke / Faith, M
Fear and Processing : Haven, Nuke, T
Snippets From A Life That Might Have Been : Haven, Threegulls, T
Mistletoe : Haven, Nuke, BalfourBryant, T
Waking Up : Haven, Naudrey to Threegulls, E
Long Distance : Haven, Threegulls, E
Up Past Lookout Point : Haven, Threegulls, M
A minute can last forever : Haven, Threegulls, E
Addicted to the feel of her skin : Haven, Mara/Nathan, E
Hey Kiddo, : Haven, Duke and Gloria, G
If the Wind Changes : Haven, Threegulls, G
i lik the fandum : Various fandoms, mostly Haven
Game Night : Haven, Threegulls, E
Moment by Moment : Haven, Naudrey to Threegulls, E
Confidence is a Preference : Haven, Naudrey to Threegulls, E
All Alone In The Night : Haven, Daudrey (sort of), M
Every cloud has a silver lining : Haven, Threegulls, T
Afternoon Luxury : Haven, Threegulls, T
The Power of a Touch : Haven, finale fix-it, G
You Think You Ever Would? : Haven, Naudrey becomes Threegulls, T
So, that's 91.5% of last years fics are pure Haven, 86% of those are Threegulls or Nuke and 46% of those are E or M rated smut. No real need to ask what inspires me to write, huh?
2. What work are you most proud of and why?
Probably Nefarious Creature because it started off as two different things and took some time to combine into one. Also I love where the title comes from. And the mix of smut and heartache.
But I also love I Just Wanna Feel ā¦, the Fake Phone Number āverseĀ (e.g. I Wasnāt in any Club Last Night)Ā and the Nate Hansen AU series - Just because they are fun:)
3. What work are you least proud of and why?
I can't really pick any of those as something that I don't like. One that I find frustrating is Around the World in 80 Arrest Warrants, because I love the concept and I want to write more for it, but that is proving to be difficult.
4. Ā A favourite excerpt of your writing
One of many possible options, this is from I Just Wanna Feel ā¦
-
āFuck off Duke,ā Nathan said tiredly and turned to leave.
āWait, Nathan don't let me scare you off. Stay and have a drink, you'll settle in.ā Duke reached out as he spoke, grabbing Nathanās arm to stop him from going, in a largely automatic gesture given that he knew Nathan wouldn't be able to feel it.
Except Nathan did feel it, Duke saw his surprise and his eyes flick automatically to Dukeās hand with a slightly stunned expression. Duke moved a little closer, partly blocking Nathanās exit route against the crowd of people behind them. āIt's happening again, isn't it?ā Duke asked, intrigued. āYour Troubleās fading.ā
āI am not interested in talking about it with you,ā replied Nathan.
āOK,ā Duke said in acknowledgement. He didn't step away though. He moved a little closer instead and placed the palm of his hand on Nathan's forearm, fingers curling around to the soft skin inside. āThen you won't be interested in telling me why I shouldn't be doing this,ā he said as his thumb traced a small circle on the inside of Nathan's arm.
āDuke,ā Nathan said, careful and low; half warning him to stop, half pleading with him to carry on.
Duke moved his hand up towards Nathan's elbow, fingers stroking along the inside of Nathan's forearm, following the veins and feeling Nathan's skin shiver in response. He watched Nathan for a reaction, noting that he did not seem very interested in moving his arm away.
āWhy deny yourself this?ā Duke asked. āYou know that I can separate sex from ā¦ well, anything else. It doesn't have to get complicated. It doesn't have to mean anything.ā
Nathan's eyes flickered closed for a moment against the softly wandering tips of Dukeās fingers and his thumb which had now reached the inside of Nathan's elbow. āWhat would you get out of it?ā Nathan asked after a moment.
Duke almost laughed, thinking A gorgeous man about ready to beg for my touch . Instead he just said, āYou're so responsive. I think we could have some fun,ā and he stepped a little closer as he pushed his fingers further up Nathan's arm, reaching under the edge of his t-shirt.
āI don't thinkā¦ā Nathan began, hesitantly.
āYou think too much, is the problem,ā Duke suggested, adding, āTell me to stop and I will. Move away and I'll let you go.ā
Nathan did not doubt the truth of that. Duke might be a criminal, he might be many things, but Nathan had never seen any indication of him trying to force himself on anyone. He wouldn't need to for one thing, Nathan thought; he'd never seen him short of options for partners. Which kind of backed up the āit needn't mean anythingā concept, from Dukeās perspective anyway. Meaningless sex was something Nathan himself had less experience with; it was a concept he had not previously been interested in.
Dukeās fingers pushed further along Nathan's arm, reaching closer up to his body, and he tightened his grip a little as he pulled their bodies closer together.
Nathan thought about pushing Duke away, as he had before in the station. There would be something very satisfying about saying āNoā to the cockyass bastard. But, he did not want an end to the sensation of a hand on his skin. He did not want an end to that at all, and so he thought that maybe it was time he explored this āmeaningless sexā concept.
Nathan cleared his throat and shifted his weight forward a little, āDon't stop,ā he said.
-
5. Ā Share or describe a favourite comment you received
I've not really had any negative comments, so I love pretty much all of them. I love the comments from friends who I can be fairly sure will find something to like in what I post, and I love the comments that come out of the blue; those from a username I've never seen before, or from someone who has clicked on kudos many times but it's this one fic that prompts them to write a comment :)
6. Ā A time when writing was really, really, hard
To be honest, my main struggle so far * is simply finding the time to do it. Or when I somehow come up with the most smutty plot idea when I'm at work and can't do anything about it. Or getting half way through one thing and then thinking of something else and not knowing which to work on first. Or my enthusiasm for something I've *just* written threatening to overtake me so that I post it without some much-needed editing.
* I say āso far" though, because I've only been doing this for a couple of years or so and it is entirely possible that at some point I will run out of ideas and spend my time staring at a blinking cursor instead.
7. Ā A scene or character you wrote that surprised you
The smut. All of the smut, in the sense that I never would have expected to write any.
And Addicted to the Feel of her Skin, because I never thought I would write something that dark.
8. Ā How did you grow as a writer last year?
Honestly, I don't know. I don't know if I did, but I kept writing so I probably learnt some lessons along the way.
9. Ā How do you hope to grow as a writer this year?
As long as I keep writing I'll be happy, but maybe I should think about branching out into some different fandoms. Or at least some other characters ;)
10. Ā Who was your greatest positive influence last year?
I have to agree with @grey-haven about the positive loveliness of the Haven fandom ... @beyondtriumvirate @yumearashi @serendipityxxi @fiore-della-valle @balfoursyard @queenbookwench @spankedbyspike , and @grey-haven too of course!
And Fragilelittleteacup on AO3 whose wonderful āLiquid Courageā fic inspired my A Hand in his Hair. And @grey-haven for inspiring Spun Around.
And every lovely person whose name I don't know who commented or clicked kudos on my stuff :)
11. Ā Anything from your real life turn up in your writing last year?
Not directly. Themes do, all the time. Or at least, they turn up in the place I'm writing from, whether they're still there in the finished fic to the same extent I'm not so sure. Themes like trust and control, and whether you can ever really know what another person is thinking. Themes like how scary it is to fall in love with someone and how difficult it can be to take that risk.
12. Ā Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?
New wisdom? No. But some of the classics bear repeating:
Write whatever you feel, then go back and edit.
Finish something, then wait a few days and read it over again before you post it
Post it, and then go do something else (preferably away from the screen). Don't sit there clicking refresh to look for a reaction; it will drive you mad.Ā
Keep a notebook by the bed for the inevitable middle-of-the-night ideas. And in your bag (or find a phone app that works for you).
13. Ā Any new projects youāre excited to start this year?
um ā¦ more smut?
14. Ā Tag any other writers whose answers youād like to read
This is the part where my mind goes blank:/ It's always interesting to hear about people's writing, so; anyone already tagged and anyone else reading this who wants to do it or wonders how many fics they published last year (it might be more than you think!)
I was tagged for this a(bout a month ago, sheesh) by @catty-words, one of the sweetest and loveliest people I have the pleasure of calling a friend. *HUGS*
That said, doing this was a little depressing, when compared to 2016 - so thanks for that, hon! ;-) But itās mainly for a good reason (new job that I actually enjoy and which keeps my brain busy), so thatās kind of okay really. I just miss being properly involved in a fandom.
Total 2017 Word Count: 34,603 (9 fics)
Total 2017 Hits: 9,466
Other 2017 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 902; Comment threads: 84; Bookmarks: 78; Subscriptions: 28.
Total 2016 Word Count: 110,113 (24 fics)
Total 2016 Hits: 23,744
Other 2016 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1507; Comment threads: 301; Bookmarks: 115; Subscriptions: 45.
Links and titles to 2017 works:
Fate Goes Ever As It Must: The 100, Pangur Ban AU, Bellamy/Clarke, 6171 words. Clarke is a medieval nun who makes illustrated manuscripts, Bellamy has a talking cat. It was a thing.
Slow Burn: The 100, Bellamy/Clarke, 2555 words. Canonverse AU. Clarke decides to woo Bellamy.
A Whole Lotta Grown-Ass American Women: The 100, Ghostbusters AU, 2768 words. Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Lexa as the Ghostbusters.
You Are The Opera (Always On Time And In Tune): Community, Annie Edison/Jeff Winger, 12165 words. AU following 603 Basic Crisis Room Decorum. Most of this was written a while ago, I just finished it in 2017, so that knocks about 10,000 words off my actual total written last year.
Touchstone: The 100, Bellamy/Clarke, Stargate AU, 1612 words. Bellamy and Clarke are rival leaders of Gate teams. Apparently I like doing AUs in t100 fanfic.
Itās A Boy!: The 100, Bellamy/Clarke, Stargate AU, prequel to the above fic, 1736 words. Bellamy gets de-aged, because Stargate has all the best tropes.
Self-Rescuing Princess: The 100, Bellamy/Clarke, 4735 words. My take on what could happen for the big s5 reunion.
And This Is Why I Sojourn Here: Community, 792 words. It all makes sense: his uncanny abilities as a lawyer, his amorality and deviousness, his weirdly pointy good looks... Jeff is a fairy.
Nothing Iād Like Better Than To Fall: The 100, Bellamy/Clarke, John Wick AU, 2069 words. Clarke is an assassin for hire (retired), and she has just had the WORST day.
Favorite Fic: You Are The Opera. I like the stuff I wrote two+ years ago best. :7
Hardest Fic: All of them have been like pulling fucking teeth. I have three Iām determined to finish (all Community), and a ton of WIPs that Iād love to write. And if I find the inspiration, a load of follow-ups, but I honestly can't see that happening.
Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2018?: Honestly, this depends on me finding time, energy, and inspiration. It might well take finding a new fandom that hits me as hard as Community did, and those come about once every ten years, tbh. So, itās unlikely. :(
What was the best thing about 2017?: That I did actually get some stuff written, actually more than I'd thought. I was really glad to finally post You Are The Opera, I'm really please with some of the lines in that.
What was the worst thing about 2017?: Having lots of ideas and no time or energy. I MISS WRITING! I MISS THE INTERACTION WITH YOU GUYS!
Any last thoughts for 2017?: Shoutout to MizVickers on AO3, who has been going through all my Community fics and commenting on them - Iām failing to respond, but bless you for it, I do notice and appreciate it! And also to everyone else who reads and hits kudos/comments, every single one gives me a boost, and makes me want to get back to writing. I love you all. :)
Also, I want to express my eternal appreciation for @bethanyactually, who I was privileged to meet, this year. The fact that Iāve produced anything this year is largely down to her, and sheās unfailingly supportive, without being pressuring.
Goals for 2018: Finding a way to fit writing back into my life. I actually love my new job, and thatās half the problem (I know itās a GOOD problem, donāt get me wrong): my brain is actually focused on work. But I really do miss writing, so now that Iām more settled in, maybe I can find time. Coming up with ideas in the car, now Iām more familiar with driving? Writing on train journeys, if I can find a way to get over people reading over my shoulder, or find a way to shield my screen? Writing when Iāve got overnight trips? These should all be possible, in theory.
itās that time of year my friends, where I go back through everything Iāve written and pick my favorite per month. which is easy this year! because I really didnāt write that much. xD I normally count up my words per month, but itās a little harder to do on my tablet so Iāll just include a year-total at the end. weāll be skipping September and November, since... I didnāt write anything those months. OTL
JANUARY
total fics this month: 1
i keep on dreaming for me [ ereri. 5.1k. complete ]
Eren looks at the screen of his laptop, where a YouTube video is paused on Levi Ackermanās 2010 Cup of China FS. Itās set to Chopinās Les Sylphides, and will end up being the program that wins him his first gold at the Grand Prix Final a month later in the very same rink. Eren sighs, resting his cheek in his hand, eyes traveling the clean lines of Leviās paused figure in the middle of a combination spin, poised in a flawless Biellmann. How anyone, even Armin, canāt see the pure beauty and artistry when Levi Ackerman skates is beyond him.
FEBRUARY
total fics this month: 2
a heart of paper cranes [ victuuri. 20.2k. wip ]
In Japan, there is an ancient legend that promises a wish to anyone who folds a thousand paper cranes.
Yuuri has given Victor twenty-three. It seems a shame to stop now.
MARCH
total fics this month:Ā 9
and once upon a song [ victuuri. 12.4k. wip ]
A popular high school ice hockey star and a shy, academically gifted transfer student discover they share a secret passion for singing. When they end up accidentally auditioning for the lead roles in the school musical, it threatens East High's rigid social order and sends their peers into an uproar.
APRIL
total fics this month:Ā 3
duckling [ victuuri. 3.6k. complete ]
The ballet classes are, inevitably, Victorās idea.
MAY
total fics this month:Ā 2
tfw victor nikiforov stars yelling at you in russian [ victuuri. 1.9k. complete ]
Sixteen-year-old Chihoko Sato is at Four Continents almost by accident, so the fact that Victor Nikiforov is headed straight towards her is probably also an accident, right?
JUNE
total fics this month:Ā 6
with these things iāll never say [ victuuri. 1.8k. complete ]
Yuuri has been Victorās PA for well over a year now, but no matter how many times Victor has told him otherwise, he still leaves actual handwritten notes for Victor to find.
JULY
total fics this month:Ā 4
weāre after the same rainbows [ victuuri. 16.2k. wip ]
Summer camp is supposed to be sleeping bags under the stars, ghost stories around a campfire, overturned canoes in the lake, hikes that last all day, and friendships that last for a lifetime.
Summer camp is not supposed to be finding your best friend and falling in love with him, but the summer after Yuuri turns 12, that's what it becomes.
AUGUST
total fics this month:Ā 1
'cause i know youāre worth it [ victuuri. 2.3k. complete ]
Victor has imagined this moment a million times.
He never imagined it being so very spectacularly terrifying.
OCTOBER
total fics this month:Ā 1
a penny lost is a penny found [ victuuri. 10.8k. complete ]
Yuuri wonders what he must have done that, of all the strangers in all the world, the one walking towards them has to be the beautiful mystery man from their Splash Mountain photo.
DECEMBER
total fics this month:Ā 1
hears, stars, and snowflakes [ victuuri. 5.1k. complete]
Victor hasnāt made cookies with his grandmama in a decade, but helping Yuuri in his own Christmas cookie tradition pulls at the same heartstrings.
total number of fics:Ā 30
approx. total word count:Ā 110.1k
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