I kind of like Gemma. She protected Bethanny from those bullies and she seems to fit in somewhat. Even as she screamed “murderer” at Jason in the pub. lol 

Busy bee. I wasn't even able to track or remember specific things that I have completed today. I bit of a hassle but I missed being busy on great projects. It takes up too much space in my head. I think I can actually think more properly. I need more will power and get my act together.

Now this is a good step to let me think of things up. Riding through the wind, stearing my own two wheels, pedalling as hard as I can on hill-like roads, and keeping the faith that motorists won't yell at your stupidity in the road. Hah! I feel a bit better. It may not be that much, but it is better than nothing. Good game as well! I still pressured though. I really need to shake it out.

You that time when you just can't function very well? Its like I know that I need to do something but when I think of doing those things I realize all of a sudden its a lot. Then I get overwhelmed by it and then my will power to organize myself isn't working. Laziness, that's what it is, or maybe not. Though why am I feeling scared at the same time? I can't pin point this feeling again. Spiralling back.

I feel awful. Well, physically I'm down right sick. Ugh! Mentally, I think something is up again. Something is not quiet adding up. I keep on filling myself with food and without contentment, again. Not good. What's up? I don't know either. I have to stop or I have to discover why. I'm crossing all my fingers.

I'm gonna start my day right! Yeah, that's what I said, then all of a sudden, my body decided to brake down. I'm imagining it glaring at me and saying "Yow! You got not supper powers." Hah! Silly old me. I should've expected it will happen, sooner or later. They say abusing my body at a young age is not good and that I'll be in debt. It'll ask payment in a very near future. So far, I don't see the point. Maybe because I don't fear losing anything that much, even my own life. That means, all is well.

I still want to do my Sunday routine, well I did, the down side is that I didn't enjoyed it as I used to. I haven't recuperate from yesterday's activity. Plus the fact that I know some people wouldn't want me as their partner, so there goes having fun. I guess I just had to go through the day. Sweat it out and endure it, mentally and physically.

Three cheers and one hurrah! Is there something more extreme than being exhausted? I'm flat out tired. Though this day was worth it. But still, I'd hope that I had the balls to say no to the last activity. Why can't I say no? Ugh! Then regret will follow, then guilt to your friends, then blame to yourself. That cycle ain't good.