#2013review

This 2013, I felt that I have become more mature and independent. College was a really big step for me, that it shifted everything. It was like I had changed into a clearer lens; I now see myself and the people around me differently than before. I believe that I have also drawn closer to God and my family this year, though given the fact that I now live far away from them. I also made really great friends and developed a strong bond with them. This year I think my friends and my studies came next to what's important, after my family. I realized that childish romance didn't matter to me anymore, that romance itself had already lost its appeal to me. I guess this year I took a break on that stuff, and probably the next few years will extend that break. And of course, there are the downs. I had to leave for college, those people who just came and decided not to stay for long, hell weeks, etc. Even growing up. Come to think of it, sometimes growing up sucks. You have to do what grown ups do. You have to leave the people you love because you have bigger responsibilities. You have to decide on things you really don't want to do. You have to compromise with life. 

2013 has been a crazy year and i don't really expect any of you to read this but this is a thing for me more to document the last year of my life. i got to spend about 6 months of this year and the first 7 months caring for willow at home, soothing, teaching, loving and caring for my gorgeous daughter.  i married the love of my life. it was hectic, but amazing and i wouldn't change a thing. at the end of the day im even more in love with my husband now then the day we were married. right after we got married (3 days) my husband lost his job. after 3 months of no income and applying for every job we dug ourselves into a little whole of debt.  Finally i got a job back with anz a company i use to work for. i hated it their, it was so soul crushing listening to people constantly complain. but it was amazing pay so you just shut up and solider on.  My relationship with my husband became strained, filled with tension, the ability to communicate and understand each others needs broke down. But we fought through the issues and have and are still continuing to build strong bonds. I was diagnosed with postpartum hypothyroidism, this was only discovered after i went to the dr demanding help as i had been trying to lose weight but instead kept putting it on ( in total i put on 40ish kilos due to the condition after willow was born) Started antidepressants as i found my job and the atmosphere that came with it along with the growing hate for the way i looked was becoming way to much for myself and i was struggling to tell where the bad days end. I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH BABY NUMBER 2! the pregnancy started off better then my pregnancy with willow but after a bout of gastro it all went to crap, as well as an anxiety issue that only arises when pregnant.  willow turned 1! omg i couldnt believe how quick this last year has gone. it breaks my heart that she is no longer my little baby who only ever wanted to snuggle with mum, now she is a walking, talking, adventurous, sassy toddler who is so very independent I also started counselling more so for my anxiety but she thinks there are other important things to talk about and the final thing of the year was me quitting my job, It was becoming an anxiety issue, they were holding the threat of termination over my head and not very understanding of some of my situations.  This year has been full of smiles, laughs, crying, love, hate, cuddles and im just so exhausted, but bring on the next year, i have the best husband in the world, the most amazingly gorgeous girl to watch grow and soon to be another little bundle to complete our family!