Oct 4, 2012
unreactive
never catching the feels
for the experience
in control
learning
+
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unreactive
never catching the feels
for the experience
in control
learning
+
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I'm actually enjoying this so far :} It's giving me a chance to write more than before and actually focus on the things I need to get done. While also blogging more than usual, which is what I like best anyways.
I have recognized my faults and that's the worst part about being alone in this period of challenging myself. Because it is me I need to work on, it is me I need to focus on, and I pushed away a lot of people who attempted to be close to me in the mean time. So for that I feel guilty, irrational, and regretful. I don't want anger to have that much pull on my actions, but it is my quickest defense mechanism. If I get angry, it's the easiest way to prevent others from seeing what's really going on in my head. If you don't know, you can't hurt me. If I get mad, I can run away. It's all about the escape. Because I live in fear of someone actually staying. Because I know how truly hard it is to live with myself, and sometimes I don't think I could expect someone else to put me on their plate.