#2.6.25

Good episode, lots of nice slice of life-isms and they remembered Azu's arc is kind of an ongoing thing which was fun, although the most notable thing is it ends with a villain appearance, and said villain isn't Keroppe despite many peoples' assumptions that he would be. I don't feel either positive or negative about this direction for the narrative to take, just simply curious is all. We'll see how it goes next week.

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february is not an easy month to stay alive. i bid my friends goodbye and step out january’s backdoor, where each day is a coin-flip between snow-melting warmth and the kind of cold that hurts your lungs. it does feel good to be home. it does feel good to make myself a cup of coffee, work through another library book, carefully annotate the stanzas of my favorite poems. today, i walk to the library to get work done because any time i sit at my desk i start to cry. it is one of the warmer days. the air smells like the end of march, all wet and grey but greening. i proofread a best friend's manuscript, marvel at the miracles she has witnessed through her waiting. i marvel and wait for my own. i walk slowly back home because the world smells like england's damp earth or the morning of my twelfth birthday, like there's a promise waiting there underneath all the dirt, nearly ready now, just waiting for the thaw. my brain is not my favorite place to live right now. no matter what i do, i still feel like i'm wasting time. the clocks don't stop ticking and the pains don't recede; i work at my worries like a sore tooth. i've been rinsing my mouth with warm saltwater and rinsing my brain with prayers, turning it over til each groove is cleaner, letting the grime run off like rainwater down the street. yesterday i had an anxiety attack for the first time in a month––really, a month, it's been that long. this time last year it was every other day. it does me good to remember His goodness. i don't know why certain weights have eased while others have grown heavier, but i lay my need for knowing at the feet of Jesus. He smiles when i tell Him how much i love spring. the snow will come back, i know, and the dead grass will keep dying. but there is life here, too, in the shortest month, as we continue our crawl back up out of the dirt towards a coming sun.

mack shaking his head for an extended period of time so you know that he really doesn't like losing in overtime

when you're ready to leave the locker room but you have to wait for your boybestfriend to finish his handshakes

pregame silliness

will and mack were practicing flipping the puck to each other before the game