#2-2020

I’ve gotten to a point in my life we’re having friends just sounds exhausting spending time with others just sounds like something I don’t want to do and the only person I really want to see every day with is my girlfriend but I’ve also gotten to a point in my life where that’s not where she’s at she wants friends she wants to socialize but I don’t I rather just go home and see her and spend time with her and I know I’m clearly just going through something but I force myself to make friends and I don’t even want to go through the plans that I’ve made I want to cancel them and I want to stay home and I hate that this is where I am right now but I forced myself to make friends because she has friends I force myself to make plans because she has plans but really I just wanna stay home I want to stay home and do nothing and enjoy myself and enjoy her if she wants to do something well she can go do it because I really just don’t want to be around anyone else’s energy but mine or hers it’s probably really unhealthy I’m aware I don’t know what to do about it that’s just the place I am in my life right now I feel bad that I put myself out there and I made friends and I don’t even want to go through the plans that I made I just don’t feel like being social it just sounds like it’s gonna take way more energy then I’m willing to give starting new things sounds exhausting meeting new people sounds even more exhausting and getting to know people sounds draining i’ve gone through some things that I don’t want to talk about and I know that’s why I feel the way I do but I just wish that I could be in a bubble just me and my girl you know