#2:55

Women in Athletics with Elliana Pogrebinsky 9/5/20

Elliana: Where was most of this pressure coming from that you felt? Was is coaches, officials, parents?

Christina: Mostly myself. I’m a people pleaser, and I need the people around me to be happy with me, so whenever I feel like I can’t do that, that, that upsets me, but it motivates me to work harder, so it all works out.

Elliana: Yeah. Did someone maybe say something to make you feel like you weren’t pleasing them? Or you just kind of brought that on yourself? Like you manifested those feelings?

Christina: Oh, actually, so whenever we started competing internationally, ISU like posts your videos, and for a couple of seasons, I was obsessed with like reading the comments. I don’t know if you ever read yours, but they are SO MEAN,

Elliana: Really?

Christina: SO MEAN, yeah, or at least we had some. There was this one French lady, she hated us, like, and I would read those, and like, of course like your coaches are tough on you, cause they want you to get better, and like I don’t know, I was thinking of all my correction, and I was  reading what this lady was saying, and it was kind of working, like it all made sense in my head, I don’t know, and it made me super upset, like I felt like I was disappointing, like those people more than my coaches and the officials.

Elliana: that’s insane

they can't glide like yours do.

my blinking is clumsy.

theres no grace in my blinks.

you don't blink your eyes bat.

you don't bat your eyelids kiss.

they talk a lot, your eyes.

when you look at me they sing.

a duet i think.

about two runaways.

the other day i read a quote: a moment is all it takes to forget a lifetime but sometimes a lifetime isn't enough to forget a moment.

maybe morrison missed something. maybe a moment is a lifetime.

the moment i saw you i knew you. everything in me that was hallow and false became clear.

god must have been in love when he made you.

the only explanation.

you personify the word to no end.

from it's glory to it's spoils.

i have suffered from the absence of your skin,

which clings to mine as if bonded by force.

the absence of your smell,

which has seduced me to take an extra breath of you when i hold you.

now i suffer more from trying to get you to escape my mind and evacuate my heart.

have you ever looked up the synonyms for passion?

initially i was shocked to find agony, pain, and distress.

now i understand completely why our moment has affected me so.

i miss you.

i love you.