#1corinthins13

“13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

I’ve spent alot of these last 2 weeks (how has it been two weeks already) reflecting on my faith and how it has come to be a part of every aspect of my life. In the last week I came across 1 Corinthians 13 on 2 separate occasions and it resounded with me especially in this time of difficulty for my family and myself. 

I’ve found myself easily frustrated, very stressed, and under slept over the past few weeks and I’ve been forgetting myself in everything I am worried about. I had my final observation in my first year of teaching, which to be completely honest could have gone about 80 times better than it did, but it was one thing off my plate. I had 2 final papers and an assignment standing between me and my first semester of grad school being done, and thankfully that went better than my observation. And finally we all had Emmi Grace in our hearts, minds, and prayers constantly. Like I said, a whirlwind of stress this week.

For the first time in a long time, I leaned entirely on my faith to push me through this time of stress. I “left it at the foot of the cross” (to borrow an expression from the Polo family) so to speak and let my week unfold. I won’t say I didn’t experience anxiety or stress, because I did,  but the grace with which I was able to handle this week was greater. I stopped saying no to opportunities to be with the ones I loved simply to “take something off my plate”, I started saying yes and meaning it with all my heart, and because of that, as I wrap up this week, I feel blessed to have had that time with family and friends, not just relieved to be done. 

The need to interject more love in my life really hit me. No matter what I do, if I do it in a spirit of guilt or obligation, it doesn’t fulfill anyones’ needs because I am not giving my best. If I go to work and work with these students who so greatly need me at my best and to be a consistent, loving, nurturing figure and instead I give them a stressed beyond belief, fed-up, annoyed teacher, not only do they not get what they need, but I don’t get any fulfillment, only frustration, from my work. If I go to babysit for my cousin, or sit with her daughter at the hospital and show up annoyed, frustrated, or stressed, not only will my cousin recognize this and feel like she is imposing by asking for help in this time of need but her kids will feel that stress or frustration when they need love, and I am not gaining from spending time with them either. I am not appreciating one of the greatest gifts we have to give, their time. If I do an assignment in a place of frustration, aggravation, and stress, not only will it take me twice as long to complete, but my work will be sloppy and incomplete rather than concise and perfected. 

So rather than approaching life in a spirit of stress and frustration, I have decided that the “yeses” in my life need to be given in the spirit of love. Because only with love is my faith complete. And only with love can I hope for a better day tomorrow for all of us. 

“13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”