hey, @taylorswift. its been four years since we met and i cried in your hallway when i talked to you, gave you a handwritten letter, and when you popped out and pointed to me saying “twinning with the sweaters!” that was the best day of my life. you invited me into your home to listen to your new album a month before its release! i cant believe it. although, i haven’t always had such magical days. these past four years have been some of the hardest years of my life. when i met you, i had just turned 12. i was a baby! i’m now 16 and life has thrown some difficult things my way. i’ve been lucky enough to have some amazing opportunities to see you live your dream as you’ve made one of mine happen four years ago today, september 20, 2014. these are some of the best nights of my life. i saw you at the 1989 tour august 15, 2015 in santa clara, then i saw you at poptopia in san jose december 2, 2017, and then this year i saw reputation tour may 11 and may 12 in santa clara. during those few nights, i danced like no one was watching and sung my heart out. i cried a lot! i had a bright pink sign that said “And they said @SpeakNowForevs” for both nights of the reputation tour. for night one, i was right at the end of the stage on the right side (section b, row 2, seat 13) and then for night two i had vip seats at the dress b stage (section k row 2 seat 8). i had the best view for both nights. i cried the most during long live/nyd. during night one, my sister adriana and my mom sat up in the 100’s and they saw your mom. my sister describes it as “i was walking to go to the bathroom and there she was! it was like fate” and she said “OH MY GOD ANDREA!” and your mom said “hi!” with a big hug. and my sister was telling her about me and my mom was hyperventilating against a poll lol! she was in such shock! then my mom and your mom talked a little and had like a mom-to-mom connection about how “your daughter has helped my daughter so much”. andrea was the sweetest to them. my sister was telling the girl with glasses who was with your mom about me and she asked where i was sitting. my sister explained and they said they’d look out for me. so my sister calls me after the show and says to “STAY WHERE YOU ARE. WE TALKED TO ANDREA TO FIND YOU”. so naturally, i cried and stayed but the security kicked me out of my seat. i cried so much because i felt so close to you, taylor. so right before the show on night two, i saw your assistant, tree paine and i gave her a book i made you. it was tan with sparkly trim around it and a heart with my name on it. i asked her to “please give this to taylor” and she said “i can try. i cant promise it but i will try” and without breaking eye contact i said hopelessly “please, please, please” as she walked away backstage. i wonder if you got it. if you did, you know that i’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for the past three years. and i’ve been clean. you’ve helped me through so much more than just that. those two the most but i’ve also dealt with heart break and losing close friends. its like i’ve got your music in my mind saying its gonna be alright. thank you for showing up just in time and liking my post on august 14, 2018 about your sexual assault case. when you liked it, it almost felt like a big “i’m here for you” type of hug. as i said in it, i will always be by your side because you’ve always been by mine. and i never got to tell you in person, but i love you. i didn’t tell you four years ago and its my biggest regret. i hope that one day, maybe by fate, we run into each other again and i can tell you ‘i love you’ and then hear it back from you followed by a long, warm hug that i’ve needed for so long. i really need this. hopefully, one day. i love you so much and i’m so proud of you. thank you for all that you’ve done. i miss you more and more every single day. i love you, taylor💗 @taylornation