#17.8.2018

August 17, 2018 - Day 59

27 minutes at bedtime

Then there are night’s last night ! Sigh. The joy of meditating 🧘‍♀️ seems to be happening to me in a wave like pattern. The mind goes up as a wave 🌊 for a few nights, gets all restless and then it falls and merges with the vast depths. Last night was a merger with vast depths !

It’s good just to be able to watch the mind’s behaviour, as a whole. This emotional distance from all of one’s own thoughts 💭 is a desired state. The mind is capable of generating thoughts relentlessly. That’s ok. It’s in its nature. It starts dreaming when you suspend all conscious thoughts ! That’s how much a mind can bring to your attention. And that’s ok.

Relief is in not getting caught with a thought. How we extrapolate thoughts to reach an end ! It’s all happening in our heads and we feel satisfied only after reaching a chosen end. We don’t like being interrupted. This ! This goes away ! When you meditate regularly, this attachment to reaching an emotional end with thoughts, disappears.

Instead of letting yourself get caught in a cyclical thought pattern, the idea is to interrupt it with the meditation technique of your choice. Not to get trapped in an established sequence of emotions. Escape the habit trap by meditating as often as possible. The good news is that this works even when you face your subconscious. This is where you can see the desires that make you act in a particular sequence. And every desire wants the same thing. A smooth playing out of will in favour of that desire.

When you gently hold the end desire of all your meditations before your attention, there is surrender. The attention can be surrendered to this One Desire. Just to wait and see where this desire can take your thoughts, is an adventure by itself. Meditation is quite an adventure. To go from the comfort zone of restlessness to an unknown calm, can be frightening at first.

Surrendering to the technique of your choice is a necessary step in advancing inwards. The subconscious can not be dealt with, with attention. Staring at the subconscious is the same as lucid dreaming. Too many interpretations will required to make a guess of what it all means. Too many thoughts to deal with.