#16.01.18

Erinnerungen sind dass einzige was einem bleibt, wenn man jemand verloren hat.

I’m the weirdest procrastinator. And the thing with procrastination, it all comes from a place of fear. It’s just awful. It’s horrific. My therapist said that I’m a procrastinating workaholic because once I start working on something, I work so hard that I injure myself and forget to breathe and do all this other stuff. I just have a problem getting started. For me, it’s like a perfectionism thing. It's because I’m like I can’t just do something and try my best to do whatever, I’m like if I do this thing it HAS to be amazing. It doesn’t matter if it’s like an essay, a YouTube video or tidying my bedroom. I’m like if I do this thing. I have to like DO it, man. And that’s the thing, I put this fear in myself. If I was someone who was like I can just do it, roll with the punches and go with the flow of life but for me, it’s like a perfectionism thing. I know that when I start it, I'm going to work so hard that I’m going to be bleeding because I care too much, ‘cause I’m a freak. I’m definitely someone who cares.

Es ist schwer, seinen Papa zu verlieren. Die Gedanken erinnern sich an Worte von ihm, an Taten von ihm und ein Stück von all` dem Erlebten bleibt in unserem Herzen drin. Ein Stück in lieber Erinnerung an ihn bleibt bestehen. So bleiben wir für immer verbunden, von Herz zu Herz. Und sagen im Gedanken zu ihm: „Schön, dass du da warst, Papa." "Danke für alles."

I want to come into this new year with no anxiety, with no like baggage. I just want to be calm. I just want to be zen. I want to take things slow. I want to be happy. I want to be creatively inspired. And I want to be, 2018: who is Dan? Who do I want to be? How can I still improve as a person? And who am I as a creator? As an entertainer? As this public figure, supposedly. Like what do I want to achieve this year? Like who do I think I am? Because I think  that you should always keep yourself on track by setting goals for yourself or having intentions. You can just go with the flow but when you go with the flow, I don't know. It's like you should always take a moment to think: This is what I value. This is what I want. This is who I want to be. This is what I want to achieve. And then write it down and keep it in mind, like a modus operandi and stick to that mission statement, you know what I mean?

You lot. Well, obviously most of you here are the most wholesome, wholesome fraction of the people who would watch my YouTube videos, especially the ones that are actively engaging in the chat right now, so thank you all for being so positive. Aww. Look at you. Indeed.

Nichan: Today we created another memory together with you, guys. I’m feeling really happy right now. All the people, who came. Thank you so much for showing us that amazing scenery. We will keep doing our best. So we are counting on your support from now on. 🙇‍♂️

Nibansenji: when I get out of the bath and brush my hair, the piercing makes me look so hot!!! never gonna take it off!!!! I’ll probably forget to anyway!!