#12of366

Bukan puitis dan romantis, apalagi humoris. Sedikit melankolis dan cuma numpang nulis.

Aye-yay-yay! Today’s been a day and it’s not even over yet. Lots of emotions.

I had a crazy shift this morning and hopefully will have a smooth shift tonight. I’ll try and manifest that. Speaking of which, on Tuesday while bartending, these two douche-bags (judgment, I know), or rather, these two young men who I just got a feeling I did not want to deal with came in and got a pitcher. They were using some heavily expletive language and I was really just wanting them to leave without getting drunk or too rowdy, forcing me to have to kick them out. I just kept wanting them to leave and focusing on that feeling (it kind of felt like dwelling?). Eventually they did. I was so relieved. It just proved to me how I could manifest something if I just vibrationally will it to happen. It was kind of weird and crazy and awesome! That was something I wanted to mention that happened this week.

Today’s practice was more of a continuation of yesterday’s I feel. It was very fluid, and my body was sort of sore, but strong, and kept up. What really stood out today was savasana. I cried today while in the pose. I’m sure I was in a meditative state and just felt this surge of emotion. I couldn’t describe it as positive or negative, it was just this emotion. I teared up and started crying a little. It was the first time I felt that in savasana and I know it’s not unusual for people to do that. Maybe there was some growth there?

Brag: I guess you could say I saved the day at work this morning. I was set to train baking again at the café. Turns out the baker who was to train me didn’t show. I had to wait an hour for the manager to get there to unlock the door. I then started baking even though I’ve only just observed previously. Yes, having that extra hour would have been helpful. Yes, I should have just said screw-it and left because it ultimately wasn’t my problem to fix. But I stuck in there and devoted my time to my job, which I think shows a lot about my character to my co-workers, so, hopefully some good karma is coming my way?

Desire: I hope to get some major sleep after this long night I’m about to have. I. Am. Tired. Like woh! Or woe...

Honestly, I created this Tumblr to writing what I come feeling and I not in the mood today. I tired of do nothing interesting in my boring work and my spirit today was sad with no motivation, more than Sadness in the movie Inside Out. I think I shouldn't cut the drug at once like I did. Today, I took one pill of Tofranil to help me a stop feeling this way, like the life hasn't motive. I know there isn't fair I complain about my life as I do. I have a job, who pay well, I have health and all my family, but some reason I not happy ( I know is my depression, but you understand what I try to say), but I can't just enjoy this as I should.