#12ks

Jasper was sitting with her shoulders slumped over and her mouth swishing around bottom shelf brandy and some bad decisions. She still had her work shirt on and the smell of sweat and her last hit of Corrupted X on her tongue.

God, she needed to stop that.

A petite woman sat beside her with a wine glass, also bottom shelf, and her sharp eyes focused on nothing in front of her.

Jasper took a deep breath and doesn’t look at her, “do you love her?”Lapis made a face at her and scrunched up her nose, “what kind of question is that?”“Excuse me, let me try a more reasonable question: what color will the flowers be? How will the weather be?” Her eyebrow twitches and three years of annoyance bubbles up again. Lapis looks ready to stick her tongue out at her.

Jasper takes a deep breath and remembers what doctor Nelson said: a field. A green field and a lot of fucking wildflowers in it.

Lapis sniffs loudly, “blue roses. And green wreaths. It should be sunny.”Jasper took a deep sip and and swallowed with a burning down her throat, “cool.” She rasps and wishes she hadn’t accepted this invitation.

Who still drinks with their ex?

Their worst ex.

She can feel Lapis looking at her, eyes unblinking and something on the tip of her pursed lips.

“I want you to come.”Jasper freezes and her hand stops in midair, her thoughts whirl around like they’re in a toilet bowl, around and around. And down. She turns sharply, “you what?”“I want you to come to the wedding.”Jasper’s lip curls up, “And I want a nosebleed every hour, what’s this?”

“I’m serious!” Lapis says shrilly and then takes a deep breath, “I want to put the past behind me.”“Okay,” Jasper says slowly, “that’s… cool. Inviting me to your wedding. Wow. That’s one way to do it.”“We don’t have to like each other.”“A given.”“But,” Lapis chews on her bottom lip and curls her hand up around nothing, “I want to… move on? Ya know. Not hold onto all this, fuckery.”Jasper gives a slim smile, “fuckery. Do you want strippers at your bachelorette party?”

Lapis raises her eyebrows, she shakes her head in resignation, “I take it you know a girl?”

“I know several girls!”

She rolls her eyes with an exaggerated flourish, “You don’t make this easy.”Jasper swirls her drink around and looks down to the bottom of her glass, “Well, in my defense. You made everything the hardest damn thing in the world.”They exchange a look, a curious and tentative thing, like they were waiting for something. Lapis cracks a smile, her nose wrinkles as her face breaks open, she starts laughing.

Jasper starts laughing as well, she’s not completely sure why. It felt like a dam had broken and maybe they wouldn’t all drown this time like they were kicked out of Noah’s ark early.

They laugh and Jasper holds her side, wiping at her eyes and tossing her head back. “Yes. Alright, I’ll come to your damn wedding.”Lapis shakes her head, “be good.” She snickers again.

“Will, who’s it, that woman I see you hanging around with?” She leans over, “Will she be there?”Lapis blinks, “which one?”“Short pink hair, pretty hot, like in a bird way.”Lapis leans over her drink, “You into birds now?”Jasper shrugs, “I could always use a few more scratch marks.” She winks and Lapis finishes her wine in one swig.

“I’m telling Pearl to step on your feet when we’re there.”Jasper humphs, “Yeah. You always were a great wingman.”Lapis pokes her in the shoulder, “don’t get sentimental on me.”

“I mean,” she scratches the wood of the bar table, “you were never a sweet talker.”“I could if I wanted to!” She defends with a slight hiccup.

“Oh yeah?” Jasper lifts her eyebrows, “so you don’t just make jokes and sleep all day on Peridot’s couch?”Lapis rolls her eyes, “I tell Peridot… things.” Her cheeks flare, “I’m different now.” She says softly, “I’m working on stuff.”

Jasper nods, “good.” She says gruffly, “it’s about time we all work on some shit.”

Like stop returning Homeworld’s calls, like stop going to the clubs at night, like stop messing with her brain and hanging on. Hanging on to something.Lapis reaches over and squeezes her shoulder, “and yes.” She says lowly, “I do.” She lifts her chin up, “I love her. Her weird laugh and her pointy hair and her weird obsessions with boxers and poor choices in CPH ships. I’m there for it.”

Jasper sprouts a small, almost delicate smile on her face, “Oh Lap.” She swigs the rest of her gin down in one gulp. “Maybe there’s hope for us yet. Or you at least.”Lapis snorts, “You too.” She says softly, “we’re both going to get through this, ya know?”“God,” she leans on the table, “when Lapis Lazuli is giving me a pep talk I really have hit rock bottom.”Lapis whaps her on the back of the head, “get your shit together. Come to my wedding.”Jasper leans back on the bar stool, her head lulled back and thoughts churning. She closes her eyes, “so you really love her?”“Like mold loves caves.”“K.”“And Billy Elliot loved dance.”“I get it.”“I’m gay as hell is the point. For her.”“Cheers to that.”They clink their empty glasses and Jasper thinks that maybe it really would work out, even after the world burned and they almost destroyed each other in the night.

She walks Lapis Lazuli home and watches her kiss her fiance at the door and tell her something, she’s not sure what. Jasper feels a little lighter, maybe she’d keep moving forward too.