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“Actually, It’s Sir”: An Exploration into How Physical Characteristics Do Not Always Correlate With Gender
Abstract
What does it mean to be a man or a woman? Both? Or neither? And what does all this mean for members of the transgender community? The pressure is on for trans-folk to constantly conform to their gender identity using nonverbal cues linked to their outward appearance in a relentless effort to not be misgendered. These cues can be either altering their appearances, such as cutting or growing their hair, choosing whether or not to apply makeup, or the clothing they choose to wear. Gender studies philosopher Judith Butler argues that gender is a performance; a show put on by ourselves in order to tell those around us how we choose to identify. She argues that nothing should inherently have a gender, that everything we do that is "gendered" is merely a show. This paper will explore how this isn't so cut-and-dry. Being able to not care about outward appearances is a privilege held by cisgender folk, as their trans counterparts are in a constant game of keeping up appearances, doing everything they can to nonverbally communicate their gender identity.
When I moved to the suburbs of North Texas, I wasn't sure of what types of people I would find there. Being 16 years old, my go-to was cowboys. Cowboys, with big white pickup trucks, thick surly accents, leather boots, and red baseball caps with a short phrase proudly embroidered on the front. The last kinds of people I was expecting to find were members of the LGBT+ community; more specifically, trans people. In the first few days of my junior year, I met my best friend, Teddi. Shortly after meeting Teddi, I was introduced to Eric, Teddi’s now fiancé. I found it unlikely, and albeit, unfortunate, that both of them were living in a state as red as Texas...considering the fact that they are both trans-males. They were both assigned female at birth and now live proudly as males, using He/Him pronouns and being perceived comfortably as men by those in our shared friend groups. However, there is a striking difference between both Teddi and Eric, and it lies solely within how the two of them choose to present.
Eric is your typical guy. He has short hair, wears t-shirts and jeans almost exclusively, doesn’t own or wear makeup, and wears cologne. Eric has also chosen to fully transition from female to male, with next month marking one year of being on testosterone shots, and both a top and bottom surgery date sometime in the next year or so. To any random passerby, Eric, someone who identifies as male, is seen as such. Things are not so easy for his fiance.
Teddi has chosen to take a different route. For personal reasons, Teddi has chosen not to take testosterone, has no plans for reassignment surgery in the future, and also participates in typically feminine activities. Teddi wears makeup and dresses, he loves cute cat slippers and hair bows, and can almost always be seen carrying a purse. To the general public, and to Teddi’s dismay, he is seen as female. Although he is a man, his gender performances do not reflect this to those around him. This takes a huge toll on Teddi, seeing as it is exhausting being constantly misgendered, having to correct people, or as is often the case, living with being misgendered for the convenience of others. People assume Teddi’s gender based on his outward appearance alone.
It is a privilege to be seen as the gender you identify with and is more so such a privilege when you are cisgender. Being recognized as your preferred gender identity as a cis person is known as “cisgender privilege”, or as Dr. Julia R. Johnson, a communication professor at the Southwestern University of Georgetown explains, “Cisgender privilege is given to persons whose morphology aligns with socially-sanctioned gender categories” (Johnson 138). Cisgendered individuals do not suffer through the same tribulations as their transgender peers, especially in terms of communication ability and comfortability. In a study performed of 44 transgender Canadian individuals through the means of three separate surveys, it was concluded that “the participants in this study rated higher on communication apprehension and loneliness and were less willing to communicate than broader population means” (Heinz 1). Transgender people are far more lonely, apprehensive, and socially shut away than those who are cisgender. The reports of this study recorded 14 mentions of fear of constant judgment, 16 instances of communication avoidance, and 12 instances of nonverbal distancing by the respective participants when talking to cisgender people. Participant 16 of the study was quoted as saying:
“I try to accommodate the other person. [Talking to cisgender people] causes internal anxiety. [I] may talk less, avoid people, leave social situations sooner, go outside. [I] stick to more formal topics, do not discuss personal opinions or express my true feelings.” (Heinz 9).
These instances of vigilantly remaining distant from cisgender people is a form of safety for trans people. This same study demonstrated that these feelings largely stem from the transgender participants feeling as if they owed their cisgender peers conformity. “Ten participants expressed disappointment that cisgender individuals tend to expect gender conformity” (Heinz 13). Gender conformity by trans people is commonly referred to as “passing”, or as defined by the Huffington Post, “...a transgender person’s ability to be correctly perceived as the gender they identify as and beyond that, to not be perceived as transgender” (Huffington Post). The pressure is constantly put onto trans people to pass, or else they could be met with “frequent discrimination, victimization, disrespect, and maltreatment” (Heinz 2). Trans people often feel the need to “pass” as well as they can to be respected and treated kindly by outsiders. However, the idea of passing should not be as prominent of an issue as it is for the trans community; passing is not the price to pay to be transgender. In other words, a trans person should not have to “pass” in order to be treated with basic respect and kindness. The act of passing relates directly to the way that trans people are not only communicated with but also non verbally communicated with. A trans person's behaviors are what give outsiders an idea of their gender identity.
Gender performance is largely a non-communicative act. Renowned gender studies philosopher Judith Butler was once quoted as saying “...identity is performatively constituted by the very ‘expressions’ that are said to be its results” (Butler 33). That is to say, gender is performed by an individual to the point where it becomes known as an identity, and the way that identity is expressed by the individual is the result of their actions. These actions are what inform outsiders of our gender identities. Traditional actions performed by individuals that can imply one’s identity include body smell, clothing, and worn artifacts. However, actions alone do not inform others of our gender identities, as other factors can be those by which we cannot help. These factors are often biological and include one’s body hair, pheromones, and height. All of these components to a performed identity are gendered. \
Body smell is not one of the most prominent identifying factors when it comes to determining one’s gender, but it certainly plays a role. Our bodies all produce a natural scent called pheromones, which give us our natural scents. Those born with XX chromosomes and those born with XY chromosomes produce distinctly different pheromone scents. Without even noticing it, the way people’s pheromones smell affects the way we feel about people. Men attracted to other men have been recorded to enjoy male pheromones far more than women’s, and women who are attracted to other women seemed to prefer female pheromones to a male’s. However, as noted by Knapp and Hall, authors of our class’ textbook, “...the so-called natural scent seems to have a low priority in our cultural development, but we are not at all reluctant to buy a commercial product that will purportedly make us smell natural or sexy” (Knapp & Hall 180). Musky, earthy scents for cologne are marketed towards a male audience, while floral or sweet perfumes are targeted at women. These scents are artificial, but the way we identify affects our purchases of such scents. Transgender men will tend to steer away from fruity perfumes and strive to smell musky in an attempt to be more masculine.
The way we choose to dress, on the other hand, is one of the most defining factors of our gender identity to those around us. Our clothing and artifacts provide multiple functions, such as decoration, concealment, and most importantly, group identification and status/role display. It is important to note that “...any given item of clothing can be worn in such a way as to convey multiple meanings” (Knapp & Hall 190), but much more often than not, any article of clothing is a way to communicate gender identity. Of course, it is almost unfair to designate certain pieces of clothing to different gender identities. Men can wear dresses and women can wear jeans, men can have earrings and women can have tattoos; it isn’t inherently wrong for either to do so. However, this isn’t a reality for trans individuals. A male doesn’t have the luxury of choosing to wear makeup and dresses without being either misgendered or having his identity taken into question. If a trans-male wants to be seen as a man, they almost have to wear masculine clothing. While clothing may not be inherently gendered, trans people are far more pressured to use it in order to perform their gender identity.
While wearing cologne, earrings, or dresses are choices, not every aspect of gender performance is up to the individual. Factors like body hair and height are gender identifiers and cannot be helped in most cases.
While some types of body hair can be altered in order to communicate gender, such as hair length, other kinds such as leg or arm hair cannot be as easily changed. Of course, the length of one’s hair is a clear identifier for gender performance. It is commonly known that men typically have short hair while women have long hair. But again, trans people are not provided the luxury of choice in these matters. In order to pass, hair length must be taken into account. A trans-female might be hesitant to cut her hair short in fear of being misgendered. On that same note, a trans-female who is just starting to transition must wait for her hair to grow long, and while doing so, risks being misgendered until her hair is long enough for the general public to recognize it as a “feminine” length.
Types of body hair that can prove unruly for most are leg, arm, facial, and armpit hair. All of these types of body hair must be accounted for by trans individuals. Trans-females might have a harder time shaving their arms, legs, and armpits, as their natural XY chromosomes produce thicker body hair than those with XX chromosomes. Trans-females also must keep their natural facial hair kept for these same reasons. As for trans-males, they might feel dysphoric since they are unable to produce facial hair. Facial hair is almost crucial when it comes to being seen as a man. According to our textbook, “...men sport more facial hair when they want to be more attractive” (Knapp and Hall 184). Unfortunately for those with XX chromosomes, growing facial hair is near impossible without altering testosterone levels in the body. Again, while it is not inherent to one’s gender that their body hair must look a certain way, trans individuals must constantly keep up with the way that their body hair is presented in order to avoid being misgendered and to feel comfortable in their bodies.
A gendered aspect of our bodies that can almost not be altered in any way is our natural height. Those with XY chromosomes are naturally taller, while those with XX chromosomes typically fall shorter. Our height plays a huge role in our general attractiveness. According to our textbook, “Taller men are frequently perceived as more attractive than shorter men” (Knapp & Hall 176). Being tall is often not a reality for trans-men since it is common for their natural heights to be shorter than those of cis-men. Being shorter than the average cis-man can lead to dysphoria in trans-men. Similarly, trans-females face a similar issue with their height, since their genetic makeup commonly makes them taller. According to Medical News Today, the average woman falls around 5 feet 4 inches. It is a common issue for trans-females to be taller than that, and this too can lead to dysphoria for trans women. They might not be able to participate in feminine performance acts because of it, such as wearing heels or being seen as “cute” due to their stature.
Again, none of these components are inherently linked to any one gender role. Gender is not implicit in any one of us. As Judith Butler wrote in one of her many essays, Performative Acts and Gender Constitution, “...gender is not a fact, the various acts of gender creates the idea of gender, and without those acts, there would be no gender” (Butler 522). Gender is far more a non-communicative act more than it is anything else. Gender is the way we perceive ourselves in our every day lives in such a way that it becomes the way we desire those around us to see us. “The act that one does, the act that one performs, is, in a sense, an act that has been going on before one arrived on the scene. Hence, gender is an act which has been rehearsed, much as a script survives the particular actors who make use of it” (Butler 526). Gender is, simply put, a display of one’s inner self, a portrayal to others of how they feel about themselves. However, due to the state of our current society, it is only socially acceptable to identify as either female or male. For transgender individuals, the burden of conforming to either identity is exhausting, making sure to obey the gender norms of their preferred identity. The fact of the matter is, there should be no “assuming” of any one’s person’s identity at all. You will never truly know someone’s gender identity until they tell you. A change starts with no longer assuming someone’s gender identity based solely on their outward appearance and the nonverbal cues such appearances give off. Rather, it is imperative that we make only educated guesses in an attempt to make those around us more comfortable. If there ever comes a day where the person in the grocery store with long hair, a dress, and floral perfume tells us, “Actually, it’s sir”, we must always be prepared to correct ourselves.
References
Butler, J. (1999). Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge.
Butler, J. (1988). Performative Acts and Gender Constitution: An Essay in Phenomenology and Feminist Theory. The John Hopkins University Press, 40(4), 522–526. Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/stable/3207893
Dr. Julia R. Johnson (2013) Cisgender Privilege, Intersectionality, and the Criminalization of CeCe McDonald: Why Intercultural Communication Needs Transgender Studies, Journal of International and Intercultural Communication, 6:2, 135-144, DOI: 10.1080/17513057.2013.776094
Heinz, M. (2018). Communicating While Transgender: Apprehension, Loneliness, and Willingness to Communicate in a Canadian Sample. Sage Open, 2–13. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/2158244018777780
What Does "passing" Mean Within the Transgender Community?
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Tres Marias #superlatepost #12012019 P.S. Mithyuuu, Ate @pejcapades See you after ECQ! https://www.instagram.com/p/B-lstv6gKo8OePelwfu9sFYiFQVdKBt5_IwTJc0/?igshid=1kw4at4vx5bsm