#12.23.13

Aiyah hang out with mah APO pa and pbros, Billy and Lily ! Went thrift shopping for the first time le gasp ! It was actually pretty fun. I got 2 books which Lily paid for so I owe her $2 which she didn't have to spend on me !! Then afterwards, we went to go eat at Shin Sen Gumi which was major bomb wohh Introduced takoyaki to Billy and he said it was actually pretty good haha no durrr !! My favorite thing ever besides okonomiyaki which I have been craving since forever TTATT 

I also had Milk for the very first time today too ! It's some kind of dessert place. I really wanted to try their cookies n' cream macaroon thing but they ran out bummer !! Instead, I ordered their chocolate/vanilla brownie dessert thing and it was so delicious I wanted a second one haha I shared it with Billy since he paid for my food so many times before. I really owe this guy a lot. Thanks for being such an amazing friend ^___^K Oh and we also shared a lot of weird dreams and embarrassing moments while we were there haha

We spent a long time in traffic but it was great spending it with each other. I'm so grateful for the friends I made and I want to keep them with me forever ! I had the most amazing day conquering many firsts for me >:3c

I can't stop thinking about it now.... it's been a week and I just.... I just want things to keep on going but what is it that I want? I'm not even sure.... or am I? What does my heart tell me I want? My heart is telling me to go with this, that I still have feelings for you and I still want you just as much as I wanted you then. My heart is telling me that I still like you, that it still beats for you, that it still skips that extra beat every time I see you and every time you smile and look at me and sometimes I just can't take this... I'm not sure what to do. Do I go with the heart or the mind? The age old question that nobody can answer. My mind tells me this isn't going to work. Since when did second chances ever work? I would have no regrets giving you that second chance but who's to say that the same story won't happen all over again and would I even want that? Few more months of us? You definitely met someone in Korea, of that I'm sure.... but what does that mean? You broke up with me. That I know. You decided this relationship wasn't worth it and you decided to go after that girl that you met.... and now what? Did it not work out and you're coming back to me? Or did you realize that you liked me all along? What is it that you were thinking as you took my chin and kissed me? I really want to know but do I ask in person or do I ask through a phone call? Which would be better? I want to ask in person because that would definitely mean I can at least see your face... know what you want from me, see how you feel maybe... while a phone call is definitely not as personal.... sigh I don't know what to do.... waiting until I can see you is just so hard.... sigh... these thoughts are going to be staying for a while aren't they?