#12.2.18

"Suburban Reality"

When he yells at you, ask him to stop. When he shakes his hands in your face, don’t move or he will slap you. When he pushes you, tell him it hurts. When he doesn’t stop, find a way out. When he blocks the door, find a way out. When the police come, remember this is not the first time he has chosen his anger over you. Breathe.

When he goes to jail, don’t try to bail him out. When you want him back, remember this is not the first time he has chosen his anger over you. When he starts dating, let him go. When he takes your things, let them go. Breathe.

When the night terrors begin, remember he is not there. Buy pepper spray & change the locks. When the loneliness hits at night, watch animated movies, fill your bed with blankets & pillows, remember you are better off alone. Breathe.

When it hurts, cut the ties. Cancel the utilities. Close the bank account. Get your name off the lease. Block him. Take off your rings. File for divorce. Remember this is not the first time he has chosen his anger over you. Breathe.

When you don’t know how to survive, Drink water. Eat something. Put on some clothes & stumble into the living room. Do some laundry. Unpack your life. Ask for help. Breathe.

His anger does not define you. His lack of love does not make you unlovable. His violence does not diminish your worth. When you forget, stand tall & remember, what he did was about his character, not yours. When people try to deceive you, remember this is not the first time he has chosen his anger over you.

Breathe.

Takkun (12/2/18)