Bleach: Zaraki Kenpachi having a chunky baby
a/n.a shinigami,drinking her tea: ah,yes my beautiful chunky baby (looks out the window).....and ah yess....my chaotic husband who thinks my child is a soldier at 5 months old....
Main Masterlist @shayinstarlight୨୧ | ©shayinstarlight
The baby is built like a tiny tank
Kenpachi loves that the baby is chunky.
Those thick thighs, arm rolls, and big cheeks? To him that means “strong kid.”
He’ll hold the baby up with one arm and grin.
"Heh. Look at those arms. Kid’s gonna hit hard someday."
If someone suggests the baby should eat less, Kenpachi immediately shuts that down. "What? You want my kid weak?"
“Training” Starts Way Too Early
Kenpachi treats the baby like a future warrior from day one.
Lifts them into the air like a weight.
Lets them grab his finger and praises their grip strength. "Good grip! Try harder!"
Meanwhile the baby is just drooling and giggling.
Drapes his arm over the baby and excepts the baby to raise it off them ''...Hey hello,you have to do something-there is no time for slacking!''
I dont really include it but in the first few seasons he had bells in his hair-they baby loves it.
They grab them constantly.
Pull them.
Shake them.
The bells jingle and the baby laughs hysterically.
Kenpachi just laughs too. "Oi, you like that sound huh?"
Feeding Time Is Chaos
Raw,Pure,Non touched chaos
Kenpachi has zero baby-feeding technique.
Milk on the baby’s face.
Food everywhere.
The baby grabbing the spoon and smacking it around.
Yet somehow the baby ends up extra full and happy.
And Kenpachi is proud.
"See? Easy."
''Captain you missed their mouth'' Zaraki: (bombastic side eye intesifies)
Yachiru Is the Babysitter
Yachiru Kusajishi is obsessed with the chunky baby.
She squeezes the baby’s cheeks constantly. "Squishy baby!!"
The baby absolutely loves her and laughs every time she appears.
The 11th Division basically becomes one giant chaotic daycare.
Kenpachi Gets Competitive
If the baby starts crawling toward someone else?
Kenpachi gets weirdly competitive.
Baby crawls to another Shinigami.
Kenpachi crouches down across the room. "Oi. Over here."
The baby immediately waddles toward him.
He smirks like he just won a fight.
When the baby falls asleep on his shoulder…
Kenpachi goes completely still.
No shouting. No fighting. No movement.
Anyone who wakes the baby?
The entire division knows they’re finished.
The Baby Tries His Food
As the baby grows a little older, they start grabbing food off Kenpachi’s plate.
Huge mistake.
Because now the baby loves:
Meat
Rice
Anything Kenpachi eats
And the baby gets even chunkier.
Kenpachi proudly declares: "That’s my kid."
Kenpachi normally laughs at danger.
But if someone scares the baby?
The atmosphere changes instantly.
His spiritual pressure spikes and the entire room freezes. "You made the kid cry."
No one ever makes that mistake twice.
Kenpachi does not use a normal baby carrier.
No.
He literally ties the baby to his chest or back with a cloth like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Big chunky baby
Little legs dangling
Tiny drool stain on Kenpachi’s haori
And Kenpachi walks around the barracks like nothing is unusual. "Oi. What’re you staring at?"
Yumichika nearly faints.
"Captain Zaraki!! That is NOT an elegant childcare arrangement!"
Kenpachi just shrugs. "Kid wanted to come."
Ikkaku Tries to Be Respectful… and Fails
Ikkaku is trying very hard not to laugh.
He salutes seriously. "Captain."
But the baby suddenly punches Kenpachi’s chest with their chunky little fist.
Kenpachi laughs.
"Good hit!"
Ikkaku immediately loses it and starts laughing.
Yumichika is horrified. "THIS IS NOT FUNNY!"
The chunky baby is completely happy strapped to Kenpachi.
Watching everything
Grabbing his hair bells
Occasionally bonking his shoulder
Sometimes the baby just naps there while Kenpachi walks around.
Their cheek squished against his chest.
Kenpachi does not slow down.
At all.
He’ll be walking through the training yard with the baby tied to his back.
Soldiers fighting around him.
The baby bouncing gently with each step.
Yumichika screaming from the sidelines. "YOU CANNOT BRING A BABY INTO A TRAINING GROUND!"
Kenpachi: "Kid’s fine."
One day the baby suddenly slaps Kenpachi’s cheek.
Everyone freezes.
Kenpachi pauses…
Then bursts out laughing. "HA! Good one!"
The baby laughs too.
Its one big bag happy chaos in the 11th division
©shayinstarlight | 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 ©𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐊𝐮𝐛𝐨 | 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡
