#10:02

Ben dağları ,taşları ,gölleri, obaları aşıp derse geliyorum kadın yarım saat geç geliyor ve hâlâ gelmedi ..

i need to get up. if i don't get up im fucked. i need to look pretty. if i don't look pretty the world is going to bully me.

The shift I've just put down. Worst in my career. I've come home and bawled, also cried in front of my managers

what is it all for? furlong wondered. the work and the constant worry. getting up in the dark and going to the yard, making the deliveries, one after another, the whole day long, then coming home in the dark and trying to wash the black off himself and sitting into a dinner at the table and falling asleep before waking in the dark to meet a version of the same thing, yet again. might things never change or develop into something else, or new? lately he had begun to wonder what mattered, apart from eileen and the girls. he was touching forty but didn’t feel himself to be getting anywhere or making any kind of headway and could not but sometimes wonder what the days were for.