#10192023

i saw something she might like

it’s only natural instinct

i wouldn’t feel as weird if we hadn’t kissed

i feel like such a dumbass sometimes

i don’t think i was as self conscious with you

i won’t hit her up again until maybe next week

even thought after that she’ll be gone

did you see csh made a new live album?

you can finally listen to the version of crows that you fell in love with

recorded on the very night we were there

i should’ve made you go to that third show

even though i’m pretty sure you resented me for the first two

but those were some of the happiest moments of my life

i listened to bodys yesterday and tried to ignore my stomach ripping apart

it’s my song but i shared it with you

you played it whenever i said to throw something on

in some ways we were those awkward kids

who didn’t know how to dance

now i’m a washed up young adult who’s dependent on weed to get through the day

i’ve been smoking every single day

i hope to stop in november

but it’s hard when i keep picturing our last moments on that balcony sharing cigs

and at least i’m feeling something

as opposed to nothing

i feel a void of emotion - all negative if at all

it’s not sadness it’s something far bleaker

nothing

barely any hope

just the notion that i have to continue somehow