#100pluschapters

"Hey, Cammie."

"Hey." I huff.

She giggles. "Okay then bye."

She doesn't actually hang up. Instead she smiles at the camera then sits it down. She carefully props it up so that I could see Trey fumbling through the clothes. Some lady comes up holding a shirt. He turns back to what he is doing. She brings him something else. He holds it up then holds it out to CiCi who folds it across her arm. Okay, I'm done with this. I hang up. That was boring as shit.

"Hey, Bay." Sevyn says walking in. "Let's walk downstairs."

"I only have a few minutes."

She gestures to me to follow her. I remove my top shirt and replace it with the one I wear downstairs. I've been doing this so much I have a routine now. I even know everyone that works in the café. I'm super glad no one is stunting me.

"Hey, Cammie." someone says excited.

"Um, hey." I say catching up with Sevyn.

Amber looks at me and smile. "What are you thinking about?"

"Like I seriously hate this life."

"Why?" she says stopping in front of a door.

I pause when she starts to enter the room. "Cause... Why we going in here?"

She grabs my hand. "You have an amazing life, Bae. Listen, in a few weeks, you will be home with your perfect family and you will be saying it all different. Trust me."

"Yeah." I shrug looking around the room. "What is this?"

"Something Trey setup." April says smiling extra hard.

"Oh." I say numb.

April touches my hand. "Just say hey and leave if you want. They understand."

The room was filled with roses and only a few people. I feel so nervous for some reason. I mean that maybe what I feel. I just know the numbness is greater than anything. MiMi comes up to me.

"Stop acting like my breast stank." she whines checking herself.

"I meant to tell you MiMi." Sevyn whispers moving her from me. "We have food. Please say you already ate so I can eat the fruit by myself."

I take a shallow deep breath. "Hey, everyone."

It's MiMi, Sevyn, Hidia, Leah, April, and Teyanna. Teyanna looks up from her phone when I speak. She comes over to me then smiles.

"I'm reposting some of your pictures as relationship goals."

"What picture?"

She smiles. "Bitches came all the way to my snap to hate."

I take her phone. "Pictures of me?"

"Oh." she says grabbing the phone back. "Your husband breaking hearts on Twitter, SnapChat, everything. Here is him and Lane on Snapchat making breakfast. Then it's videos of you guys fighting over the camera. So cute. What I love is the Instagram panel of your face. Takes up the whole screen."

"What is that man's problem?" I say.

"Well he explained minutes before blowing everything up with your face."

I watch the video of him singing. He stops then starts talking about how he missed me. I have never know Trey to be so open about anything. He is trying to prove a point with this. I've always been here and there on his page. It's his page. Not really much about me. Now he goes and puts my face all over his page.

"Damn, did he cheat on me?"

"Why would you think that first?" MiMi says. "He misses you."

I go to the buffet table. "MiMi shut up with that Yana save my life bullshit."

MiMi kisses my cheek. "Anyway, how is the man upstairs?"

"God? Oh he cool."

"I hate you." MiMi snaps walking away.

I turn to them. "Y'all I swear I don't feel like being happy. I'm glad y'all love me."

"Yeah, we know you Cammie." Hidia says. "I'm just glad I was included cause like damn I get left out of everything like I don't stay in Atlanta."

"Awh, boohoo." MiMi says.

Hidia laughs. "Damn, I was convinced."

April hugs me. "How is the baby doing this morning? I've been trying to give you your space. I know those nurses are already annoying."

"I mean for real. Like I have to get permission to touch my baby. I don't." I say eating a banana. "Well, I'm going back upstairs."

"Girl, you make me scared to be doing this all over after so many years."

I glance at Leah. Why was that needed? "Don't let me be your guide."

April moves towards the door. "I'll walk you back upstairs."

"Yes, before I lose my support with this cloud of sorrow."

"I love you, Bae." Teyanna says. "Can I come see the baby?"

I turn around and smile. "Yes, of course. Come see him."

"Caden what?"

"Caden Elijah." I smile.

Leah frowns. "I saw the little bundle this morning for the first time. I cried so hard for so long. He is so precious. I can't take it. I'm ready for you to be busy and need a quick sitter."

"Leah, she is married. No quickies." MiMi snaps.

"Love you." Amber says.

April and I leave. "I'm glad you came down."

"I'm so gloomy right now. Leah was making me mad with her drama."

"I know. She is pregnant you and I both know she meant no harm."

I roll my eyes. "All of them wanted me to feel good about this. I can't. I can't even get around thinking he done something negative. I'm screwed up."

"With reason."

"April."

"I'm trying to be supportive, damn it."

I giggle. "Oh, yes, continue."

All she does is smile at me. April has been very supportive. I hate that I'm so attached from everyone. It seems like no one truly understands how I feel. My youngest baby boy is stuck in the hospital with tubes everywhere that I know are uncomfortable. My oldest is thousands of miles away with my love. Nothing is going my way.

  Chris

"Hey, Chrissy." Sevyn says.

"Amber Ass."

She giggles. "I know my ass brown thanks."

I lay back on the bed. "Things are fucked up around here."

"Are they? Trey seems to be fine."

"And when did you figure this out when he talking to Cammie, the person that fucking makes everything gold? How many times you been pissed off and Cammie makes it all good by smiling at you? Anyway, shit not all good."

Sevyn makes a sad face. "Yeah, and Cammie going through a lot. The baby is doing better. Gaining weight."

"I thought I was ready for a baby but the shit is no walk in the park."

"No, it's not."

She gets extremely silent. We stare at each other saying anything. I initially came to Europe to help out. Now I see that the only thing good for Trey is to get back to the other half of his family. He has Lane here which will really help him.

"We went out last night. I won't do that again."

"What do you mean?"

I sigh. "Well, Trey... Don't worry about."

"What happened?"

"Nothing." I say looking away.

I shouldn't have started that statement. The problem is that Trey is too stressed to be in the company of pretty available women. I didn't like how friendly he was being with them. I believe that the night could have possibly ended with him and so random girl. I could tell he wanted freedom from all of this. Maybe a night where he no longer had the responsibility of a family on top of everything. I started acting drunk and making him mad. Eventually we left the club where I instantly sobered up but I started talking about Lane and how he waiting up for us, which is true. He knows Trey was gone.

"Christopher!"

"Hmm?" I say focusing on her.

"You got to tell me."

I lie too easily. "Trey has been having a bad attitude. Almost fought this person. Plus Lane was up waiting for him."

It's not my place to put that burden on her. She shouldn't have to hide that. It's more understandable for a man to hide a man's secrets. Trey wouldn't ever forgive me if I fucked up his marriage. I wouldn't forgive myself.

"Aye, I danced with this big booty hoe." I say to Sevyn.

"I kissed this big booty joe."

I laugh. "Sound like a faggot."

She rolls her eyes. "Trey setup this small dinner for Cammie. We expected her to reject the idea but it was so fucking hard to actually witness. I wanted to reach out and take all her pain away. It's like she is blanked by grief."

"Yeah, I heard from Trey."

"Is that why he blowing up the internet with her?"

I shrug. "I missed that."

"It's all over his Instagram and everything. Cammie feels like he did it just because he cheating on her."

"Why would she think that?" I say freaking out on the inside.

Sevyn shrugs. "She is fragile. She could think anything."

I breathe deeply. "She should voice it to him."

"No, she shouldn't." Sevyn snaps. "She gets a little happy when she talks to him. There is no need to bring in frustration. Imma go talk to her. Call me back in a little while."

"Don't hang up."

She stares at the phone. "What?"

I sit up. "How are you doing? Trey and Cammie aren't the only ones in the world."

"I'm going good." She smiles.

"What are we doing after Trey returns to America?"

"Going to Florida right? I ordered this cute new bathing suit."

"Where we going we gonna be swimming naked."

She giggles. "It's that secluded?"

I nod. "We haven't done something together in a while. I got a lot of stuff planned."

"Chris, I really think you grew a lot. I hate so many people had to deal with the other you. I like the improvement."

"Thanks." I say smiling more on the inside.

"I'm being serious though. I know I got issues and all so I don't know where this will end up but I'm glad we tried... Trying it."

I raise my eyebrows. "I am too."

"Trey only has 4 days."

"That's it?"

She nods. "Yeah."

The room door opens. "Aye, these bitches... You on the phone?"

"Go ahead." Sevyn says kissing at me. "Call me back."

"Nope." I say looking at him.

He stands there silent then kicks back into monster mode. "They want me to close the show instead of it going like it was. So I will only be on stage for 2 songs. One of which is me and Nicki song. They got me fucked if they think I'm doing that shit."

"The fuck?"

"Exactly." he retorts. "They supposed to be bringing in some fucking British brat in. I ain't getting pushed back."

I stand up. "Aye, look. I know you committed to this and everything but you not needed here."

"What?"

"Go home before you fuck something up."

He gives me a cold look. "Let these bitches win by running home. Fuck no."

I didn't want the anger turned on me. "So what you want? Go on stage anyway at your time?"

"I'm thinking that. Let them ruin the show by taking me off."

"Fuck them."

He stares at me. I stand there looking back at him. I gave him the best way out of the shit. I'm going to keep thinking of other ways to get this man home tomorrow. I'm going to come up with something. But for this moment it's me and him against them. Lane neutralizes the rage of Trey by entering the room. He was carrying some index cards.

"That say Daddy?"

"Jump."

Lane shuffle the cards in his little hand. "That say?"

"Could."

"That say, Chris?" Lane says walking to me. "No, say that. That say?"

I chuckle. "Purple."

Lane hands me the card. "I not like purple. You like purple?"

"Yeah."

"That say?"

"Apple. A."

He flips the card over. "It red, Chris?"

"Yes."

Trey walks out of the room. I follow. He is picking up the cards that Lane had scattered around the floor. Lane runs in the room to help him. I pick the ones up by my feet. That little boy is saving Trey right now. Lane makes him laugh. He grabs him and tickle him messing all the cards up again.

"Damn it." Lane says looking at the pile. "All my words."

"Son." Trey says then laughs.

She looks around the room. "Caden is the same weight that he was the day before yesterday."

"So what?"

"He is slowly gaining weight."

I smile. "You did that."

She smiles harder. "He slept for a long time last night. Everyone was gathering around and kept checking his machines. They didn't know why he wasn't waking up to eat. I believe it was a whole 8 hours of constant unresponsive sleep. He didn't want to be bothered."

"Poor little man wanted you. What is he doing right now?"

"Sleep. He kinda waking up every 2 hours. Last time he only slept for 30 minutes and he was hungry again. My boobs hurting." she says looking down. "Wanna see them? They're all swollen."

I chuckle. "Of course I want to see em."

She lowers the camera on her chest. "He is only eating a little bit and they are producing too much milk. I have been pumping and storing. The lady down the hall has also been using some of my milk."

"What?"

"Yeah." she nods. "She can't produce any milk for some reason. Not my business."

"You should be selling it then."

She laughs. "No, Tremaine."

I smile. "Cam Milk. High quality unfiltered. Or unpasteurized."

"You in a good mood this morning."

"I swear to you I wasn't before I talked to you. Nicki's team is pissing me off. I may not highlight the show but I ain't about to get treated like a roadie."

She sucks her teeth. "I hate her manager. Nicki don't even act like they portray her when she not around."

"So you know?"

"I did a video with her. I told her never again until she under new management. She knows cause we still cool after all that."

I look at her titties. "You need a bigger shirt."

"I want Caden to feel as much as me as possible." she smiles.

"I need to feel a little bit of you."

She has the most uplifting smile. "I belong to Caden plus you can't touch me for about two years."

"2? Huh?"

"Not having kids for a while."

I yawn. "I don't know. I want a girl."

"Not now!"

"Did I tell you about the doula?"

"No, Maine. What about the doula?"

"One came by with a baby and diapers and shit. I had to practice holding it, burping it, and changing the diaper. Next I have to attend this black fathering meeting. I don't know if that's in the states or not."

She laughs. "Sounds like some American shit. Was the baby real?"

"No. It was tiny and felt real. She also got Lane involved. He told her that the baby wasn't real so it doesn't poop. He also tried to give it CPR."

"CPR?"

I nod. "Yes. I don't know. He pushed its chest and started counting."

Cammie laughs really hard. "Don't make me cry. He did not do that."

"Ask Buggiz. He crazy, Jay."

"That's your son. He learned that somewhere."

I shrug. "I couldn't tell you where. Chris says he coming to Europe in a few days. I tried to convince him to chill at home and out of trouble. He never listens."

"His dumbass. He sent me a dead flower talking about RIP to your insides."

"The fuck?"

She rolls her eyes. "I thought the same until I realized the flower was chocolate under the fake flower pedals."

"Stupid ass joke."

"It is."

She turns the camera so I could see the baby stretching his skinny legs out. He starts moving his hands in erratic motions working up a cry. But the only thing comes out is a little sound. He dramatic for no reason. He kicks his feet a little more than makes his arrival to the woke world noticeable. He yells louder this time. Cammie sits the phone down on something.

"You think you mad now." she says. "Wait til you no longer have this perfectly quiet sleeping area. Then what little guy?"

"He stopped with that tiny cry."

Cammie picks up the phone and shows me him breastfeeding. "He is too busy to do all of that."

"I'm hating."

Cammie laughs. "This won't be yours for another 5 months. He is 3 weeks old."

"Is he?"

"He was a week when you left. You have been gone for 2 weeks and a couple days."

I shake my head. "That's a long time of no titty action. Me and Caden will talk."

Cammie smiles. "Not about me you won't. Where is my first born?"

"With Forrest."

"Caden's little stomach barely had anything." Cammie says. "He is sleep once again."

I close my eyes. "He do..."

"Tremaine, I love you."

"Love you too."

"Just falling asleep on the phone." I hear Cammie say.

I try to open my eyes but my body was refusing to be woken. I just let myself fall asleep thinking about Cammie.

  Alex

"Hey, Cammie."

"Hey."

I flip through the pages of the search results. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"As good as expected I reckon."

"Right." I stand up from the computer. "This is like a business call so Imma get to it cause... I just can't turn it off when it's business. I got a block on your name and any mention of your name on any of those popular blogs. I know a lot of shit has been in the news about your sudden disappearance from the social world and Trey's partying in Europe."

"Partying?"

I look out of the large living room window. "Allegedly. They're blogs for God's sake. I just figured you rather not see the bullshit."

She sucks her teeth. "I supposed to have a person for that. So what's the business aspect of this conversation?"

"Oh that's the business."

It gets quiet for a few seconds. "So... What's going on with you that got you so bored you want to care about someone else?"

"I would be offended if you weren't a bitch."

"Hidia told me about your man problems. You stopped acting mighty yet?"

"When will I ever?" I laugh. "How is the baby?"

"He is improving."

I sigh. "You know if you need representation..."

She giggles. "I won't be calling family for it. Just kidding. I don't know how you would be able to handle Trey and his business side. His mother has someone that is familiar with his anal ass so I think that would be better."

"Is he that bad?"

"Yes." she says.

Someone knocks at my door. I look towards it like I could see who it is. I grab my house coat that barely can be called clothing.

"Someone's at my door. I'll talk to you another time." I say.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

We hang up the phone with that. I saw something in my email from her ex. That's what got me intrigued. I could have cared less before that. Like I stated I'm not about to watch my family get drag for no apparent reason. Keem needs to realize that she moved on completely and I'm not on his side.

"Why would you open the door like that?" Jamaal says walking in the house with his eyes on me.

"Cause I knew you were coming." I say sarcastically.

He hands me a small box. "I would have preferred nothing interrupting my view if it were for me."

"I'll remember that next time I invite you to my house."

"I wanted to thank you for saving me."

"Your father must not have been in your life as a kid. Poor thang. No wonder you so sissified."

He gets mad. "My father is the same as my mother. Fuck you, Alex."

I open the small box. I close the box then open it again. I have this collection of odd shaped raw pearls that sit in a clam shell on my fireplace. Jamaal gave me a big pearl that has no shape what so ever. It was also the biggest that I own. I sit it in the clam shell. It stands out from the rest because of its shape, size, and color. Unlike the ones I have this one is from the ocean. It isn't pure white. It's imperfect and I love it.

"Thank you."

"I won the bet." he says.

I turn to look at him. "You did not. She said how she was going to use my ideas. She also said that someone from her team was going to connect me about a conference like I setup for my father. You saw how impressed she was after she found out I was behind his image."

"She still didn't sign you."

I turn to the pearl. "Where did you get this from?"

"A place. A place where humans exist. A place not underwater. Currently."

"Shut up."

Jamaal touches me. I jump a bit from being startled. It was unexpected and definitely unwelcome. He had put his hands on my waist. For a second or two longer I contemplate whether or not I actually wanted him touching me. The thought wasn't what he was touching me for. Cause, you know, I'm fucking irresistible. When you add sexy lingerie and a sheer housecoat it's obvious what he is thinking. I take his hands off of me.

"So you give me a pearl and think it's open season?" I say turning around.

Of course he is still right there in my face. His rapidly moving eyes never actually reach my face though. The fact that he doesn't say anything makes it a bit awkward. Leaves me to my thoughts of what exactly it would be like to fuck him sober.

"Okay." I say moving him back. "Stand over there if you just gonna stare."

He grabs my wrist as I'm dropping it back to my side. Am I gonna have to reject this man's weak as advances until he decides to give up and accept defeat? I go to remove my hand from his grip but he tightens it then pull me to him. My body crashes into his like a rubber recoiling after being stretched. It throws me off enough for him to make his advances more than that of a college boy. He kisses me with one hand on my ass and the other on my back. Momentarily I forgot that it was Jamaal. He moves his hand towards my pussy and that sudden realization that it's Jamaal fades away yet again. It's fucking irrelevant that it's Jamaal. I don't give a fuck.

"No, my pictures." I say as my back touches the wall.

"What?"

I point to the painting that hang down like a blanket on the wall. It was literally inches away from me and too fucking expensive to be torn off the wall. Jamaal stares at the picture. When I turn my head to glance at it he sudden lifts me up in the air. I'm dropped, tossed, or placed onto the couch. Either way I want to imagine it, I land on the couch. Jamaal touches my body then starts kissing my breast. I'm not really a 4 play type of person but I let him do whatever he wants. Maybe he so wrapped up in my body he has to kiss it. I chuckle to myself. How fucking swallow of me? He takes his shirt off displaying his tight lean body.

"Oh please put that back on." I say.

"You jealous because my body looks better than this." he says looking down at my body. He slides my panties off.

"Im convinced."

He rubs his hand on my clitoris. I close my eyes. I fucking love to be touched. My pussy fucking loves anything that brushes up against it in the right way. Whether it's my thighs or someone else's body. I open my eyes as Jamaal kisses my clit. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with him kissing my pussy. It's just do that on your own time. I like friction. No slow as kiss or whatever else. He smiles really big when I move him back.

"I was waiting." he says positioning his hips between my legs.

"Waiting on what?" I snap.

He rams his full size into me all at once. No worrying or warm up. Just 9 fucking inches of dick rammed into my pussy. I couldn't scream. As I could do was breath. He doesn't pause after that, he does it again.

"I know you don't like all that 4 play." he says.

I had the perfect comeback but it irrelevant in seconds. Only thing I wanted to say is, damn Jamaal knows how to fuck. But I'm not saying that. Fuck. I'll lose a thousand arguments tight now, if he continues to talk shit. He has the fucking right at this moment. I can't argue with the way he is fucking me. I sit up suddenly remembering what I was doing. I push him off of me.

"My fucking father is on his way here."

"You walking around naked with your father on the way? Why are you thinking about your father?"

Why was I suddenly thinking about my father? We both freeze and look towards the door. Oh, I heard the garage. He is bringing my car back that he drove to his meeting after his driver got sick. Jamaal picks up his clothes. I go into my bedroom. Damn. I throw a bra on then a tshirt that was 4 sizes too big for me. I walk into the living room. My father is coming through the kitchen.

"Once again you left your mailbox open with mail in it." he says flipping through it.

"Why are you looking through it?" I snap.

Jamaal walks out of the bathroom. "Old dude."

My father looks up. "Jamaal? That's awfully strange."

"Me using the bathroom?" he says pointing behind him.

"Yeah, sure." my father says. "I've avoided your mother enough."

I peek into the kitchen. "Where is my food?"

"You were serious about the food?" he says shocked.

"I reminded you several times. Leave my house." I say falling back on the couch.

He kisses my cheek. "I'll have the driver go get it and bring it back by."

I push him away from me with my foot. "I don't want it anymore. Go home to your wife."

"You sure? I'm going to go get it."

"Don't!"

He makes a sad face. "Okay, good night. Jamaal."

"Good night." I say.

"Where is my little split pea?" my father asks looking around.

"With my mother and father for the weekend."

"Good night." my father says again.

I'm pissed about my food but partially satisfied. "Did I not say good night?"

My father smiles. "Did you, dear?"

"Dad."

"Okay, okay." he says leaving out of the front door. He comes back in and lock the door. "You never lock this door."

"Good night!"

"Love you." he yells back shutting the door.

I blow. I had got distracted staring out the window after talking to my father about him bringing the car back. Then I got distracted by Jamaal and his dick. Good thing that garage often gets jammed and makes a lot of noise getting back on track. I was going to get it fixed but it saved me a lot of embarrassment.

"It's not even night." Jamaal says.

"You still there?" I look around the room for him.

He walks around the couch standing in front of me. His fucking smell made my pussy wet. This can be a bad thing. Good dick rules everything in my life. He may have that little girl and an unusual relationship with my father but it just might not be enough to disqualify him with a stroke like that. I put my foot on his chest and back him up from me. He eyes drop to my pussy. I wasn't trying to show it to him. I was simply telling him to back the hell up. He touches my leg gently. I smirk then stand up. I lean in his face.

"Want me to show you how good I am at using my strap on?"

"You had me for about 1 millisecond." he says then laughs. "The fuck?"

I laugh. "So for a millisecond you were my bitch."

He pushes me back on the couch. "I was about to say some fucking suspect as shit fucking with you."

"Cause you know you wanna be my bitch."

"I like you better silent."

I smirk seductively. "Shut my mouth then."

I help him grab the pancake batter dispenser. "Okay."

"1... 2... 3... 4." he says as he fills the pan.

"What you need me for?"

"Nothing." Lane says watching the pancakes. "You stand there, k?"

I laugh and turn the Instagram Live off. I was getting a call from the doctor. Never enjoy these kinds of calls.

"Hello."

"Trey, I decided to call you early. I figured you start your day before I do."

I check on Lane then I go over to Chris. "Can you go make sure Lane doesn't burn himself? He is making pancakes."

"Alone?" Chris says jumping out of bed.

"What's the problem, Doctor?"

"This is a call about Cammie. I'm concerned with her health."

I shut the bedroom door. "This is the first I'm hearing about Cammie having issues."

"Yes she is. Her doctor reported that she has lost too much weight. She isn't eating, leaving the hospital, or taking her vitamins. I wanted to know when you were getting into town?"

"Oo... It's looking like next Friday."

"Okay. I have encouraged her to pump extra milk. She has enough for four days if you can get her out of the hospital."

I blow. "Why does she need to leave? I could get her to eat."

He clears his thought. "She needs to leave this environment. I'm worried about her developing postpartum. She hasn't been diagnosed by her doctor but it's a concern of her doctor."

"I could... Uh." I sigh. "She has to be... What is today? I've been ignoring my calendar. One second."

I look at my phone schedule. I would be going home in 4 days. Damn, it seems like it went by fast. I'm excited about this now. I go back to the conversation.

"4 days."

"Okay, good. She was talking as if she didn't know. The baby is a few test away from going home. He has gained 5 pounds and is attempting to breathe on his own. He could be out of here in a few days."

"Really?" I say excited.

He says something in the background. "I don't want to give Cammie any false hope so I haven't been discussing my predictions of his departure. I want him to be at least 9 pounds before he leaves."

I sit down a little relieved. "Okay. I'm glad to hear that about Caden."

"Yes, he is woke most of the day. I want to schedule his circumcision but I need to first know when you will arrive and when you will return. The sooner the better. I'm expecting for him to gain another 5 pounds by next week so his weight will be stable."

"You want me to take her home or out of town?"

"A vacation would be best."

I inhale slowly. "You asking a lot."

"I know she is stubborn but your mother says that you are the only one to do it. I want her going home a healthy mother so she can nurture a healthy baby. When she takes the baby home with unresolved issues it will be bad. There's a chance of her coming back and the baby being home without her."

"I can't guarantee 4 days. It took her a while before she could be without our first born for a day."

"2 days will be better than none. It's not an requirement but if she doesn't start taking care of herself I will hold the baby here until I'm 100% sure he will have no complications. Caden is my priority."

Damn, it almost seem like this is his fucking baby. I hired the motherfucker. Lane peeks into the room. He has been unwilling to let me out of his sight in the last few days. He doesn't come all the way in the room.

"I will do what I can."

"Great. I'll see you in a few days."

I hang up the phone and fall back on the bed. It is some shit around every corner. My infant son is doing increasingly better but as a result my wife is going through hell. All of it is a direct link to my absence.

"Everything good?" Chris asks.

"Yeah." I say sitting up.

He holds up a laptop. "Naked booty hoes."

I chuckle. "Are those babies, Chris?"

"MiMi sent this to me." he says playing the video. "It's baby porn."

I laugh taking the laptop. "Stop playing."

He stands in front of me. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, Caden's doctor is worried about Cammie. This is Lane and JJ?"

"It's King, Lane, and JJ. MiMi slow ass sent that to me."

I laugh at them. It was a short video of them in the tub. JJ was already standing up dancing naked then Lane and King turn their butts to the camera and start dancing. It is a hilarious 30 seconds. Good enough to get me into a better mood to call Cammie.

"Tremaine, how do you always know when to call me?"

"I just called cause I was thinking about you."

Chris takes the computer. "You mean because you knew she just talked to the doctor."

I shoo him away. "I don't think you love me."

"Why not, Tremaine?"

"I don't feel it."

She giggles. "The little guy has gained 5 pounds. I didn't think about it much until now... Maybe because it was scary to think about. But he was born 5 pounds and some ounces. That means he was literally 1 pound. Can you believe that? I would have broken down if I thought about that. He isn't his birth weight yet."

"Damn, I didn't think about that."

"He is still skinny with a big head."

"I can't wait to touch you."

She smiles. "You will be home in a few days. I've been counting down the days. My men need to come home."

"Mainly me."

"No, you both."

"Lane not around. You can say me."

She frowns. "Where is Lane?"

I wait until I walk into the kitchen to say anything. "Say hey Mommy."

"Mommy!" Lane says taking the phone.

"I love you, Jay." I say before he takes it away.

  Alex

It's 5 o'clock in the morning and I don't feel like doing shit. I throw my housecoat over me and go to the door. Some idiot is at my door thinking it's okay to be up this early. I swing the door open. Jamaal holds a cup in front of my face.

"Jamaal, what are you doing up?"

"I told Kim to remind you last night. I knew she would and I knew you would ignore her. I even came a few hours early so you had woman time to get ready."

I take the coffee. "Only because I can smell the caramel in here."

He steps into the house. "My mother won't stop talking about you. Did she call you?"

"Your mother calling me? Oh I wonder why?"

"What was the bullshit I had to say?" he says sitting down on the couch.

I take in the sweet aroma of coffee. "I said no such thing. You acknowledging how right I was means nothing."

"How about me acknowledging that you single handedly made my life easier."

"I like that. I'm listening."

"We both know that my mother works in a male dominated world so she was secretly impressed by you. Come to find out you worked with my father."

I sip on my coffee. "Why don't I know who Senator Andrews' husband is? Why is she still an Andrews?"

"Well..." he says nothing else.

"Well, Jamaal? I'm not feeling your secrets."

He exhales. "I never wanted her to be the reason I got anything. You know how backwards ass impressed she is that I am where I am? She knows who you are now. She knows I've done something without her."

"Oh, I think it sounds like you should be kissing my ass."

"I said I would." He replies.

I laugh. "Jamaal, I was... Nevermind. Anyway."

He sits up in his chair. "We really have to be punctual this morning."

"Beauty doesn't always take long."

"Why do you answer the door in seethrough shit all the time?"

I glance down. "Oh dang. Okay, let me get rid of my company from last night and get ready."

"Your company?" he says upset.

"One minute." I say walking into the back.

There wasn't anyone back here. I just wanted to fuck with him. I was really going to show him that it doesn't take me long to get dressed. I usually spend time before bed organizing and picking out clothes for the next day. It's how I wind down.

"Aye."

"Out of my bedroom, Jamaal."

He doesn't leave. "All week I have successfully ignored you. You are putting me in a difficult position."

"No submission shit this morning. I'll be glad to put it on your ass another day."

"You be having me about to agree to some sick shit. I'm not thinking you really talking about my ass. Be a lady."

"You can't tell me that after we have fucked."

He puts his arm behind his back. "Alex, listen, I like to fuck. You like to fuck can we get pass all of this?"

"Nope."

"Selfish as always."

I walk up to him and slap his cheek playfully. His eyes drop to my breast. There is nothing more for him to be looking at.

"I like to think that I'm pretty constant. I know this."

"You are supposed to say thank you. Do I have to teach you how?"

I laugh. "Fuck you."

"Now?"

"You think that because you buy me pearls you get to fuck whenever? No, pearls or no pearls."

His eyes once again scan my half naked body. "It's the house coat."

He had touched my gown. I smack his hand away. He had a look on his face that spelled out each of his thoughts loud and clear. I turn away from him. I decided that I wouldn't go there with him again. It might be trouble. We had a go thing for a few weeks but it wasn't nothing special. His dick is pretty good. I can't lie about that. I was just supposed to be an onetime thing.

"Alex." he says slightly above a whisper.

"Jamaal." I snap back.

He startles me a little by grabbing my waist. Okay, Jamaal, no. I keep walking toward the bathroom. I mean it may not turn to shit. Worst case is that we actually get somewhere outside of this hole he keeps digging. I stop at the bathroom door. It was only a few inches away from where Jamaal stood. He attempts to persuade me once again. I let it ride. We will see. His hands admire the glory of my body. I put a lot of time into this thing. There's a lot to admire. I know.

"Jamaal, don't go getting all addicted to this."

"When I nut, leave the money on the table. I know."

I back up from him but fall into a chair. I sit all the way down. "Bitch, don't play."

He leans down over me getting into my face. I move my face away from him. I didn't want to kiss him. I love kissing. Kissing could give me a powerful orgasm with the right kisser but I didn't want that right now. Jamaal gets the message completely. He goes from unfamiliar take it easy type of demeanor to heated TV sex. He takes his clothes off without any further delay. I'm waiting to forget that he is Jamaal. I stand up. I didn't want pussy juice on my $5,000 imported chair. He picks me up. Plus 1. I glance back as he lowers me to a surface. Damn, I need less expensive shit. Not the overpriced duvet.

"What?" he asks.

I am ecstatic that he picked up on it. I push him back and throw the duvet all the way off the bed. He stares at it on the floor.

"Why did I think you would be different?" he says chuckling. "Anything else not worth the damage?"

"Your feelings if this goes bad."

He ponders over it for a bit. "Turn it down."

I chuckle. "If you shut my mouth my tongue will relax."

"Or fill it..." he mumbles grabbing his dick.

I stay quiet out of respect of the dick. I was tired of hearing his mouth and I refuse to lose a battle because his dick silenced me in mid sentence. He seemed to be waiting for that moment to claim victory. But I'll let the victory be in satisfying me.

"Hmm." he says as he enters me slowly. He pulls out. "Condom?"

"Oh my fucking gosh!" I retort. "Does it look like I have a fucking dick? Is that my responsibility?"

He looks at my funny. "They teach you in school that you should."

"Will what about you, Jamaal?"

"Yeah, sure. I would love to have that conversation with a 5 year old. That's not candy it's a fucking condom. Make sure you stock your house up dick or not."

I laugh. "Nobody fucking comes to my house and if you haven't noticed I haven't had a 'relationship' for quite some time. You killed it."

She hands me a tube of cream. "If I'm not mistaking that's where his family is. Rub this on your nipple. Both just in case he doesn't latch on to one and we need to use the other. Have you done this before?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Only thing is the breathing tubes and IV but he isn't doing too much moving. Anyway."

I feel weird with her there but she doesn't seem to be going away. I bring him close to me. As normal he turns his head towards my skin. I smile as he attempts to latch on. The nurse comes closer.

"I'm just going to massage his chin. Get him familiar with the suckling motion." she says.

"It seems to be working." I look down at him.

"Great."

After a few minutes of gentle messages and extreme patience he gets it. He makes his eyes big as he really gets the hang of it getting milk. I smile at him. I'm in love with this fellow. He must have some love for me. I rub his forehead. His eyes close. He suckles a little longer then he falls asleep.

"How did it go?" The nurse asks a few minutes later.

"Good. I don't think he was that hungry."

She nods. "Maybe not. But he will be by the next feeding with breastmilk. It's a little thinner. Easier to digest."

"Do you have kids?"

"No." she says a little sad. "Me and my boyfriend have been trying. I'm a little glad because I don't know if we gonna be together much longer. He thinks I work too much and I love my job. Oh. Sorry."

I smile. "That's fine."

"Your life must be... Well. It must be nice being married to Trey Songz."

"Maybe for you. He isn't a big deal." I laugh.

"Says the woman holding his child. I think that Caden will be ready to go home in two weeks."

I stand up and lay him down. "Why would you think that and not the doctor?"

"The doctor is going by test and numbers. I'm basing mine off of my feelings."

"I hope he will be out in a week."

She checks his diaper. "He has to be circumcised. Add a few days."

I put my finger on his hand. He grabs my finger holding it the best he could. He lets it go and doesn't respond again to me touching him. He is sleeping hard.

"He is passing all his test. His liver is developing well. His breathing is a bit stronger."

"Well let's say you are right."

I take out my phone and call Trey back. He must not have let the phone ring much.

"I need you."

"Good morning, Tremaine."

He blows. "If you can't video chat don't call me."

I chuckle at his seriousness. I video call him. "Tremaine, why you being mean to me?"

"It feels good."

"You in the car?"

He moves. "No. I know you see that mirror behind me."

"I thought it was a window."

"Shut up. How's my baby?"

I show Caden. "Doing good. He is sleeping extra hard."

Dr. Polk walks in the room carrying some papers. He checks some stuff then looks over at me.

"Did he feed well?"

"Yes." I shrug. "I think so."

The doctor checks his papers. "His pressure is a lot lower than normal."

"Cause he is sleep." I say.

"It is lower than his normal resting pressure." Dr. Polk nods. "Let's shoot for breastfeeding for the rest of the day. It's something for him to be so calm after the feeding. It could be very positive. As long as he is feeding well we will continue with it."

I smile. "He is going to start gaining weight by the end of the week."

"Let's shoot for that." Dr. Polk says leaving out of the room.

"So what he is saying is that he was wrong?" Trey says.

I turn the camera to me. "I feed him once and his resting heart rate goes down. That means he is more calm and relaxed."

"Pick him up. Let him wake up in your arms. I sure as hell wish I could. I'm trying not to look at the date so I won't be anticipating when I will be leaving."

"It's not a punishment. Won't you go out tonight."

"Nope."

I sigh. "Me and Ma went out last night. It really did help. You know, we had a really nice time at the restaurant."

"Yeah?"

"Yeap." I smile.

He stares at the phone then he smiles. "Did you talk to Lane?"

"No, where is he?"

"With Forrest. They went to the zoo. I'm a little down about not taking him myself."

I suck my teeth. "Oh really? So the hell am I."

Trey chuckles then makes a face at me. "You saw the picture that I posted of us? On Instagram?"

"Don't be posting shit of me, Mr. Neverson. I'm not trying to come in between you and your wife. She is good to me."

He smiles. "Get my son, man."

I do as he say. "Look at his little self."

"Looking like Lane."

"Does Lane still not talk about Caden?"

"He doesn't. He will roll his eyes at me."

"He needs to stop with his spoiled ass. How did he like the zoo?"

Trey moves the camera around then turn the back camera on showing a fan being removed from the room he is in.

"You see this?"

"Day in the life of Trey Songz."

He puts it back on him. "Go out and drink. Get fucked up. Return drunk to your son."

"Go out. Have a normal time. Little to no drinking. Return sober to your son then call me. I'll be up breastfeeding all night."

"You sound happy."

I smile. "About breastfeeding? Oh yes. Very."

"I got to go."

"Love you."

The phone hangs up. I suck my teeth. It rings again instantly making me smile.

"Sorry, I love you too." Trey says walking out of the room he is in. "I'll go out cause you told me to then I'll call and tell you what a drag it was."

"And how much you hate me?"

He kisses the phone. "Always."

I smile then wave bye. He hangs up again. This time on purpose. I put the phone on my closet. Trey wants me to hold the baby while the doctor says as less as possible. I've been in here this far and my baby hasn't gotten anything from me. I'm going to hold him like my husband suggests. I pick him up out of his cradle and lay him gently on my chest. Caden Elijah Neverson. My newest bundle of love. I take a picture then send it to MiMi, Mommy, April, and Buggiz. My love.

  MiMi

I pick Minnie up from the bed and put her in the bassinet. She opens her mouth like she was about to scream. I hold my breath. After a second or two I look up and see JJ staring at me. I smile at him. He had a look on his face like he didn't know me.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Mommy."

I walk away from the bassinet. JJ follows me into the kitchen. He loves to hold Minnie while she is sleeping. He calls her his Princess baby because I put a small crown on her head. We are baking cookies for him to draw on with some markers that he came home with. He went to Aunt Diane's house with Dee.

"Is it done?" he squeals.

"Bae!"

I look towards the front door. "Yes they were cooling. Why these man yelling?"

"He not Princess Baby sleep. Don't be mad at him."

"I did not..." I smile at him. He thinks he can talk.

Dee spins me around and holds something up. "Goal met in one day!"

I take what he had. "This a personal check from who?"

"Read it, Bae." he says kissing me. "Motherfucking Floyd Mayweather."

"For... What does this say?"

He hits JJ then starts dancing. JJ laughs hysterically like Dee is the funniest thing on the face of Earth. Dee stops dancing and looks at the check.

"All that don't matter."

"What?"

He digs into a bag that he brung in the kitchen with him. "I told his girl... Umm. Assistant. Yeah her. I told her to write it out to car service. MyAsia we in there!"

"Umm... MyAshe." JJ says already writing on a cookie. "Why he say that?"

"That's your mama name." Devin says leaving out of the kitchen. "Bae, Me. Come here."

"You so excited and I'm just like so what. Big deal. What's your goal?" I say walking into the living room. "Bags?"

He throws up his hand then drops them. "You wouldn't believe the energy I had in that store."

I laugh looking at the bags. "In WalMart?"

"Yeap, Walmart."

"Dee." I laugh. "Okay, what do you have?"

"Man, don't fucking be like that."

I suck my teeth. "What do you have?"

He cuts his eyes at me. "Bae, just sit down right there."

"Okay." I say sitting down. "JJ, you okay?"

"Yes. I k." he says fast.

"Senator Andrews." I say stepping towards her a little.

"Hello, who's your assistant? Don't be rude."

She said that looking pass me. Hold the fuck on.

"That's fucking sexist of you to fucking assume I'm the assistant. Until a month ago I was the one and only person in my position."

"As what?" she says nonchalantly. "Executive assistant. I do love your attire. Ida, take a note of what I mean by work appropriate with some style. Hmm?"

"Yes, ma'am." she says smiling slightly.

Jamaal stops me from going off on her. He stands between us purposely. "Mama, good to see you."

"Jamaal, you were so silent I forgot you were here." she looks him over. "I see you changed your style."

"Mama. As in mother." I whisper.

He turns around and sighs. "Just be nice."

I giggle then stop abruptly. "Too her?"

"This is my partner, Mama. Alex."

"Alex? Just Alex?" she says like someone put spoiled fish in front of her to eat. "Is that a dyke thing?"

I put my hands on my hip. I gasp astonished by the length she is going. "I refuse."

"Do I know you?" Senator Andrews asks.

"Maybe then you over looked me as a simple assistant. I rather not gloat in my own shit. It can get smelly after a while."

She chuckles a bit. "Jamaal?"

Jamaal is a fucking bitch for not telling me that his mother is Senator Andrews. I should go across his head right now in front of her uppity ass. Sitting her acting like her shit don't stank. She needs to learn a few things about personality adjusting. You do that shit to reporters and shit. You don't do that bullshit anywhere you go. I don't care if you at your son's job. Hell you should be anymore respectful then.

"Lexie is in my office sleep still."

"What am I supposed to do with a sleep grown ass child and this skinny assistant."

I roll my eyes and walk towards my office. Oh she is fucking terrible. But then again I knew this. I never met her but her reputation for being a bitch is dead on. Usually you can give the person a chance but no. There's no compromising with that spawn. I sit at my office responding to emails. A little while later Jamaal walks in. I turn from the computer.

"Oh great." I say gesturing to him. "Come here and let me slap that face."

"I know." he says.

I turn from the computer. "But you gossip about everything."

"She is a bitch. Why would I tell anyone about that?"

"So it was her yacht!"

He shrugs a bit. "My father's but let's not ponder on that."

"Oh, your rich ass father. Jamaal, I can't stand your lying face. I should have told her you wore that outfit last night."

"Wore it where?"

I push him back. "You too close."

He looks down at himself. "I wanted to have a different look for her. Because she is in town. Clearly she is about 'style'."

"I mean she does have style with that pretty ass coat she was wearing."

"Do you want to come to breakfast?"

I laugh. "No."

He sighs. "Be selfless and save a nigga."

"Ha." I say turning to my computer.

"Damn, I wish I had something over your head."

I smirk. "Are you begging?"

"Yes." he says leaning on the desk.

"Are you desperate enough to kiss my ass?"

He stands up. "Your real ass?"

"Yeah." I say turning to him.

"Come up with something better. Say your asshole or armpits."

"Oh so you wouldn't mind kissing my ass?"

"No." he retorts.

I don't know about that one. He stands there waiting for an answer. I would not, absolutely not, want to sit at breakfast with his mother. Good Lord. I cross my arms. I need something out of this besides my ass being kissed. I could easily get that do without having to go through shit.

"You have to be a bit more persuasive."

"Alex. Be fair. There's nothing you need from me."

I laugh. "This is mildly satisfying. I have to go with you to your breakfast because..."

"My mother has nothing to talk about besides my failures and delayed success."

"Wait why is your mother here if she is such a problem and why do your niece stay in the hood? Why are you broke Jamaal?"

He pulls me up from my seat. "Cause she is my mother."

"Whom you are deeply afraid of."

"Shitless." he says. "She's a black bullheaded woman who believes in her own morals and strictly enforces them. I got cut off when I failed a class in college."

"One?"

"One." he says pulling me.

I snatch away from him. "Did I say yes?"

He sighs. "You are like the antagonist of my mother. Not because you act like her but because you have that same fire that won't be put out by her. She is my mother, Alex."

"Oh shut up."

"Come on. Only thing she can do is..."

"Make herself look weak by targeting my imperfections while I be nice because she is your mother?"

He touches my back. "You can say whatever you want. No being nice. But Lexie is going to be at the table. My mother is taking her for a week or two while she is in town for a conference."

"Who represents your mother?" I ask with a sudden idea for a business opportunity.

"Oh she would never leave her public rep. You can kill that."

I smile and grab my bag. "I would love to see you look shameful."

"If this isn't shame enough. I bet you do like to do the fucking."

"I'll show you." I say walking towards the door.

He steps in front of me opening the door. "Show me how you will fuck me or how you can convince my mother to hire you?"

I push him making the door swing back towards the wall. "Why do you have this dying need to mix the business of things with pleasure?"

"That's TV talk. A woman is a man's partner. If we can't conduct business then what are we together for. It's interchangeable. If we can work well together we can do anything pleasurable with great success."

"You practiced that in the mirror didn't you?"

"You vain enough to believe I think about you all day."

I chuckle walking away. ""Because you do."

  Trey

Forrest picks Lane up so I could see his face on the camera. "Look at Daddy."

"It a elebent." Lane yells not paying me any attention.

"Look Trey." Forrest says again.

Lane gasp. "It coming. Hey, elebent. Hey!"

Forrest puts him down. "I tried."

"I might have made a mistake suggesting the Zoo."

"Yes." Forrest says showing me Lane jumping up and down.

He is overwhelmed by excitement as he watches the elephant come towards the zookeeper. The zookeeper hands Lane a tree branch. Lane climbs a stool without being told and waits for the elephant to come up. The elephant takes the tree from him. He reaches out to the elephant to touch it. The elephant actually reaches it's trunk out. I fucking freak out. What if that thing grabs him? Or knocks him off the stool? Lane is calm as ever as it gets close to him. Buggiz comes up into the camera a bit. That's why I love Buggiz. I'm fucking glad he team Cammie cause he thinks like me.

"Elebent." Lane says.

"Okay." Buggiz says.

Lane touches the elephant's trunk again then starts crying. "Bye, elebent."

"Elephant." Forrest says. "Come on. Let's go see the tiger."

"Tiger?" Lane says excited.

Forrest shows Lane. "Your Daddy.

Lane starts talking too fast to understand him. I smile at him and nod my head. He was so excited that he could careless if I respond. Damn, even if we in the same country I miss shit. I sigh. After a few minutes of him talking he leaves Forrest and go to Buggiz.

"He going to the bathroom." Forrest says.

"He loving that. Thanks."

"You my nigga. He my nigga. Plus he not interfering with my plans for later."

I sigh. "About that."

"Don't do the guilt trip."

"I'm just saying that you can't be out here getting drunk and shit. You got to be better than me, right?"

He opens his mouth. "Oh the phone."

I laugh. He had hung up the phone on me. I hope that he remembers to call Cammie. I need to talk to her and see how it went. Well. She might not be up. I sigh and walk out into the crowd of waiting fans. They start cheering and doing the usual. I have to be 10 times more than normal because these girls are paying a shit of money to see me tonight. I sit down and get ready to sign whatever they give me.

"Trey?"

"Emily." I say signing the cd of someone in front of her.

She steps up to the table. "Oh silly me. I have nothing for you to sign."

"You stood in line to do what?" I ask.

"To take a picture with my number 1."

I stand up. "I'm sure you could have gotten a picture without standing in line."

"Oh, I just got in line." she says kissing my cheek.

"In front of all these people?"

She smiles. "They said they didn't mind. Enough of that. I'll be waiting on a call later."

I walk back to the table. In one breathe that went from innocent to inappropriate. Talking about some fucking call. As if I would dare fuck up my life. Fuck her for thinking she is that fucking important. It was a demand that I call her.

"You were su... My name is Ally." the girl says.

"What did I write?" I say paying attention.

I look around for CiCi. I don't think that she came in here with me. I signal someone to me to get this girl another poster or something to replace this. She smiles the whole time like I didn't fuck up her poster. CiCi comes with an arm full of stuff seconds later. She takes a deep breath and sits down a bottle of water.

"Sorry, Ally." I say signing a shirt and  a copy of other stuff.

"What does this say?" CiCi giggles.

"I don't fucking know?" I whisper back.

She gives me the water bottle. "There's a sedative in the cap."

I chuckle. "You really think I need that, CiCi?"

"I wouldn't if I didn't." she whispers.

"I need to go home." I whisper as the next person comes up.

She touches my leg. "Nicki already said she would understand."

"Yeah I know.

"I love you." the girl says handing me something to sign.

"I love you too."

She covers her mouth. "I love your wife. I wish I could meet her."

I exhale. "Wouldn't that be lovely?"

"Yeah."

"CiCi, why were you out of breath?"

She giggles. "I was sorta out of place."

I look at the water bottle. "Across the street eating?"

"I thought about you needing water."

"Hi, beautiful. What's your name?" I ask the young girl.

Lane screams louder. I sigh. Okay. I have to stop completely now. He isn't going to stop screaming and acting like a fool. I walk over to him. He yells something and cry harder. This little guy is only 2. I forget about shit like that. He might be sleepy or hungry. Maybe I've ignored him too long.

"Lane?" I say kneeling down.

"I want Mommy." he cries.

I signal Buggiz. "Okay, go with Buggiz. He will take you to Mommy."

Lane looks at Buggiz then falls out. "I not go Mommy."

"Well then." I stand him up. "You hungry? I got chicken nuggets."

"No."

"He already ate those." Buggiz says. "He crying because of his tablet dying."

I look at Buggiz. "You couldn't tell me that a few minutes ago?"

Buggiz shrugs. "You didn't ask me."

"CiCi." I say taking Lane's tablet out his backpack.

"Here you go." she says handing me a battery pack.

"Everybody has the fucking solution." I say snatching it.

Lane watches me plug it up then put it back in his bag. He doesn't like the idea of it going back into the bag. He starts crying again. I hand it to him instead.

"Okay, now hush." I say standing up and going to CiCi. "Alright. The last page."

"He is unplugging it." CiCi says.

I glance at him. "Let him. That's just..."

"No!" Lane yells then starts crying.

"Bring it here." I say firmly.

He is being annoying. I take it from him and plug it back up. I don't give it back to him. That causes a problem as well. I look at CiCi.

"It is now your job to make sure this thing stays at least 50%. We not going through this everyday. I can't remember to charge my phone yet keep up with this."

"Okay." she nods.

I shake my head. "Don't I have a nanny in Europe?"

She nods. "Judi."

"Who is Judi?"

"Um... I don't know. You gave me her number as a nanny just in case you need her. Maybe you said something about Jamie Foxx."

I nod my head. "Okay. Lane!"

"Shut up."

"What?" I say looking at him. I snap my finger. "Get over here."

He gets teary eyed for the first time. He cries only after he starts walking over to me. All those other times those eyes were dry. Cute ass little kids. I wanted to slap the shit out of him for telling me to shut up. I just look at him. He seemed torn about it already.

"Don't you tell me to shut up."

"I sorry." he says hugging my leg then burying his head.

I look at CiCi. "The last page."

"You need to sign it." she says handing me a pen.

"Did you send that email about my budget for the summer?"

"Yes. Did you want me to call the nanny?"

I look at Lane. "I don't think we need to bother someone about charging a tablet."

She laughs. "I'll keep it charged. I never thought about checking it at night."

"Okay." I nod. "What do we have to do now?"

"Get to the arena." Buggiz says looking at his watch.

I grab Lane's hand. "You ready?"

"My phone." he whines.

"It's charging." I say picking him up. "Here play with CiCi's."

She reluctantly hands her phone over. Lane is disgusted by the phone. He stares at the back of it not taking it from her. She withdraws it from him.

"You don't want my phone, Lane?" she giggles.

"No."

She pokes him. "Why?"

"That girl phone." he says hitting at her. "No girl phone."

"Well fine, Lane." she smiles. "Want to come to me so your daddy can sign this?"

Lane hugs me. "No, TiTi."

"Okay."

"I can sign with one hand." I say gesturing to her.

"We need to get going." Buggiz says.

I sign the papers then follow Buggiz out of the door. I had another bodyguard but I'm not sure where he is. Lane buries his face into my neck as he always does when we walk outside. Sometimes there be a crowd and sometimes there isn't. He does it regardless. He doesn't like that they know his name. It confuses him to hear his name and not see a familiar face. Cammie is the reason for this. She said she never makes him speak and she tells him to ignore people who calls his name.

"Trey!" someone yells.

"My hat, Daddy." Lane whines.

Buggiz hands it to me as I walk toward him. The other bodyguard is standing by the car keeping the two screaming women away. Lane climbs happily into his carseat once e get into the car.

"My tab done?" he asks holding out his little hand.

"If that thing wasn't full of educational stuff I would be worried."

CiCi nods. "He was watching a video about elephants and their migration."

"At 2." I say giving him his tablet.

"Thank you." he says tucking it next to him in the seat. "Ice cream?"

"Yeah. Now it's time for ice cream."

He claps his hands together. "Berry berry."

"Strawberry?"

"Berry berry." he nods.

I call Cammie but get no answer. I miss her. I wish there were about 20 extra hours so I could fly home and see her for just a few minutes. Lane sings a unrecognizable song as we drive through the town. My phone rings a little while later. It's not Cammie so I don't answer it. I post the video on snapchat that I recorded earlier for her. I also send her a picture of Lane's new suit. We got them tailored yesterday and tried them on today. They have some more work to do on Lane's. He stayed still today but not yesterday.

   Cammie

"How was your morning?" I ask April.

"Good." she smiles. "You should have came with me."

I shake my head. "They are letting me hold the baby in a few minutes. Tomorrow I'm going to breastfeed."

She had a huge smile on her face. "God said today would being good news."

"Amen." I smile.

"Did you talk to Trey?"

I rub Caden's stomach. "Yes. A few times... Oh what do you think about Caden Elijah?"

"I could careless what you name my new baby."

"Well." I smile.

"Baby, want you go home tonight. I'll stay at ghe hospital if you like."

I roll my eyes. "No."

She rubs my back. "Okay, I got you some more clothes. I don't want you to stress yourself out being in this room this much."

"I understand Ma but I can't leave him."

"Okay." she says patting my back. "Is this chocolate?"

I smile. "Yes, Trey sent it this morning along with a cutout of him and Lane. They seem to be having fun with each other. I so badly want to hear that he is crying for me. Or that he is on his way back home. It just tears my heart apart with him being in Europe."

"Believe me I know."

"What did you buy me?"

She takes the bag out. "A few comfortable pair of pajamas pants and shirts. I figured you don't need much more. Do you want to have dinner with me? We can go downstairs."

I sigh. "We can go to a restaurant. That's fine. I'm wearing pajamas though."

"That's fine with me."

"Where's Rollie?"

"Went in through the other side."

The doctor comes into the room. "You ready? That's mighty stupid of me to ask."

"Yeah, it is." I laugh.

"Okay." he says just reaching in the bassinet. It seems like he took no caution at all. "Remember the IV is in his foot."

I wanted to say duh. I let the doctor put him in my arms. I cuddle him close to me. He opens his eyes looking at me for a really long time.

"Hey, Caden." I say touching his lips.

"It seems like he has been waiting to look at your face. He won't turn away." April says smiling. "Can I take a picture?"

I smile at him as he stares at me. "I don't even care right now."

"How about we see how he responds to your skin touching his lips?" Dr. Polk says.

"And if he responds the way we like?"

Dr. Polk makes a face. "I wanted to see how this new formula affects his feeding before we start that. The breastmilk may settle and we not know if the formula causes some complications."

I lift my shirt and hold him really close to my skin. He doesn't do anything but stare at me. I rub his cheek with my finger. He is so small and cute. I want to take him home right now. I kiss him. He turns his head towards my lips. I smile and kiss him again. He turns his head until it touches my skin.

"He may just be stubborn." Dr. Polk says.

"So what does that mean?" April asks.

"We will try to breastfeed in the morning. He looks as if he will suckle. If we can get him breadtfeeding and get him to stop losing weight then we won't need that trach."

April touches his hand. "He will. All he needs is his mama being close to him."

"I hope so." I smile.

"Don't handle him too long." Dr. Polk says walking out.

April follows him out of the door. "How is he looking as far as lung development?"

"He is improving but he is weak from the lose of weight." he says something else but i couldn't hear him.

"We gonna get out of this hospital aren't we? You are so cute."

I pick up my phone that is beeping. I missed Trey's call. I video him back. He answers slow.

"Why didn't you answer?" he asks upset.

"Look." I say showing him the baby in my arms.

He clears his throat. "Titties."

I laugh. "Tremaine."

"You need to learn how to hold a camera. All I saw was titties."

"Can you see him?"

He chuckles. "He is so tiny."

"Yeah. He is acting like he wants to breastfeed."

"Let me see."

He rubs his cheek. He opens his mouth turning his head towards my hand.

"Damn. That makes my night."

"It makes my life brighter. Tomorrow we will breastfeed. I feel good about this. I know in the next 3 days he will gain at least 1 pound."

"Your milk it high quality."

I chuckle and turn the phone so I can see him. "What are you doing?"

"Get ready to get on stage. Send me a picture of you and the baby."

"I'll tell Rollie to send it to Buggiz, okay. I don't need it on no blog."

He smiles really hard. "Damn, I love you. I miss you. Earlier I kept calling everybody Jay. Even if I didn't know there name."

"I love you too. What if we would have never gotten back together?"

"Jay, I became human when you came into my life. I can't say what if because I wouldn't be alive."

I roll my eyes. "Oh please."

He smiles. "There is no what if. I wouldn't have stopped until I got you in my life. I was desperate for a bit of living. I'm serious as I can be. It was your name that made me realize that I needed you. The thought of you. I could live without ever touching you."

"No you can't." I smile. "We didn't make this baby with our minds."

"We sure as hell didn't." he licks his lips. "Jay?"

I laugh. "My bad. Go back to telling me how much you need me in your life."

"No. I want to hear the thoughts in your head after looking at my son for a fucking year, yo. I look at him and think of you."

I chuckle. "It was hard not to hate you because he was so amazing. You know I wanted to hate you."

"But you didn't."

"Tremaine, you didn't think of me for a year." I snap.

He smirks. "I was waiting for you to come to me and tell me you wanted more from me. I have many ways of distracting myself from failed relationship problems."

"I deeply wanted you to come see your so so we could stare the experience of the little guy."

"You know a year ago Tyga told me that even though you there you still gonna miss shit. And look at this. I'm going to miss the first month of his life."

"We both are actually missing it. This not the same as having him home."

Trey kisses the phone. "It's the next best thing."

"I miss your stank butt." I smile.

"Shut up and show me the baby."

I turn the camera. "I need to lay him down. The doctor said not to hold him too much."

"Tomorrow you will have an excuse to hold him a lot."

"I'm excited."

"I know."

April comes over to me. "Let me lay him down."

I move the phone. "Sure go ahead."

"Oh." she says pausing. "Hello, Little son."

"No." Trey snaps. "Don't even try it April."

"Hush." she says gently laying him down. "I'm seconds away from tears."

I smile at her. "That was therapy."

"Yeah." Trey nods. "Let me go. I'll call you back."

"Okay, Maine. Love you."

"I love you more." He says kissing at the phone then hanging up.

"I'm so emotion." April says fanning herself. "I'll be next door."

"Okay, fine. Don't act like you don't know."

"Well, fuck it. I'll go to Europe then since we running to friends."

I nod. "That's great. He needs support as well. I know you rather chill but damn he sacrificed being with his wife for an extra week for you. I think it is time for you to be a bit supportive."

He shrugs. "I have to hear shit constantly, huh?"

"Yeah." I say kissing his lips. "You need to be reminded what kind of person you want to be."

"A sexually pleased one."

"I'm sure you get enough sex." I say pushing him.

"Sevyn." he snaps like I hurt him. "You hear that shit Kae saying about me?"

I roll my eyes. "All after she showed up at your fucking concert to chill."

He takes out his phone. "I didn't tell you about the shit in my phone. I tried my best to ignore it. I feel like her and Jess working together with this shit. Look at this. You playing wifey with her like I wasn't shit for you. You need to be worrying about that baby you got on the way with your deadbeat ass. And when I didn't reply to that she said. Fuck you and your aimless ass cheating ass dick."

"Like she wasn't fucking anybody that gave her no talent ass self some attention."

"That's what I'm saying."

I stand up on the couch. "I be telling you about these girls you be talking to. No, you want to fucking give these fake ass bitches time."

"Like you." he says grabbing me.

"I can't warn you about me." I laugh pushing his head. "You have been knowing me for years. You should already know what I'm about."

He laughs then stops. He laughs again. "I thought you would change just a little bit and be less... Like you."

"Oh you make me sound great."

"Aye, I'm glad you still the same. We can talk about the relationship... Not relationship. You know the female issues that haunt my life without there being an argument. That's what I like the most."

I fall down on the couch. "You should know me. I'm not getting my hands dirty with mindless bullshit. Now if I needed you to say... boost my reputation, I would create drama via social media and shit. We all know you love social media."

"Man, it loves me."

"No, I told you before the problem is where your mind is when you get on those things. You thinking about clearing your name or you not thinking. You know. I'm not going there with you. You will be on there alone. Hell you would just be alone."

He gets on the couch. "I've noticed that your name stays out of shit."

"They probably think we just fucking and this not serious."

"Shit, they couldn't be more wrong." he says kissing my stomach.

I laugh thinking about something else. "Today Joyce called me asking who that man was that Gui was talking to."

"A man?"

"She meant like dating. She thinks that girl is a man."

He chuckles then laughs loudly. "I thought that... Aye, that is a man she talking about. That's not the girl that he is talking to. Ma needs to stay out of everybody's busy. I know who she talking about."

"Your boy might just go that way."

"No." Chris laughs.

I pull on his ear. He didn't have too long before he has to be at a photoshoot. He has been ignoring time a lot lately. It's not like him to be this careless with the time.

"Is everything really okay with you?"

He gives it some thought. "Yeah."

I pull on his ear. "Wrong answer."

"I've been thinking really hard about shit." he says. He takes a deep breath and stand up. "I've been really considering saying fuck the good role. I get into shit whether I'm doing the right thing or not. Why not get blazed and get into shit? It's the same shit."

"It do feel like that but it's not the same shit. It's better to be able to stand up and say I'm innocent and really not have shit to do with it. You want to feel good inside."

"Pills and shit does that."

I pull his waistline towards me. "That's like an invisible cloak. It may feel better but it's all going to be there at the end of the day. Plus more shit."

He leans over me. "Why weren't you always in my life?"

"I have been." I snap.

"You being a friend ain't good enough. Friends don't make you feel like you got something you not supposed to have. I'm not supposed to have such a positive person in my life."

"I can be a bad influence if you want." I say pulling him on the couch.

"No." he says kissing my neck. "You not that good."

I grab his dick. "Am I not?"

He kisses my lips. "Fuck yeah."

"What?"

"What?" he repeats.

I laugh really hard. "Too much blood rushing through your mind for you to keep up?"

He stares at me. "Fuck it. I don't know."

"You have to leave in a few minutes."

"We can do a lot in that time." he says grinding against me.

I laugh. "We aren't alone."

He smiles. "Oh."

"Yeah." I chuckle.

"You started the shit. You got me hard as fuck."

I sit up pushing him back. "That bathroom right there."

"A bat..." he stands up. "Some fucking angel you are."

"Not once did I say that." I giggle.

He pulls me up then picks me up. "I know I've told you how beautiful you are."

I shake my head. "I don't think you have."

"You are beautiful." he says carrying me to the bathroom.

"Says the man about to fuck me." I whisper then pull both of his ears.

He chuckles. "I'm your man, though. I can do that. Like suddenly remembering why I love you."

"While getting ready to fuck in a bathroom." I laugh.

"Yes, on a cold damp sink with mold growing underneath."

He sits me on the counter then closes the door. We do better than I thought we would. I love the fact that after a few months of trying not to be friends we fall back into being friends. The down side is when he wants to get a little stupid out his mouth with friends thinking I'm a friend. But me leaving put him in his place. If only for a while.

"How long do we have?" he asks taking his shirt off.

"30 or 40 maybe?"

"Somebody will come find me." he says grabbing my sides. "I love you, Amber."

I kiss his lips. "Don't say my name bitch."

He laughs in between kisses. I pull him in closer. This feels so right.

  Cammie

I throw the fork at Rollie.

"Yo." he says after it hits him. "You fucking childish."

"Fuck you."

He comes over and snatch the plate. "You've been fucking eating out of styrofoam boxes for two days but when I bring your ass some real food you want to act ungrateful."

"Rollie." I snap then cover my face.

"No, fucking Rollie shit." he says.

"Sorry." I say trying to stop crying.

He kneels down in front of me. "What is it?"

"Everything." I cry.

"You got to fucking take it out on the food?"

I wipe my face. "You don't understand."

There's a tap from the nurse's entrance. The door opens. "Mrs. Neverson."

"What?" I snap.

"You have a package in the next room." Paul says. He is my bodyguard.

I stand up with my arms folded across my chest. He stands there waiting on me. I take my time getting across the room to the door. He had a gentle smile on his face. Matter fact he always has that smile on his face. I step into the security room with him. In the middle of the floor is a big box. I walk around it trying to figure out what could be in this box. I snatch the ribbon trying to untie it. It causes everything to come loose and the sides of the box collapses. I laugh. It's a life size cutout of Trey and Lane.

"This is ridiculous." I giggle.

"What the hell?" Rollie says coming in the room. "Leave it to a famous nigga to think someone would want a life sized image of them."

I hug it. "I like it."

Rollie stands next to it. "Jay, this is awkward."

"Doesn't Lane look handsome?"

"He looks just like his uncle. Damn, them genes strong."

"Yeah those jeans are strong." I laugh.

He chuckles. "I guess you will have Trey and Lane in here with you tonight."

I laugh. "Who really sends some crazy mess like this though? It is a bit much."

"Your real present is here." Paul says handing me a small box.

"Thank you, Paul."

I open the letter attached. "I saw this in a store and couldn't stop thinking about you."

"That would have funny on this thing." Rollie laughs.

"Rollie hush."

I open the small box. It's a tiny glass giraffe with gold spots over its body and diamond eyes. I smile and take it out of the box. I don't have very many other sculptures that aren't elephants. I hold it up closer to the light. It is beautiful regardless of what it is.

"That is pretty." Rollie says.

"Yes." I nod placing it in the box.

Rollie opens a second box. "French chocolate."

I snatch it from him. "I'm not sharing with you."

"Suddenly shun a brotha."

"Oh please." I say smelling the chocolate. "Caden still doesn't have a middle name."

Rollie smiles. "Chocolate."

"Oh shut up. His first name has meaning should I give his middle name meaning? I mean a middle name with meaning?"

"No. Name him after Dad."

I walk back to the room. "Caden Elijah Neverson? What does Elijah mean?"

Rollie shrugs. "Ask your phone not me."

I call Trey.

"Jay." He says loud. "Everything okay?"

"Yes."

He says something away from the phone. "What's on your mind?"

"Why you say that?"

"Cause you calling during my interview. You usually remember unless you have something to say or something is wrong. I'm at the radio interview."

I gasp then giggle. "Oh, call me back."

"We already on the phone."

"What about Elijah for the middle name?"

He doesn't answer right away. I get a little sad inside. I was already attached to the name. Caden Elijah Neverson. I don't know what I would pick after that. I didn't even come up with that.

"Isn't that your father's name?"

"Yeah. You hate it don't you?"

"No." he says really fast. "I like it. I love it if you like it. Caden Elijah."

I smile. "Okay, call me after the interview."

"Somebody wants to talk to you."

"Hey, Mommy." Lane says.

"Hey."

He giggles. "Mommy said hey."

"Who you talking to?"

"A dog." Trey says into the phone.

"Mommy the Booty said hey."

Trey laughs really loud. "Moody. Named after the Harry Potter character."

"Like I know who that is." I say.

"I'll be back Lane." Trey says. "Jay?"

I get a little sad. "You have to go?"

He pauses. "No. I wrote you a song."

"That's nothing new."

"I'm going to put it on Instagram. Oh, I have an album to do. My team thinks it okay for you to pick the final songs for the album."

I smile. "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean they pick the list but you have the final say."

"And I get to pick your style for the album?"

He chuckles. "What do you want?"

"The pre Ready Trey Songz."

"Okay." he chuckles.

I couldn't stop smiling. "I'm excited about that."

"Maybe you will do a song with me."

"Maybe not. I'm not a singer and I don't want offers to sing."

"You no fun."

I laugh. "You can write a song worthy enough for me to do a video to."

"I damn sure fucking will."

"That 3 word sentence needed all that."

"Shut up." he says.

I walk over to the baby. "I can't wait to breastfeed tomorrow."

Trey laughs. "Record it."

"No." I snap. Caden opens one eye. "I wanna close my eyes and everything be my way."

"Close them long enough and it will."

"Why don't you have to get back to your interview?"

"Cause I run shit."

I smile. "Call me back."

"Okay, love you."

"Yeah yeah. I think I love you."

“I’m not trying to sell your friend here anything.”

Isha looks him up and down. “Oh.”

He is not cute with his little ass feet and ugly ass clothes. He looks ridiculous. I look around trying to figure out exactly where I am going to go next. Damn, one ugly nigga can mess up your whole mall trip. I blankly start walking away from him without a word to Isha. Just like I thought she would be she is right there at my side. She knows that he was far away from my standards. I stop in front of a store.

“Boots.” I say putting my hands on my hip. “Is it too warm for boots?”

“Yes.”

I turn around in fear that this nigga followed me. “Oh, Jamaal.”

“Oh, me.” he says.

“Why are you at the same mall as me? I’m tired of looking at your face.”

Isha giggles. “How can you honestly get tired of that handsome boy band face. Jamaal, why is it that you look like you were from 112 or BlackStreet Boys. Jagged Edge?”

He gives her a funny look. “Want to hear some gossip?”

“You know I’m all for gossip.”

“Trey…”

“Which Trey?”

He gets a little closer. “Come on. Trey. He is in Europe touring while Cammie is in the hosiptal with their baby.”

“Wait…” I snap fumbling for my phone. “Don’t tell me you hear some shit I don’t know about my people.”

“It’s a baby boy. Born a month and a half premature.”

I call Hidia. “Bitch, where Cammie?”

“Cammie?”

“You talked to her when?”

She sucks her teeth. “Like last week after… Oh.” she pauses. “I got some news.”

“Oh, kill yourself. Where is she?”

“They won’t tell us where she is. I mean he in the NICU so I’m not pressed about going to see him. I’ll wait until the baby reveal party in a few weeks. You know when he comes home. I meant to call you. She says she not really telling anybody and she would like not to be bothered with calls. He doing okay for his situation.”

“I feel like shit. I was so wrapped up in myself last week.”

She giggles. “Girl, people got lives. Cammie ain’t holding shit against you for staying out her business.”

“Damn, but he in Europe. What she say about that?”

“Nothing too much… Oh at the time he was there. I found out from Mommy and called Cammie. She didn’t talk long. You good?”

I sigh. “Yeah, I’m glad it ain’t nothing serious and I missed it.”

“I wouldn’t have let you miss something serious. Like I said she being lowkey.”

“Yeah. You said Trey was there for it?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s always good, stupid bitch.”

She laughs really hard. “Well fly then bitch.”

I hang up the phone. “Now I know more than you.”

“What do you know?” Isha asks.

“From what Di said she is in the hospital with the baby. Trey was there for everything. Your source got it a bit wrong.” I say putting my hand up to Jamaal’s face.

He shrugs a bit. “Gossip is gossip. Juicer when it’s full.”

“Wait pussy or fruit?” Isha laughs.

“somebody should have encouraged common sense.” Jamaal says.

It seems like she loves being talked to like shit. She ignores it. I’m not fighting her battle against Jamaal’s stupid ass. All she is going to do is encourage her to keep talking shit. I look into Jamaal’s bag. I don’t really know what to say about us. I feel like we stuck is the middle of nothing. It’s never going to go forward or backwards. He is the same old slick mouth gay ass Jamaal.

“What are you doing here with these ugly clothes?”

“I’m trying to find shoes. This is a very…”

I put up my hand. “Like I tell my father very is a bullshitter’s buffer for the bullshit they trying to pass as cake.”

“I became your father at what point?” He says offended.

“Humor someone else.” I say snatching his bag. “Now let’s go back down to this bargain ass store and make you look like a real man.”

He makes a face but doesn’t object the idea. He knows that this shit he has in this bag is ugly. The shirt looks like it came out of a Walmart clearance buggy. It looks faded and worn. I pray that ain’t how it is supposed to look. We walk into the store he got the shirt from. Thank God the whole store doesn’t look like this shit.

“Do you tailor your suits?” I say speaking out loud to no one in particular.

“No. We don’t.”

I take the shirt out of the bag. “He pays $129 for a shirt that may not fit the way that it should fit?”

“We do offer to take measurements.” some other guy sys coming up.

“You need to train your co-worker over there because that is a part of tailoring. Has he been measured? Could we get him measured?”

He walks away. “Yes, we can.”

“I’m going across the way.” Isha says looking between me and Jamaal. “Jagged Edge? You sure we shouldn’t be concerned about you stalking my girl?”

“Go.” Jamaal says flipping through some pants.

“Why you so nonchalant about me picking out your clothes?” I snap at him.

He gives up trying to look busy with the pants. “You are an image consultant.’

“And you a street nigga wanting to look good?”

“Take the silver pacifier out of your mouth.”

“It helps me suck dick better.” I hiss under my breath.

It takes him a few extra seconds to put together what I said. I have a good laugh with myself. It does shut him up with his trash talking. That and the man measuring his uncomfortably. I wait for the man to give me his size. You can’t buy dress suits without being measured to see how you fit them. Even down to a simple shirt whether it is joined together with a suit. After getting his information I find him something that better fits his boy band look. Isha is right about that. I fit him with a slightly bigger size than normal and make sure the pants weren’t skinny leg.

“How do you like yourself?” I ask as he looks at the outfit all together.

“It doesn’t really matter.”

I put my hands on my hip. “Do we have to go back to elementary school lessons on self worth?”

“Don’t be funny. I’m talking about the look. It’s different. I wanted something different.”

“It’s sexy.” I retort.

He licks his lips. “I know this much.”

I roll my eyes. “Airhead.”

“It’s sexy.” he says touching my lower back and kissing my cheek. “Thank you.”

“What’s the special occasion?”

“A night in the town with a pretty woman.” he says then close the door.

I pissed off. I’m not helping you look good for some date. Shit I already did it. Can’t do shit about it now. He does look handsome in the outfit.

Trey

I show Lane the flash card that I had. He rolls his eyes at me. Bad ass little boy. He wanted to read the one that he had in his hand instead of the one that I had in my hand. I take it out his hand once again and show him the flashcard. He stares at it like he doesn’t know what it is. I pick up the one that he had and hold it up for him.

“Stop.” he says really fast.

“You can read that one but not this one? What does this say?”

He sighs. “Car.”

“What does this say?” I ask holding up a new word.

“I like stop.” he says looking for it.

I hold stop up yet again. “What is this?”

“Stop.” he says proudly.

“What color is this?”

“Yellow.” he says. “That stop sign red.”

We aren’t getting anywhere. I give him the stop card. He picks up another card then puts it in his stash that he has beside him. They are the cards that he like. He only knows bout 20 of them. Each day we add one card. We started with 5. He likes to do this.

“What do you have?”

“Yes.” he says. He picks one from his stash. “Which.”

I chuckle. I think he knows enough to impress Cammie. I call her. She should be just waking up.

“Love.”

“You hear the baby?” she giggles.

I listen to the back ground. “I hear him a little bit. What’s wrong with him?”

“He is getting wiped down and being ridiculous.”

“And it doesn’t hurt him?”

“No, Tremaine.” she laughs. “His nervous system is fine. He is faking.”

I press the video button. “Let me see him.”

She smiles at the camera then turn it. The nurse had him naked under the light wiping him slowly. She lifts is his legs then put his diaper on. Lane stops stacking the cards and looks up at me. He stares for a few seconds then goes back to what he is doing. He doesn’t care for Caden at all. I smile at Cammie’s face. She seemed happier than yesterday.

“Did you talk to the doctor?”

“This morning at like 6. He came in to check the results of the PKU test. So far he has done good on all the test. The doctor is worried about his weight. He says that I can try to breastfeed tomorrow. I won’t be able to exclusively breastfeed because he needs to gain weight so he needs formula with lots of vitamins.”

“Anything is good. As long as you get to hold him once a day.”

She smiles a bit. “Where is Lane?”

I turn the camera to him. “Lane, Mommy.”

“I busy.” he says.

“Busy doing what?” she snaps. “You too busy to talk to your Mama little boy?”

He smiles. “Hey, Mommy.”

She rolls her eyes. “Hey, Lane. What are you doing?”

“Read.”

“You reading?” she giggles thinking he being funny.

I hold up the word stop. “What is this?”

He looks up. “Stop.” he reaches his hand out. “That mine.”

“All of them are yours. Tell your mother what they say.”

“Cat. Stop. Dylan. That my name. Dylan. Stop. Up. Get down. Down. Look Mommy. It a bird. Yellow!” he says throwing the card. “Mommy, that a Caden?”

Cammie looks away from the camera. “Yes, Caden. You want to see Caden?”

“No.”

“We have been reading.” I say.

“I see that. How did you get him to learn them so fast?”

I shrug. “He remembered what I said. I told him what they say then he started telling me what they say. Lane go get your book.”

He crawls really fast to go get it. He loves the book. It’s where we got the flashcards from. They were attached to it with a blank on for his name. He brings the book back. He loves it because he can read it now.

“Work. Dog. Work.” Lane says excitedly.

“Oh my gosh.” Cammie says crying. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

Lane sits down beside me. “Work. Dog. Work.”

“He doesn’t actually read it, Jay. You are going to cry about it?”

“You can’t teach my baby how to read.” she says teary eyed.

I smile. “You can’t do everything. We were bored so I went to the store.”

“The dog work on the road?” Lane says flipping through the book. “Work, Dog. Work.”

“I’m not feeling this one on one do shit without Mommy thing going on here.”

I laugh. “I do love you.”

“Take me off this video thing.” she says covering it.

“Why?” I ask but take it off. “I can’t see your beautiful face. And I like your hair”

“MiMi did it. It’s alright. Disney keep sending me emails trying to find out if I am going to let them throw me a baby reveal party. I’m not even thinking about that. They don’t know that the babies are here already.”

I stop Lane from stuffing the cards into the book. “We need to talk about that. Do you have an idea about what you want to do? As far as announcing him.”

“When he goes home then we will decide something. I don’t want to deal with the worst case scenario with the whole world. They not going through this with me no matter how supportive some might be.”

“I can dig that.”

She sighs. “I miss you. Yes?”

“Who s that?”

“The nurse.” she yawns. “He still has to be fed ever two hours just as if he weren’t hooked up to any of those tubes. I might sleep in the security room with Rollie tonight. They won’t let me do the feedings myself so why do I have to wake up each time?”

“Why does Rollie sleep in the security room?”

“They have two beds in there. This room only have one.”

I nod. “I thought that he was the security person. I know I was specific about what I wanted.”

“No.”

“Where is my mama?”

She giggles. “Our mama is going to the spa to relax. She says that she was so stressed this week. So Rollie took her to the spa early this morning.”

“I love you.”

Lane gets all up in my face. “I tell Mama. I talk to Mommy.”

“Here.”

“Mommy. I love you, Mommy. I being good. No I don’t miss my bed. I miss Mommy. Yes. I having fun. Yes. I go eat burgers. I eat pizza. Me go with Drake. Drake eat pizza. Yeah. Yes. What you eat Mommy? Yes. Love you.”

I take the phone from him. “Jay?”

“I’m here. Was he saying that he goes with Drake?”

“Yeah. They stay in the hotel most times. Sometimes Drake be up here with him and Buggiz.”

She yawns. “I need to call Buggiz.”

“No you don’t.”

“I wish you were in the states and I could just come see you for a few hours and be back here. I feel so useless.”

I suck up my grief for her sake. I would love to fucking be with her. All of this shit in between us constantly. I want to tell her that she should be here. She has never been on tour with me. It seems ike i’m always the one coming to her events and shit. I can’t be that person right now. i have to be the one that strengths her. I kiss the phone.

“Your presence means so fucking much. I know he appreciates every time that you touch him during the day. He can’t talk. His not screaming when you touch him is his way of letting you know. The teacher lady says that he knows you by your smell and touch.”

“Oh yeah. How is that going?”

I let Lane wiggle his way between me and the phone. “It’s going good. I’m learning more about Lane then anything I feel like. There’s not much to get but pooping and crying with Caden.”

“I know he knows I’m here. I just want to care for my baby myself.”

“Well go to school to be a nurse.”

She giggles. “Well I’m sure you the medical field you can’t care for family members like that. You know, I would be less willing to face the truth.”

“I didn’t ask for your smarts. Don’t need any change.”

“Oh you are so corny.” she sucks her teeth.

I smile. “Yeah. I am.”

She laughs just a little. “I’ve been afraid to take pictures but I think I’m going to take a few. Tremaine?”

“Yes.”

“Can you send MiMI something? I don’t know what to send but she has been really helpful and I’ve been… you know. What would she want?”

“"Jay, she is your friend.”

She blows into the phone. “Yeah but I don’t know what’s going on in her life. We always talking bout me. I feel selfish.”

“You got a great friend. She knows your true feelings. I’ll think of something to send her.”

“Thanks. I’ll forget.”

I text CiCi telling her to do it. I don’t have the time or energy to figure out what MiMi needs in her life. The way Dee’s business has been doing she shouldn’t be in ‘need’ of much.

“Lane is so quiet.” she yawns.

“He is sleep.”

“I fall asleep on you didn’t I?” she giggles.

I chuckle at her tone of voice. “You did.”

“I feel so numb inside.”

“You should after delivering a head a few days again.”

She laughs really hard. “You need to shut up. Caden is going to be two weeks old in a few days.”

“I’m going to send him a birthday gift.”

“For what?” she snaps.

I laugh. “A set of nipples.”

“Only nipples he needs are here.”

“Your nipples?” I say being serious.

“Tremaine.” she says then blows. “You making everything sexual. The hospital… He doesn’t even suck on nipples yet.”

I laugh. “Okay,Jay. You win.”

“You just want to talk about my nipples. You know I might not be able to ever breastfeed like I did with Lane. The nurse was saying that once he is off of the feeding tube he might not be exclusively on breast milk.”

“What will it… Oh I know that. There’s bonding and shit that goes on.”

“Yeap that shit.” she yawns. “Maine, I’m going to sleep okay. You stay on the phone.”

I connect it to the video call. “Sit the phone where I can see you.”

“How about you watch Caden?” she says sitting it down.

“I didn’t know you were next to him.”

“I moved over here just now. This is my nap chair.”

I smile at him. “Touch him.”

She reaches out and touches his stomach. “He is sleeping. It’s hard to tell whether he is doing to be a quiet baby or not. I wish I get him home and he stays like this. Sleeping quietly or just chilling quietly.”

“How was Lane?”

“Quiet for a few months. He started getting interested in what JJ was doing and that was it. Crawling and screaming about nothing. He became very demanding.”

I chuckle. “Wonder why?”

“Don’t try it.”

“Jay…” I lay down with Lane still in my arms.

“How long before you go on stage?”