#10.4.16

I guess there was no start or finish. I don’t even know what does that mean. It all began where everything ended. I didn’t even knew what that meant. I wasn’t important. I felt insignificant. There were friends I had that didn’t even credit me, weren’t even proud of me, threw shade in my absence. But of course in time that weeded out. I just wanted to I don’t know....feel important, and to let the audience knew that I was.

I got desperate, I almost had to tell my friends jokingly “Say that I’m the best!” To certain friends it were definitely true. And friends became more receptive to that play-along. I like being credited to everyone, I like feeling centered. Because at one point, I felt like nothing....well there were many multiple points.

I loved Bboying, it felt like being a gladiator. Taking on someone in the ring and destroying them hearing the crowd go nuts. Then being talked about through the audience, rumors spread like wild fire..... “King Rewind, slain another man”

In time it all became petty I guess....but I hold the importance. And I wonder why. Why is it important to me? It shouldn’t be. Its just....for the world. Its for others. I guess my business is my business right? What does that even mean though....

It began where everything ended. I was in her arms, where it all began, it ended all in this room, lost memories, scrambling head hurting, feeling lost, praying to God, crying my eyes out, confused.... looking for warmth. But it began....in her arms. So warm, so gentle, I felt important. And that’s enough, that reminder is good enough for me. I could be important to one amazing person than a whole audience. She is the world, the world is more than a Colosseum, she is my audience, she can watch me dance for days and her voice will echo through time as my roaring crowd. I could showcase anything and she’ll be proud of me. She’ll gladly spread the tale to others and let me know of my importance. But what does that mean?

It means, I am safe within this feeling of lack of importance. But what does that mean? It’ll eventually end, where it all began. In her arms, the next day we are with each other, to end all the lack of importance and the importance of the pettiness I used to cling to.