#10.30.16

As we leave from one house to the next,

we leave behind evidence like a text.

The faint scent of dead skunk and ash

is stuck in the carpet and trash

that never made it to the bin is caught

beneath crawl spaces, small places. We thought

perhaps we’d left our old ghosts at the old place,

but we were wrong: they just got a new face.

Old habits die hard as our livers die quicker

by the hands of some rum and that good old liquor.

But are we killing ourselves to drown out the ghosts?

Or are we kidding ourselves? You know the ego boasts.

Pride put broken glass under the stove.

And feelings fucked the walls up. Clumsy fingers wove

the fragments of fragmented memories together in a quilt

that barely warmed our frozen hearts– the ones that we built

to weather this storm that always seemed to be ready

to fall on our heads with a rhythm so steady.

We leave one shelter to run to the next

let’s hope we outrun the demons.

Location: OMFG Date: ~3am October 30th, 2016 Availability: @byreticence

After being dragged out with claws out earlier in the evening, Magda was unceremoniously dropped outside the door of OMFG, all but kicked out of the car. Satan didn’t even drop her off; he hired a cab to do it. She’d asked for OMFG because she couldn’t imagine going home alone right now, not yet, but on the other hand, as she tried to stand, shakily on bruised fawn legs, she looked at those doors as if they were insurmountable. Roadkill, the bouncer, eyed her with a stern kindness, offering his hand to help her up. It was so hard to walk inside, but she needed to. She needed something to wash the taste of apple and vomit out of her mouth. She hated him for that, too: for the stain the experience would now carry for her, at least for awhile, that she wouldn’t be able to shake. Before, Magda hadn’t loved doing prophecies, but it had been her cross to bear, her feelings about it. Never had she had someone else’s corruption on it.

With a deep breath, she walked into the club and was assaulted by the stark darkness and the neon. Momentarily shielding her eyes, she hit her cheekbone with the back of her hand and it slowly dawned on her that she would shortly have a black eye. But she had to find Raziel, had to tell him what happened before—she didn’t know what. Before she locked herself away? Before she forgot? Before she turned all the mirrors in her apartment around and wondered why she was still breathing? Before she got too selfish and abandoned her family? She wouldn’t do that, she would never do that, it wasn’t just her family depending on her, she had answers no one else had and they didn’t know how much was at stake but they were alive and that meant, above all else, some shit bigger than this was coming for them. Magda had to get her backbone straight, had to put a smile around her bleeding gums, had to find her boss.

At home on stage…and on a two-wheel or four-wheel 👏👏

Thanks to the wonderful people I met last night and today at Hedwig, and thanks to Darren for being such an incredible performer and person!