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Non è facile tener fuori dalla propria vita persone verso cui si prova qualcosa (affetto, amore, attrazione fisica o tutte e tre).
Devo però saper rinunciare a chi mi toglie pezzi di felicità senza darmi niente in cambio. Non vale la pena avere accanto una persona così. Circondarsi di persone che mi fanno stare bene sempre, non solo quando gira a loro, dovrebbe essere la priorità.
Ma soprattutto, la più grande priorità nella mia vita devo essere sempre e solo io.
Imparare a volersi bene è difficile quando si ha un passato come il mio, io non so se mi voglio bene abbastanza, non so come si fa ad amarsi.
Come posso amare qualcuno, come posso lasciare che qualcuno mi ami se sono io la prima a non amare me stessa?
This has been a long overdue post, but thankfully I finally got the time to sit down and write a blog post. A lot has happened for the past few months, such as election campaigns, final examinations, and a lot more which kept my schedule busy. It has been a hell of a year for me in college, and along the way, I brought along four lessons with me that I wanted to share.
1. INDEPENDENCE
Probably the most cliché, but apparently college is one of the huge factors that would teach you how to be independent. Living in a dorm on weekdays has taught me how to make myself survive with a given budget or allowance. It was tough living alone at first, thinking of what I had to eat for every meal making sure that my money will last until the end of the week. It wasn’t just living in a dorm that taught me independence but also the academic life. It is inevitable to encounter college professors who do not do their job of teaching well. There are some professors who, for some reason, get lazy to teach. So, you have to do all the learning by yourself. Unlike in high school, where our teachers provide us every lesson we need. It is honestly quite relaxing and fulfilling to earn independence because I grew and knew more about myself that I didn’t know about while living with my parents. I had that glorious feeling of no one having to tell me what to do and not do.
2. SELFLESS LEADERSHIP
It was in college that I learned I had the potential of becoming a student leader. Back in high school, I was the type of student who did not get involved much in school events/projects and just stayed on the sidelines. During my first term in college, I joined an organization that trained students to be skilled leaders. It was also from that org that I gained my well-loved college friends, or even better, a family. They taught and pushed me to realize that I had a sense of leadership in me. True enough, I did and still do enjoy being a servant leader for others. Currently, I am part of my college’s student government, and I have learned to love it.
3. NOT ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDSHIPS LAST
It’s true, and that’s okay. Graduating from high school and entering different colleges can be difficult for friends to stay in touch due to clashing schedules. Some friendships will work out fine and still find the time to be able to catch up, while some will sadly fade away. Even if you try to catch up with them, somehow, fate won’t agree with you, and that’s alright. I am still beyond thankful to those people who are still a part of my life. You all know who you are and I truly appreciate you for sticking by with me.
4. SELF-LOVE
Throughout first year I’ve heard news about friends getting into relationships while I am still pretty much single as hell in this world. It was pressuring at first, but then I thought to myself that romantic relationships weren’t something to be rushed. I did meet a few people and may have had moments with them, but somehow things did not work out the way we hoped it to be. After those times, I learned that it might be best to start focusing on myself; helping myself grow and be better. I felt way happier than ever to see a whole new me develop. The new me, the college girl Anna, experienced a completely different path. As I said, I wasn't much of student leader before, but now I am. I wasn't also an academic achiever back in high school, but I managed to be on the Dean’s List. I achieved these things because I allowed myself to be more positive and be more committed to myself.
It's sometimes better to commit to yourself because no one else would shape you into becoming a better version of yourself than you alone.
