#1.7.19

Official: Kovačić joins Chelsea permanently | July 1, 2019 Real Madrid have confirmed midfielder Mateo Kovačić will join Chelsea on a permanent deal. He has joined the club on a five-year contract for a reported €50 million fee.

es ist nun aber so dass sich in meinem leben die frage nach einem brennfleck noch niemals stellte.

selbst bei keiner der zahllosen röntgenaufnahmen die von mir irgendwo gemacht wurden war mir jemals gewahr dass ein brennfleck eine rolle spielen könnte.

das ist es was eine lebenszeit immer auch auszeichnet - zu leben als wäre das was man lebt das leben und dabei zu ignorieren dass alles andere auch leben ist selbst dann wenn es nicht organisch lebt.

I still haven't watched Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

As I mentioned earlier, I had my initial assessment with a professional counselor today. She asked questions, I gave answers, but there is definitely more for us to talk about.

I had a couple of things she said that kind of stuck with me today that were kind of "duh" moments for me:

I need to work on being a better advocate for myself and put myself first.

Sometimes when you live inside your head, it can be helpful because it gives you some really good self awareness and insight.

We'll start meeting weekly, with a goal of not needing to meet after some (as of yet undetermined time) and she gave me some "homework" for next week:

I need to prioritize what I want to talk about with her, plus she gave me a mindfulness exercise to work on when I'm not feeling anxious so it becomes second nature.

We had a good rapport, and I'm loot forward to learning more ways to deal with some of what I'm feeling.

[[ The muse babies are NOT part of the au. They are just something I'm doing for fun to get practice with drawing small children. After finishing the babies, I plan on ending the role swap event and moving on to the marriage arc, something I hinted in the new icon ;) ]]