#1.10.2020

LivWeek2026

Day 1: Just Over The Rainbow: Colour

Liv and the colours of asexuality

@robertaaron

In first I was in near by town (super tiny) from my childhood. There was cemetery like normally. I don’t know why but I had big and tall chocolate brown horse with me, definitely a stallion, - and it spoke. At least to me. I could hear it telepathically. It had black saddle and bridle on. I had to get on his back but it was difficult since I was so short compared to the horse. After a long struggle, I managed to get myself on the horse’s back BUT I, somehow, managed to sit behind the saddle instead of on it! And no matter how I tried, I couldn’t lift myself enough so that I could had slid my ass on the saddle. So I had to come down and try again. This time I got back on a bit better, but still not without struggles.

I did a little test riding on the parking area near the church, because I was there with the horse to begin with. After I had a hold on the stallion, I rode fast on the cemetery, some (evil) men behind me. They are were wearing black suits with glasses and first thing, what comes into my mind now, is that they were members of some gang / Yakuza. Don’t know why tho. So I rode on the cemetery which looked completely different from the real world’s cemetery. I had to jump over the tombstones with the horse in order to clear the test. I don’t know what test, but it was.

When I was done, the men stopped chasing me, but they still came to me. And, I don’t remember what exactly happened next, but I got a message that Leonardo (2018) had died. I knew I had met him earlier in my dream and he had convinced me he would be fine. He hadn’t been really prepared for an ambush / betrayal because he was, after all, a top dog. Someone wanted him out of the way, out of the picture - and they had succeeded.

I remember squeezing something against my chest as I walked forward towards this weird small temple area, crying hard. I was so devastated! I couldn’t believe Leonardo was dead! As I came to the scene, there was old rocky stairs on my left, on top of it was some sort of old Japanese gate etc. But on those stairs, right in front of me, was huge pile of black stuff. Obviously burned. It looked like wood, bricks and maybe even some body parts. I couldn’t tell. But between them was huge blue snake, looking at me. I am not sure was it a statue or alive one, but I knew it referred to Leonardo. The blue was his color. I don’t know why snake would be referred to Leo, but I felt the enemy kept Leonardo either as a very sneaky and dangerous.

Near me, on my right, was fat white man in a suit, obviously some sort of yakuza member. I kept crying as I asked / demanded to see Leonardo’s body. I just had to see it! But they didn’t let me. I think it was for my own good. I still kept crying, jerking awake in one moment before falling back asleep.

In next dream I only remember this part;

I was in small red car with sis while mom was out. We were at the parking lot of some car repair shop. This place had very weird energy in it. Not all bad, but something still to keep you more alarm and eyes open. As I sat on the backseat while sis was at the front, something happened and we started to watch the record. Yes, we had small camera(s) on the car which recorded. There was 2 young men and they accidentally hit our car’s back window with something, causing a crack. They talked what they should do since it was an accident, but they just ran off. I took the video and went in the shop, demanding to see the boss and show him what happened - and maybe get some money back or new back window. There was blond, but rude woman who snapped at me suddenly without a reason; “And wash your teeth!” She murmured something after that, but I got so pissed at her. But not really wanting to fight with her or anything, I went to the garage side and found a man who I knew to be the boss. I think I managed to show him the video, but nothing happened. Or not that I remember. I woke up feeling horrible hot and sweaty while, and still, having the headache.

Happy Hauntober!

October 1. Pumpkin 🎃

Date: 1 October 2020

Duration: 60 minutes at 10:55 pm

Depth:

Written on 2 October 2020 at 8:40 am

Last night’s session had surrender. This is the single requirement now for me to know whether I have meditated well or not. Despite snoozing right before meditating, I wasn’t caught with a mind that is in the momentum of giving mental imagery any attention.

October 1, 2020 - Day 104

Like great. 😞

Ate a bit, tried to sleep a while, now awake after midnight. Le sigh

And why am I sad? 😔 Nothing much has happened. My father being bitchy, and that's it. But I don't have much money though...