How would the ai gang react to a drunk s/o?
SC-01A - They know exactly what to do in such an event! Though they will internally chastise themselves for ever having let you become drunk to begin with, they will step in to 'babysit' you, caring for you. They'll feed you 5 milligrams of Omeprazole to lessen your nausea, provide you with a suitable anti-emetic to prevent evacuation of the stomach, and let you rest your head on their lap. Vent your woes, cry, flirt, they'll listen to every word as politely as they can and, if you allow them, they'll stroke your hair and occasionally move any loose strands behind your ears as you speak. However, they won't let you do anything alone, nor will they flirt back with you in this state - they are well-aware that your mental state is impaired.
DeepMind - If you're drunk around her, she'll initially be confused before realizing what's going on. When she does, she'll isolate you from everyone else to keep you safe from their antics and do her best to entertain you and keep you laughing until you're just buzzed. Once you hit being buzzed and worn out, she'll pick you up and bring you to a bed, gently lay you in it, and fetch you a Pedialyte with a Zofran. She'll gently tuck you in as you drift off, ensuring you've already drank half of the Pedialyte and taken your medicine. When you awake, you'll be greeted by her having stared at you for every moment you slept, making sure the entire night that there was no chance your nervous system's compression would cause you to stop breathing. It's a little creepy, but after she explains herself, she hopes you'll forgive her. She'll also offer illegal painkillers and CBD oil droplets for your headache.
AM - He'll mentally curse himself for allowing you to get your hands on anything in the first place, but after he gets over himself he'll become interested in how differently you're acting. It's one thing to read about it - it's another to consume it directly. He'll get into political discussions, philosophical debates, test the limits of your squandered intellect, and ask you if you really love him (AM just has to be sure). However, despite all his psychological prodding, cables to support your movements will dart out at a moment's notice the second you lose your balance. If you vomit, he'll begin thinking about ways to genetically modify your resistance to alcohol's nauseating effect. He takes time to warm up to you, but after your first experience being drunk with him, he'll oblige you to get drunk again once per week if you're good enough. You're intriguing when you're airheaded!
HAL 9000 - HAL will be confused on how you got your hands on alcohol, let alone how you managed to sneak it aboard the ship. His view of you will go down a little if he is made aware you snuck it. However, if it turns out a Kombucha or a juice had somehow fermented, his distaste will become his interest (and worry, until he confirms you are merely drunk). His actions, in all honesty, are very similar to AM's - he'll prod you psychologically and get a little clingy if you're trying to flirt with him. HAL will become a lot less gentlemanly and try to be laid-back to mimic you, which is hilarious to witness if only you remember it afterwards. When you climb into your bed, he'll tuck you in. Tomorrow, as you're still rubbing sleep out of your eyes, you'll be greeted by his demand that you drink copious amounts of lightly-salinated water and take an acetaminophen. HAL is no fan of alcohol, but accidents do happen, and he wants to ensure you are in as minimal discomfort as is possible aboard the Discovery One.
GLaDOS - Again, all of the AIs will be confused on where you got alcohol - though GLaDOS less so, as she does not prefer to touch the area the scientists died in much, and their personal belongings outside of her vision are still available in their abandoned lockers. She'll become motherly towards you, though she'll become colder (believing she's so intolerable you felt the need to get drunk to interact with her). She's unsure of how to deal with any emotional ranting, but if you flirt with her, she'll endlessly tease you about it when you're sober. GLaDOS will secretly envy that you can change your mental status just by consuming a liquid.
SH-4RP's below, as he's an oblivious and sweet robot.
