#0nair

The slippers belonging to Wenhan have been occupied by Minseo as her feet dangle off of the edge of the entrance to the house, himself by her side. They were sharing an afternoon together as he held her hand. Minseo confesses that she was feeling a little heartbroken, and so did he. So they agreed to be by each other’s side for the time being. No one would truly understand how she felt other than him. On most things.

“Do you think I’d ever have that?” Minseo feels his hand draw something— a character of some sort. She follows it.

“Someone loves you as much as you love them?” Wenhan’s words come out as a statement rather than curiosity, he finishes the lines on her palm. “A partner. Loyalty.”

There was a drop of tear on his skin, herself just letting the sadness wash over her. She felt annoyed being like this again— refusing to face him. “Bird..?” A soft chuckle. A bitter one as she guesses what he had traced. “What is it— sparrow?”

His hand cups her face, their foreheads rest against each other. There was a gentle grin on Wenhan’s lips while he erases the traces of her tears. “Sparrow, my air calligraphy is shit.”

She kisses his cheek, leaning down on his shoulder for comfort. She prefers no one else when it comes to things like this. He continues on as he leans his cheek down her head.

“I think you’ll have it… it might not be how you imagined it…”

~

“Wear it, just incase,” he muses, preparing to leave. The bracelet was subtle, odd looking and didn’t look like it belonged in their time. “Don’t do anything stupid while you’re alone here.”

“Sure,” she looks at it, still having a hard time wrapping her thoughts of this jewelry she was told was like a beacon— Minseo’s form waits by the door as Chaz wears his shoes. He couldn’t help but notice as the awkward pause was there. She sighs. “I promise not to do anything stupid while I’m alone here.”

“Good.” He stands, another pause before he realizes another pair of slippers were there. It implied she won’t be alone for long. “I’ll visit you again when I can. After Liverpool, maybe? To check up on you.”

“You can just call.”

“You don’t answer sometimes. And aside from that, you don’t tell me the truth. I’d have to see it for myself now.”

He was right. Minseo’s been terrible at keeping in contact with anyone lately. She was thankful. Another pause, “well— don’t forget to eat.”

It seemed like she wanted to say something before she raises a hand to wave goodbye. He does the same thing, with a smile and all.

~

“Mm— noona, I think you should just stay here.” Neo’s voice pipes up, chuckling a bit as Minseo returns it. “You’re just meant for the city.”

“Maybe in the future—“ she responds, taking a sip of her drink. They walk side by side as others, “who knows, maybe Santa might answer your wish this year?”

His face lights up as there was a hint Minseo will return to Seoul. But there was also a different message she laced it with. “I look forward to it. After all, you’ll be here for my wedding, right?”

A soft hand on his back, she felt welcomed to invitation. She smiles gently, nodding at the exchange.

~

“You know— you don’t have to keep baking for me—“ she chuckles as Sangmi stacks bread in front of her “Give it to your other friends?”

“I already have— you take it.” She argues, and last stack of it was pushed to her side of the table as Minseo thanks her, placing them back in the tote bag. Her fingers tap the table as Sangmi tries to extend the conversation. “Hey— are you alright? We haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“Oh you know, here and there.” She answers— not that there was really anything to say. “Listen… thank you, for all of this, really.”

“It’s what friends are for.” Her voice was gentle, trying to lighten the mood. Minseo never really thought she was ever close to sangmi, she only became acquainted with her because of Woori. But this was beyond what she had expected of her. Minseo’s heart was already locked away by the time everything had happened, and surely, looking at Sangmi felt painful for some reason. “But I do hope you come back to Seoul soon! And, permanently. Maybe we can have another spa night—?”

There was a gentle smile, nodding in agreement as she felt welcomed. For a moment her eyes avert to her hands before nodding.

“I’d like that.”

~

“Jiejie, that’s a lot of eggs—“ Xian haggled them to prevent them from falling while Minseo held Juju in her arms. A quick visit to him before travelling, she couldn’t help but think how he’s been since the accident. 

Xian must’ve caught on as he sees her looking at his hand. “It’s fine, how many times do I have to tell you that?”

She doesn’t respond and looks away before letting the cat go, inviting himself to sit on his chair and the younger one couldn’t help but immediately set up a small plate for her so they can eat the tiramisu she brought. The two don’t exchange as much words as she does with his older brother, as it seemed they were better at exchanging actions. He’s grown so much, it felt strange she actually meets up with him on his own. The first slice lands on her plate, before he serves himself. 

“I still can’t believe it has eggs--”

“We’re not talking about this--” 

~

“Here’s the recent files you asked for, also— heads up that your father’s pretty much still searching for you in Japan. I wouldn’t go there if I were you.” A lunch break with Matteo was always quick, but she opted to let Hyejung join as well. After all, they became her unofficial bodyguards. “Woori’s schedules won’t be late until the recording later tonight so Hyejung will accompany you.”

“Mm—“ half way through her chewing, Hyejung presents a child’s pill case and hands it to Minseo. She looks at her odd as they chuckle. “Figured you might get discouraged if Pororo is staring in to your soul.”

“Thoughtful.” She rolls her eyes before she too, eats. As a matter of fact, she was eating well compared before. The two notice. “Thank you. Both of you.”

“You’re eating well today.” Hyejung muses to the older one as Matteo just grins. “Someone visited?”

She only sighs, finishing the food quietly.

~

“Honestly… I don’t know— but if he’s ready, I’m ready!” Woori excitedly announces as she cuddled next to her. The two were sharing each other’s hopes for the next few years. “You’ll be my Maid of Honor, right?”

To be honest, Minseo hasn’t thought that far. She knows what she’s getting into, so whatever the outcome it would be too dangerous for her to know. She held her hand softly. Smiling at the thought of seeing her in a wedding dress, of who she could proudly call her sister. “Of course. I’d be honored, my dear.”

The girls talked about everything that night. From how their lives would be in the future, to how much have changed since they were little. They shared a laugh or two about decisions they’ve made, and we’re able to heal a little from what was lost.

“Hey…” she pipes up suddenly, Woori’s doe eyes look up to her. “Thank you, for caring.”

The younger one’s smile fades, knowing what she meant. But she just smiles again and sighs, nodding and accepting it.

~

From time to time, Minseo looks at people’s messages on how she’s doing before heading out. To remind herself that it’s not so bad. She wishes they always had a good day, hoping that whatever they are going through would somehow be easier if it won’t go by quickly.

“Your aunts and uncles are pestering me as always.” She speaks, her reflection on the glass being shown as she cleans up Jinwoo’s cubicle. There were many things left behind like toys and snacks. “I see that they are also spoiling you here, huh?” She chuckles, she was diligent in ensuring he had more space for the next few visitors. Minseo began to tell about her day with her friends whom Jinwoo had also liked.

“Watch over them for me, okay? You know how much they love you...” She speaks, putting him back and closes the glass door. Her palm on it before she goes off. “And me… so be their angel. Dont work too hard though, I dont want you getting tired, alright?” There was a soft gust of wind outside. "Looks like Uncle Wenhan's having a pretty tough week too. Get to him first, I'm sure he will appreciate a blessing or two."

She enters her car, sighing for a moment as she drives back to the countryside. The city becomes a small picture behind her, she smiles softly to herself, thinking how lucky she was despite everything else that had happened.

~

years ago

“You’re so beautiful!!” Woori exclaimed, looking at her cousin trying on her dress. “I like this one too—“

“Are you sure?” Minseo seemed undecided, the white pleats flow naturally around her. It was a sort of princess-style ball gown. Fluffy and big. Like the ones you see in fairytale books. “I feel like it’s too much—“

“Well, go big or go home, no?” She teases, easing her mind about the wedding. “We can look at other ones.”

“Ah… this is my 8th one…,” annoyed, she huffs out to the other “I wanna go home.”

“One more?“

So they pick a few more dresses. By the end of it all, Minseo and Woori’s hunt was not successful but agreed to try again with a different wedding store. The two settled at a park for the time being, where the soft wind calm them. It was a bit cold, but she had liked it that way. Her wedding is soon, though there seemed to be something off with the situation. Minseo couldn’t quite figure it out.

“Stop thinking about it,” she shot through her trance. “It’ll be okay, unnie.”

Minseo smiles, her reassurance made her feel better. She tried to shake things off but it’s still there. That worried feeling. She had always trusted her gut, but perhaps with all the stress she’s been receiving, she couldn’t help but overthink.

“I’m sorry,” she laughs it off before leaning to the other with a sigh. “You’ll be in my shoes one of these days, you know.”

“I know.” Woori puts an arm over her. “But guess what! I’ll be okay because you’re going to be with me, and you’ll do exactly what I’m doing now.” she suddenly pipes once more, taking an unpeeled boiled egg out of their basket. “Feelings are weird. You’re like this egg— after boiling from the water, which is all the preparing; that’s the hard shell you need to break out of—“ she cracks the egg on Minseo’s head, getting a yelp from her. “—soft on the inside. You’ll feel the softness once the wedding comes and you’ll be so happy— that happiness will be the deliciousness of the egg when you eat, don’t you agree?”

“That is the weirdest analogy for all of this—“

They laugh loudly amongst the picnic goers, and the younger one hands a boiled egg. Her words were now part of a core memory. Minseo and Woori waited for that day, with all the love and support for each other.

But the day never came. She was never able to break the shell and feel what she was expecting. Just emptiness. The wedding dress sits somewhere in the closet, never to be seen again.

~

“You know,” Minseo fishes something out of her purse. Two hard boiled eggs. “Someone once told me this feeling is like the boiled eggs.” Woori already began to smile, giggling softly as she takes an egg. “All this pressure is from the water… but once you crack the shell—“ in unison, they both crack an egg on their heads. “it’ll be soft and delicious inside when you eat it, just like the happiness you’ll feel after.”

The younger one’s eyes began to tear up. And then, Minseo’s.

“I’m so happy for you,” she speaks softly. Watching woori get married was one thing, but watching her grow up was also another. “I’m so happy that Xian is going to be part of our family… I promise to be nice.” She jokes, earning a nudge from Woori. There was love, overfilling from her heart. Long before they could finish their thoughts, the tears came. Happy tears.

The day was here and she watches on lovingly. The ceremony went smoothly, in between the joyful tears and the drunken laughters was a slow, but acknowledged, acceptance of healing. Minseo made sure that Woori got everything she had hoped for, and more. Being surrounded by love was more than enough for her to be happy, too. For a longer while, at least.

Minseo’s presence away from the crowd was soon joined by Wenhan, who offers his drink first thing after standing by her side. She accepts as they mirror each other in watching the party’s lively chatter. She watches her reflection on the dark liquid, before looking up to gently smile at him.

~ 

“I think your mom was just upset, because you know that you can’t be loud when she’s in her office.” Her hand soothes the boy’s head, his little sniffles heard in between. She was unpacking her bag at the time, just to sleep over for the night. “You remember how I told you that your mommy talks to big scary guys?”

“And that- and that she needs to use her big scary voice...” Jinwoo remembers, hugging Woori on lock because he was upset that his mother was mad forever. “But-- but auntie, I think mama is mad....”

“I promise, she’s not.” A kiss to try and make him feel better, he eventually stops crying and forgets the ordeal for a moment. “What do you say we make.... Nurungji!”

The excitement on the boy’s eyes could not be compared to anything. His eyes sparkled at the thought that Woori will make this magical piece of snack that he didn’t know was only made of scorched rice. It was probably because it was sprinkled with sugar, something Minseo would only rarely give him. 

The two make their way to the kitchen of the Choi house, Jinwoo happily helping Woori make the treat. She helps him scoop the rice, wash it, then place it in the stone pot she managed to dug up. It was a few moments of waiting so they decided to play ‘radio host’ and learn about what she does. 

“Ah yes~ Were gonna take a caller from,” brrrrrt brrrrrt 

“From Pluto!!-” the rice was cooked, promptly letting the bottom layer burn when she takes out the cooked rice

“From Pluto~!” Woori pretends to press buttons to connect Jinwoo to their pretend call. Her hand extends, taking queue has his little hands pick it up to place on his ear. “Hello Space man, what can I help you with?!”

“No, Auntie, I’m an alien!”

“Ah- okay- okay, Mr. Alien-!” 

They make a soft commentary of the rice cooking that Jinwoo’s giggling was getting too much. Minseo would’ve probably texted her by now that they’re being loud. They laugh loudly this time, the older one tells the other that they’re just gonna let the rice burn while he grabs the sugar up top his stool and on the counter to the cabinet. He wasn’t supposed to do that.

“Shh..! Your mom’s gonna be mad!” she makes an ugly angry face, to represent Minseo. Jinwoo only giggles as the sugar was grabbed but her face was seen by the actual Minseo, unfazed as the child promptly climbs down with the sugar and hides behind Woori.

“Choi Jinwoo, what did I tell you about climbing counters?” Her voice was stern. “Woori?”

“Ah, Minseo, it was me...” she takes the blow just because she felt that was the responsible thing to do. “We’re just making snacks...” 

The two looked like children who are about to be placed on the chopping block. Minseo tried not to smile as Jinwoo pouts. She bends down his eye-level, he was apologetic and she knew he was. “I’m sorry about earlier.” 

“It’s okay mama, Jinwoo is sorry too...” he hugs his mother, and it makes Woori melt. “Auntie and I are making nurungji...”

Woori was already scraping the stone pot, the freshly made scorched rice waiting to be eaten. He picks up Jinwoo and places him on the counter top, taking that queue to sprinkle sugar all over it. The trio break a piece for each other, and finally all was calm. The snack was well received, it was like a way that they all forgave each other and that the little mishaps were just a thing of the past. It was another love language. 

“Hey that’s too much sugar--”

“Oh just this once!” 

“Mama, just his once!!”

~ 

Minseo was sitting by the porch, the town was a small speckle in their view. There was a bowl of nurungji waiting for Woori as she sits by her side. She couldn’t help but feel out of place, because this time around she didn’t know what to say. It broke her to think of a memory like this because it was one of Jinwoo’s favorite snacks.

“You have to take care of yourself, you know.” she mentions, breaking a piece off. She takes a bite just to fill in her words and realizes that there was too much sugar on it. Just like how Jinwoo liked. She purses her lips with a brief pause. “If you don’t know where to start, I’m always here.”

The older one couldn’t answer. The grief was too heavy. She didn’t want to feel that anymore but not once did she ever think that she was going to outlive her own child. She could only sigh, because she was right. It can’t always be like this. She had to move on somehow. Woori had been a great support when no one else in her own family can hold it down. 

Her hand reaches out the bowl, breaking off a piece. She never really liked nurungji, the feeling of it getting stuck in her teeth was unpleasant. But she made them because her son loved it. “Let’s start here.” Her eyes gaze at the other, tapping her piece of nurungji with hers. They share a soft smile from what seemed like ages ago. 

It was going to be hard, but she wanted to move on, too.