I am, unfortunately, one of the slaves of capitalism frontliners working at a small tertiary hospital. Even though there aren't much cases where i live, i always feel dirty or filthy whenever i get home from work. Since we have contact with the emergency room staffs/nurses. Not knowing i could be bringing the virus anytime. Im afraid my pregnant sister, four-year-old nephew, and my mom (already 60) at home would get it from me.

I never bring my scrubs inside the house, i wear inner clothing making it easier for me to take it off, i put my shoes outside, i take a bath before going inside my room. I'm already tired of doing this shit. It's such a hassle, especially when i get off at 11pm.

I’m trying to put together the words for the emotions I’m feeling right now.

I am sad. I am sad for George Floyd who was senselessly murdered. I’m sad for his family that had to watch it and now live without their loved one. I am sad for America for being so broken and torn apart. I am sad for the inequality and mistreatment. I am sad because it has been far too long without justice for a system that is so shattered. I am sad for the voices who can no longer be heard.

But I am also angry. I am angry that a moment in time where everyone came together and agreed justice needed to be served, was twisted and used to destroy communities. I am angry because this is just adding to the divide some of us were working to mend. I am angry because protesting violence with violence only leads to more death and destruction. I am angry because I saw first hand how quickly a protest with such meaning and support was turned into careless acts of crime and crime alone.

To the protesters, thank you for standing up and speaking out.

However, last night when the sun went away so did the protesters. Last night was not about George Floyd or Black Lives Matter.

Looting the mall, jewelry stores, cell phone stores, atms, and setting businesses on fire, etc. isn’t about any of that. That’s crime people are attempting to justify by throwing a cause over it. That is using a situation which could have been used so easily to bring people together, for the agenda of stealing and destruction.

If you want to know what last night in Tampa was like, watch The Purge - with a little less murder and a whole lot more destruction.

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