#05052020

A comfortable silence falls upon you two. Jisung turns his head slightly to look at you as you keep gazing at the sky.

“Do you think she’s up there?” you wonder.

“Who?”

You pull up your sleeve.

Jisung bites his lip. “I think so.”

“Want me to deliver any messages?”

“Y/N…” he warns.

“Well?” 

He turns around and leans back with a sigh. “Maybe… that I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not saving her in time.”

You raise a brow but don’t press further. “I’m sure she never blamed you.”

“How do you know that?”

“You’re soulmates,” you answer. “A perfectly compatible pair. You don’t seem like the type who would blame her if your roles were reversed, so she wouldn’t either.”

He frowns, not entirely convinced. He gnaws on his cheek for a moment before saying, “Then help me apologize for one more thing.”

You tilt your head.

“For loving someone else.”

You remember your conversation at Jolly Land. You scoff humorously and roll your eyes. “It’s been years and you still haven’t asked her out or told anyone who it is. I’m starting to doubt if there’s actually someone.”

“I’m pretty sure the boys already know.”

“Oh really? Then who is it?”

He blinks at you thrice.

“Y--”

“Jisung! Y/N! Time to assign rooms!” someone calls from the inside.

Jisung gives you a sheepish smile and turns towards the voice.

Because all the other girls in your group were adamant about spending their night on a cruise ship with their significant other, you end up having to room with your own soulmate. Thankfully, Chan got you a room with separate beds. 

The arrangement turns out favorable. As Hyunjin is reading to his daughter a bedtime story, a knock sounds at the door, beckoning for the male.

“Hyunjin?” It’s Jisung. “I need to see you for a minute.”

You look at each other, wondering what could be wrong.

“I got it,” you tell him, taking the picture book from his hands.

Hyunjin thanks you and exits the room.

Jisung’s one minute turns into eighteen. By the time Hyunjin returns, the toddler is already asleep. 

“Welcome back-- What happened?” you ask in a hushed tone, referring to a small scratch on his cheek.

“I, uh, tripped,” he blushes. More like threatened.

You open an antiseptic wipe pack and hold it up to him.

“Thanks,” he whispers, not moving.

You don’t move either.

“Oh!” he realizes, taking the wipe from your hands and going to find a mirror himself.

Before he makes it to the restroom, he pauses in his step and does an about-face. 

“Y/N,” he begins.

“Yes?”

“Is it weird? Sharing a room with me, I mean. I can go outside. Or something. If you want.”

“No, it’s fine,” you shake your head. “I’ve shared rooms with Jisung before, so it’s nothing new.”

“Oh. Jisung, huh?”

You nod. “I’m going to bed now if that’s okay.”

“Yeah. Just turn off the lights; I can see in the dark.”

That night, a storm rages outside. Hyunjin is glad you insisted on bringing speakers to play white noise for his daughter. However, he himself cannot seem to fall asleep. He sits up with a sigh and looks over to your unconscious form. 

Do you always curl up like that when you sleep? Hyunjin almost feels bad for the blankets. And are you… are you shaking?

Hyunjin gets out of bed and walks to your side.

“Y/N?”

You let out a scared whimper, still asleep. A nightmare, he concludes.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asks again, reaching to brush some hair out of your face.

You quickly grab his hand and hold it close to you. He can definitely feel you shaking now, but it subsides the longer you have his hand in your possession. 

Hyunjin silently screams in the dark in panic. What should he do? The threat Jisung gave him to “stay off your bed” stings his cheek. At the same time, he isn’t going to pull his hand back and leave you shivering alone. 

Out of options, he sits awkwardly by your side with his arm stretched towards you.

You rub your face against his palm, sending heat across his entire being. It’s suffocating, but he doesn’t mind one bit. It has been a long time since he felt this, he realizes sadly to himself. He lifts up the wrist that glows weakly of his soulmark. Will he ever again after two years?

“Jiii…” he hears you mutter. 

“What?” he whispers.

You don’t reply and instead snuggle closer to him.

Ji? As in Jisung or Jin, like Hyunjin? 

Hyunjin frowns. Is he even allowed to hope for the latter after all he has put you through? 

Still, he can’t help but wish.

The next morning, you apologize profusely for making him put up with you all night. He waves you off, but you can see the circles under his eyes. Thus, you take his daughter out for breakfast and leave him to catch some shut-eye.

The rain is getting worse, but you find that she is sufficiently distracted in the daycare center, so you leave her there with some apple sauce before going to find your own breakfast. 

Once inside the dining hall, you immediately get an eerie feeling. The place is less staffed than yesterday, you realize as you pick up a plate, but people do tend to skip breakfast. Still, you fidget with the plate uneasily, sliding it from your left hand to your right. You spy some toast and are about to walk to it when suddenly, a hand grabs you by the shoulder. 

“Y/N.”

You let out a small yelp and whip around only to see Jisung looking back at you.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” he laughs nervously while scratching the back of his head.

“It’s fine,” you assure. “Good morning.”

“How’d you sleep?” he asks, grabbing a plate and following you.

“Well.”

He leans towards you as the two of you wait in line. “Did Hyunjin, um, try anything?”

You aren’t really sure what he is referring to, so you shake your head. “I was having nightmares and kept him up all night though.”

His brows are now etched with a different kind of worry. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, these things happen,” you shrug. “I just feel bad for Hyunjin. He’s sleeping in the room now; I should probably pack some food for him.”

Jisung disregards the second half of your statement. “Do you want to talk about them? You always say that makes things feel better.”

“Just nonsense,” you laugh lightly, putting two portions of toast on your plate. “There was a giant squid monster who kidnapped the baby. I tried to save her, but it took her underwater. I jumped in and couldn’t see or hear anything. I just felt… stuck?”

Jisung nods knowingly. “It’s probably because of the storm last night.”

You place a few more things with your toasts. “It doesn’t seem to be letting up either.”

“Do you want to switch rooms with Jeongin and room with me tonight? You can snuggle up with my fur if that’ll help you feel better,” he offers. 

You pour a cup of tea as Jisung gets his coffee. The two of you sit at a table. 

“I think I’ll be fine tonight,” you decline. “Anyway, you have yet to finish your answer from last night.”

He raises a questioning eyebrow.

“You were about to tell me about this quote-and-quote crush you’ve been having for years.”

“She’s real!” Jisung objects to your tone.

You laugh at his pout. “Who is it? Maybe I can help you talk to her. Since I’m a girl too, it’ll be an easier segway.”

“She’s-- she’s…”

Jisung pushes some food around on his plate.

“You!”

You look up to where the voice came from to see Felix and Chan walking in, bobbing their entire bodies to music.

“I see me in you! Neowa isseul ttae nan al su isseo!”

Jisung shrugs apologetically. “Maybe later?”

You frown. “You said the boys know anyway.”

“Well, uh, I never told them; I think they just figured it out,” he shrugs.

“So I’m just dense.”

“Yep!” says a Jeongin who slides into a chair next to you.

“What?”

“Oh sorry,” he smiles cheekily. “What were you guys talking about?”

You raise a brow at Jisung as he diverts the conversation elsewhere.

The rest of breakfast is rather uneventful. Well, Felix did accidentally flip his plate over onto Seungmin, but that isn’t too extraordinary. 

You excuse yourself early to deliver Hyunjin breakfast. On the way, you stop by the daycare and find Hyunjin’s daughter playing with an interactive book. You smile contently and continue on your way. 

Once you’ve arrived at your destination, you quietly ease the door open. You find your soulmate still sleeping, so you slowly set down the food when--

BANG!

The first thing Hyunjin sees when he jolts awake is you, wide-eyed and hands sticky from spilled juice. All is still for five seconds after the shock. Then the alarm starts blaring through the halls.

The noise snaps you back into reality. Once it does, there’s only one thing on your mind. You toss down what you are holding and bolt out the door for the daycare room. 

“Y/N!” Hyunjin calls after you, but you are already gone.

As predicted, the daycare center is in pandemonium. Out of the handful of children, you immediately spot the one you’re looking for, crying and trembling.

“Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay; it’s okay,” you coo as you pick her up into your arms.

You make your way through a panicking mob to the deck where the lifeboats are. By the time you are there, you can already feel the ship leaning towards one side. The rain is still as relentless as ever, beating down on you so hard, you can barely open your eyes.

“Women and children first!” yells a uniformed man. “Row away from the ship as soon as possible once your boat has been lowered!”

Hyunjin has finally found you as you are dashing towards a lowering boat with his child outstretched in front of you, begging people to let the toddler on.

“Y/N! Slow down!” he yells. 

But it is too late.

Because of the rain, your feet slide out from under you. Your body continues towards the edge of the ship, and your head meets the metal railing. Just then, another wave lurches the boat, sending your limp body flying overboard.

“No!” he cries as he takes on the same dangerous feat of sprinting across the deck. He makes it to the rails and dives in after you. He reemerges as a wolf and realizes a new problem now: you are no longer holding onto his daughter. In fact, at least ten meters lie between the two of you, and the distance is only growing. There is no way he can go after you both.

He looks to his right to his helpless child. He looks to his left to your unconscious form. Who does he choose? How can he choose?

As he extends his left paw forward, something soars overhead and lands in the water in front of him. A mess of silver resurfaces, and Hyunjin knows what to do. He switches paws and swims and swims and swims until his daughter is between his jaws.

“You howling idiots!” 

Minho’s exasperation falls on deaf ears as Jisung drags you onto the lifeboat, panting and coughing out seawater. Behind him, Hyunjin follows with his daughter whom he hands to Seungmin.

As much as Jisung wants to collapse onto the floor and stay there for ten hours, he can’t. He flings you onto the ground and begins resuscitation. 

“Come on, Y/N,” he mutters. He checks your chest. No breaths. “Come on, please,” he begs, “I can’t do this again.”

Not again.

He is fifteen. There were two ice cream cones in his hands as he approached the pool. He smiled slyly, knowing his soulmate arrived before him. 

“Come out now, wherever you are! I know you’re here! My wrist is itching. Come help me with these cones so I can get to it.”

When no response came, he frowned and walked to the edge of the pool, calling her name. Suddenly, the itching turns into a sharp, searing pain.

Two ice cream cones were left forgotten on the concrete that day.

You look just like her; hair slightly frizzing from the moisture, lips parted though no air escapes between them. Not responding no matter how Jisung pumped at your ribcage.

“Please… Y/N, please…” he cries.

“Jisung…” Minho places a hand on his shoulder after the tenth minute. “It’s too--”

“No!” he screams, slapping his friend away. “I’m not letting this happen again!” 

Pump. Pump.

Nothing.

Pump.

… Pump…

“Mr. Han Jisung? I’m Doctor Kim.”

Pump. Pump.

“It’s too late, Son. She’s gone.”

Pump. Pump.

“12:27 pm.”

Pump. Pump

Nothing.

“No-oo...t” He lowers his head helplessly onto your chest, fist pounding on your body in agony. “A-again…” 

“Please… Not yet, Y/N… Please, I’d do anything. Just please, wake up…” And then to the sky. “What do You want? First my soulmate and now her too? Wasn’t the first time enough? Just take me instead and get it over with! Take me instead! Please, just--!”

Maybe he finally hit just the right spot or maybe all his earlier effort finally paid off, but as his fist comes down one more time, water shoots out of your mouth. A gasp is heard from the entire boat. With newfound energy, Jisung gets back into CPR position. A few more compressions later, and you turn to your side, coughing and drawing in short breaths.

“Y/N!” Jisung wails, scooping you into his arms.

You wrap your arms around him weakly to comfort him through your coughs.

“Thank you…” he cries softly into your neck. “Thank you for coming back… Oh, thank you.”

Hyunjin stares at the two of you with a pang in his heart. He rubs his soulmark gingerly as he watches Jisung entangle his fingers in your hair. He watches as you drop your head on Jisung’s shoulder and as he encircles his arms tighter around you, flushing your entirety against him.

To his right, he hears his baby cry and Seungmin breathing a sigh of relief. The child is placed into his hold and he rocks her mindlessly. 

He’s made a mistake. A ten-kilogram mistake that’s taking your place in his arms right now. You would have never guilted him to have a child. You would have never left him. You are so perfect for him, and now he’s going to lose you, if not already.