#050324

"kurşundan bir yük binmiş, köpükten gövdesine"

i'm so proud of myself for losing 3kg in 3 weeks. but at the same time my energy levels have gone down and I have become more depressed and suicidal, yay.

i want to kill myself so badly I go straight to the icu. i know, i'm not thinking straight. but i'm craving pain and death so much that i'm getting itchy fingers and i can't stop thinking about it. i want this to end all at once. there is no point in me living. i was meant to die anyway. the hospital can take all my organs. i'm just a vessel. if apoptosis is a natural phenomenon then suicide should be too.