#022816

Namili kami ni nanay ng kunsumo namin para sa linggong 'to. Isda, gulay, karne tsaka prutas. Bumili rin kami ng dalawang klase ng halaman bago kami umuwi. Nakakatuwa na ngang tingnan yung garden namin sa labas ng bahay. Ang ganda lang tingnan nung mga bulaklak na may iba't ibang kulay. May bagong bukas na bakeshop sa may sakayan ng motor. Paborito kasi ni nanay yung hopia doon. Kapag walang pasok, di talaga kami kumakain sa saktong oras. Kaya bago kami umuwi, bumili muna kami ng lechon. Yes naman!

JaDine in love nung linggo (022816) kaya kinumbinsi ko sila nanay na maaga kaming bibisita kay tatay sa sementeryo para makapanuod pa ko. Kaso, ang bagal kumilos ng mga kapatid ko kaya goodbye JaDine for awhile. Buti nga, naabutan namin yung interview nila. Ohmyshems! My JaDine heart!

Bago kami nagsimba, kumain muna kami ng hapunan. Maaga pa naman kaya nagluto na lang muna si nanay. Sa kabagalan ng mga kapatid ko, nalate pa kami sa misa. Medyo nagtaka't nagulat nga ko sa nanagyari nung pari. Siguro, sa sobrang tanda na rin niya kaya nahihirapan na siyang magbasa. Buti na lang nairaos ng pari. He even asked for an apology kung medyo nangangapa siya sa pagbabasa and I commend him for doing that. I can sense kasi na medyo wala na sa mood yung iba. Nasa loob pa naman sila ng simabahan.

“You’re a good kisser,” he remarked, and it should have felt good the compliment the praise “I learned from Troy,” you replied. Even now, in this most unholy moment, you must make it about Him. You forgot to take your ring off. Now your sins have absorbed into that navy blue stone on your ring finger, and you have broken everything you ever promised yourself. “Do you suck dick?” he asked as he presented himself. You simply nodded, and went about your business. It was different than Troy’s. It was not exciting. You can’t recall feeling or thinking a thing the entire time. You can’t recall ever really wanting it to happen. You can’t recall ever saying no. You can only recall letting it. And for that, you are shameful. “God, you give good head,” he remarked. You barely let out an indifferent hum. Even as he bent you over, even as he took you, even as he gripped you and slapped you and made your body come alive, you felt something dying inside. And you let it happen.

Afterward, he smiled at you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact. “Man, that’s something to scratch off my bucket list,” he said. “What’s that?” you asked, and your voice sounded distant, as though someone else were speaking instead of you. He laughed. “Fucking another dude’s girl in the back of her car while he’s sitting there in the house.” And you nodded, and you laughed politely, and you didn’t say another word while he walked back inside. And when you saw Him, the one you call yours, and He looked at you expectantly, questioningly. And He asked softly, “How was it?” And you couldn’t look Him in the eye.