#0145

[Two Actors pass by a half-closed door, one well after the other. The one falling behind is limping, breathing heavily with the back of a splayed hand pressed against his lower spine.]

April 12 - Forever Howlong - Black Country, New Road

heart’s been broken too many times, too many stories and not enough time to just sit down, how come it always feels like you’re avoiding me? or are we just too busy and distracted? legs been running and running, hugging onto your bottles— you’re too wasted and i’m too high, baby, it’s just another way to pass the time. come back home to me, some words i can’t say to you. your mind stuck in limbo, i’ve seen hell on earth— the silent movements of your feet shifting from side to side, the world doesn’t have enough time for us to pause just for another talk. can you spare me just 10 minutes of your time? it looks like we’re always in a hurry, baby, where the fuck are we always going? we’re on a blue planet that’s literally flying through space. it’s not safe outside, the animals are all slowly dying because of humans, let’s just stay inside and study the different shades of your blushing— a subtle reminder that even autumn can appear sexy when winter is approaching. i think i have a problem, sometimes i feel like crying, but nothing comes out. i’m all dried up, the tears are invisible. the world spins slowly when you’re not around, but when you’re here it goes by so fucking quick. i don’t want to simply just exist, i want to exist like you. always running from thought to thought— how can you say that it’s over that quickly? emotions dread the day that you took over my veins, my heart aches in words, your heart breaks in prose— how many ways can you draw my pain? you have so many different rhythms and i know them all. i know how you have a specific snore when you’re dreaming a happy one— i know the night terrors and the sweating happen more frequently after you’ve been drinking. i wish that we had more time, but the irony is that we’ve always had it. i read somewhere that if it’s important to you, you’ll fucking make time. i read somewhere that if someone was meant to be in your life, nothing will ever stop them from being in your life. i read somewhere that the bees will go extinct soon, how will the flowers survive this tragedy? the gardens in my chest just burst into full bloom— your constant smiling and laughing appears right before a full moon. you call me when i’m finally over you. you text me when i’m finally done with you. you use one smile and my heart’s all tense. you touch my hands and my skull is focused— there’s a thousand feelings inside of a single word, i read somewhere that we all have that one person in mind when we hear the word “you.” my heart can’t take being replaced, but i could never give you up. stuck between an overflowing volcano and massive tidal wave, should i melt into your skin or drown into your liquor? the thought of you leaving only makes me sicker— but i’ve left people too. for some reason i can’t seem to leave you behind. i read somewhere that from our 100 percent of effort, only 20 percent will give us extraordinary results— so the question now is, did i love you wrong? did i love you too much? sick of these songs, we used to teach each other right from wrong. i’ve been smoking too much, i’ve been popping too much. my head swells up with anxiety, my nightmares live deep inside of me. if you ever make it home, know that i won’t be there. to my am sweetheart, to my pm lover— your poison is on my front porch and i’ve been in the back figuring out why the sky looks lonely without the stars— like they’re up there, it’s just too bright so we can’t see them. you’re making me feel lonely, but i know that i should be fine and used to this. you don’t want me around, so i keep others around. i don’t want them around, so i stay at home. i’ve been writing again, i guess these are just silent ramblings and if your eyes ever fall onto these words of mine— know that as real as it was between us, as painful as it was to see things fall apart. i’m glad that we happened. it was beautiful and i don’t think i could ever imagine anything else as great as this. it’s gonna be ok.

Learning to Love Chapter 108 0145

Most Beloved Wrestler Tournament

(Galarian) 0145 - Galarian Zapdos