#002s

Because life at home for Louise was worse than ever, her mother never around causing the walls to close in and the space to feel as empty as Lou's heart. It was suffocating, claustrophobic, and destructive. But still, she stayed. She clung to the hope that one day her mother would walk in and finally take Lou into her arms and tell her that she loved her. That Lou wasn't a mistake, that she was wanted. But even in her childlike innocence, she understood that that was just the daydreams of a lonely girl.

So, she held tight to worlds that weren't hers and characters that didn't live in real life, because those she could place. Those she could understand and afford to love, she knew they would never leave her. They couldn't. A built-in support system. And Lou, in her ripped tights and dirty dress, allowed herself a moment to escape to that fictional world of magic and acceptance. She placed herself amongst the other first years and rode the Hogwarts Express all the way to school, a nervous excitement residing in her soul that left her jittery and talkative. She looked out the window and watched the countryside pass by, and understood that in a mere hour she would be placed into a house, and given a purpose. She had her hopes, her expectations, and the opinions of others swirling around in her mind regarding Houses. Which ones were the best, which ones held the winners or the deviant souls. She should have wanted to be in Gryffindor because they were fiery and brave, or in Slytherin because they were cunning and ruthless, or even in Ravenclaw with their clever minds and sharp tongues. But she found herself leaning towards Hufflepuff, where the loyal and lovely resided.

And the other kids giggled a bit, Hufflepuff was the joke house, the house of "duffers", but she saw the older students in the house, and they always had smiles on their faces and a friend by their side. She wanted that, she appreciated loyalty and hard work because so very often Lou had to fight tooth and nail just to survive, and even then, she usually made it to the end alone and more lost than ever.

So, when the Sorting Hat called out her name, and she sat down on that stool in front of everyone and it took no time in placing her in Hufflepuff, she watched as the entire table erupted in applause and general merriment and her heart soared. She would wear the yellow and black with pride, she would have friends that loved and accepted her and generally were happy and understanding people. She finally would have a place in the world, a place where she wasn't resented for being alive. Where she wasn't put down or rejected. In Hufflepuff, she could weather any storm and would adorn the armor to survive any battle.

But, every time, she would open her eyes and find herself back in Barton Hollow in her school library, alone in the silence without anyone to care for her in the world. And she would turn the book back in, quietly thanking the librarian, before walking the two miles it took to get back to her mom's empty apartment. And she would lay on her bed, and try to stop herself from realizing that fairytales never came true. That no one finds out one day that they're being taken away from their terrible life to live a new existence where they matter.

Lou was alone in this world and always would be. But, still, ten years later, the girl still tried. She still made an effort. She sewed her heart into the sleeves of those around her, subconsciously that is, as she loved to think herself impenetrable and shielded. But the girl loved completely and utterly, and she lived with such a passion and liveliness, it was apparent in everything she did.

Standing in front of her mirror, Lou looked at the outfit she had spent a week figuring out, from the Hufflepuff leotard that featured a patch and tie--as it was created to be in the likeness of their uniform, as if she were a real student at Hogwarts--to the black cloak, ballet skirt and Mary Janes. Lou had even painted herself up with a cheek of stripes and wheedled Aiden into painting a small badger on her wrist. This was her time to shine, for her to have her own place in the world. And she would attack it with all the love and enthusiasm that was possibly in her tiny frame, as she always was prone to doing.