#....yep

My friend that that is not how it works.

hbomb mentioned wanting to try and make friends after one of the board game nights, so you invited him to come stay at your house. he seems like a chill guy, and it certainly won't hurt to have another sane person in the house to balance out the crazies. then he loses a bet with fundy and dresses up in a maid costume with cat eats and starts saying far too many suggestive things. but then you catch him in the kitchen during dinner and he invites you to share the spaghetti he made, and you just start talking like normal people and he seems pretty chill again. then you find him stumbling out of the x-life cafe at 6:30 in the morning with a dog you have never seen before and he says "good morning, gotta get the housemates some food and give this guy a walk" like nothing strange is happening, and you catch him carpooling home from one of the board game nights with scott and shubble, which leads to you asking them about him. they tell you that he's their roommate and dont seem surprised when they hear that he is also living with you which makes you pause for a moment before you promptly decide to ignore it all.

a month later he comes into the house yelling for tubbo about some gift he has from the kid's dad. he pauses and looks at you, seeing your confusion (because as far as you were aware the kid did not have parents which is why he was living in your basement) and mouthing "sparkles" at you, which didnt help at all. about half an hour later you're reading the news and realize what h meant. "Captain Jordan Sparklez," the headline screams, "RenDog, Stress, and 2 others participate in "Vault Challenge' created by Iskall.” the challenge has been all over the news recently, created by one of the legendary hermits and involving two more plus a world-famous celebrity worth millions and, apparently, your couch-surfing roommate.