#-system-wide posts

theory: at least on an individual basis, systems who grew up emotionally neglected may be more prone to having chronically ill alters in-sys because those thoughts of wishing they were sick/injured become internalized and establish themselves as the only way to get emotional needs met and paid attention to.

We personally believe that systems which identify as endo may not have access to their traumatic memories at this time, or may not realize that something they went through was actually traumatic for them.

For this reason, we do not believe endo systems should be attacked or fake-claimed, however, currently the diagnostic requirements for DID is to have sustained trauma* at an early enough age that the brain was unable to meld into one personality, with 2 or more distinct personalities present.

This may be why they view endo systems as invalid, however, there are many other dissociative and personality disorders out there - however DID is our main focus, and admittedly we don't know enough about those disorders to say how they play into those systems opinions.

We'd recommend doing your own research, so that you have that information under your belt if you're ever invalidated again.

Scalemail Sys. lyric pranks itself with “Maria Mena - Am I Supposed To Apologize?”  Bonus: Asmo being Asmo

DISCLAIMER: This is a theory, not a professional opinion.

We as a system have noticed that most of the time, our memory blocks on negative memories are more easily overcome than our memory blocks on positive things.

Why is this?

We speculate that maybe, as is often the answer with DID, is that our brain perceives it as safer, or more easily coped with. It’s not easy to know that things didn’t have to be this way, that in some alternate timeline where our blood relatives didn’t change for the worse, we could have been a healthy, “undamaged” singlet. That we could have been happy, could have been just “I”. 

Only just today did we remember that the father used to be kind, used to be caring, used to read bedtime stories when we were 2 - 3. We completely forgot the character Tigger even existed until his name was mentioned by a friend system, and we remembered in a rush that “The Tigger Movie: Read Along” was our favorite bedtime story, that we used to have a plushie of him that was, at that age, twice our height. And remembering that has us on the verge of tears. It’s borderline overwhelming, to have your subconscious whisper “It didn’t have to be this way. It could have been better.”

How many other “good” memories are we missing, because it hurts too much to know that it wasn’t always pain and isolation and abuse? How much is hidden away, because our brain knows we can’t handle it?