#-coral

6 hours and a half later, I'm finally finished!

This time I actually thought about the lighting and the background when sketching. And the water looks more like water. I don't like drawing backgrounds. Maybe I just need to practice more.

I added a bit more movement with the hair blowing in the wind and the waves, and I like it.

ArtFight defense! It's Coral by Hamsolini!

I'm really worried about him but have no way to contact him. And because of all of this i've been relapsing on self harm a lot, & now im scared im gonna fall back into it. I also just recently started trying to eat at least once a day, & i'm afraid if he doesnt come back soon i'll get more stressed & self-negative and start restricting a lot again, & I don't know what i can do, I'm really scared for him bc even before we were together he was a close friend & I want to know hes ok (part 2 -coral)

Hey darling,

This seems so hard to be going through right now and you do deserve better.  It can be really difficult when you cannot understand how or why people are acting a certain way.  Relationships are difficult for anybody, even people who have lots of experience with them.  It seems like this guy doesn’t have a lot of patience.  I am not sure if he knew going into this relationship or not if you were new at this, but if he didn’t this may be good to explain to him.  Now I do think it would be a good idea if you all talked, but that doesn’t seem like it could be an option for him.  Is there any way you can find out if he is alright?  Maybe talk to a sibling of his if he has one or if he has a friend that lives near him that can check in.  It does seem like there was other stuff going though so maybe look back and see if you can recognize any unusual behavior or signs of him being stressed.  If you do find out that he is in immediate danger then please call your local emergency services.  When you get a chance talk to him about what is going on.  

If he continues this behavior though it may be best to move on from him for he may not be the right guy.  This may be one incident and although it should be discussed it’s a sign that he may of been feeling this way for a while.  Maybe he did just have a small moment and maybe he’s just having a hard time though if you begin to think that this will be something that makes your relationship not worth continuing then I advice you to end the relationship.  If you need to you can look at page on breakups.  

This all seems like it is extremely stressful and from some of the behaviors you are describing you do not seem to be coping well.  Self harm and restrictive eating are really difficult on your body and your mind.  It sounds like you are suffering from disordered eating habits or, if you are diagnosed, and eating disorder.  There are so many reasons not to harm and eating disorders are really hard.  There are some techniques for reducing self harm as well as some alternatives to self harm.  If you are getting these thoughts some distractions which you can find here and here can really help.  Also I would really like you to check out some links here and here on boosting your self esteem.

Also seeking help about these issues can really help you put an end to these behaviors.  Trust me darling I have struggled with an ED and self harm for years and I hid it for years as well.  Yeah I got better for a bit, but then I got bad again and it was always a constant relapse and clean phase.  I thought I could do it on my own and I could to a point, but what has really helped me solve these issues is seeing a professional.  If money's an issue a GP, which you can read up on here and here, may be an option.  Also you may want to look into seeing if free health clinics are an option in your area.  You can also always call a hotline, chat with a web counsellor, or try out our live chat system.  Also we run weekly venting groups which are sort of like online support groups.  We do actually have one on body image at 10:30-11:30pm GMT on Thursdays run by the lovely Paige.  We also have one on self harm on Saturdays from 1-2am GMT run by the amazing Lozza.  You can find some more venting groups and find out all about them here.  I really hope this all helped.  Feel free to message us any time.  Best of wishes!!!!!