#*thought dammit

It all started when I watched the first episode of ebi calcio which was aired in late 2014 (but I watched it like really early 2015). It was a danso episode and Mei participated in it and MAI GAWD SHE WAS IKEMEN AS FFFFFF!!! My weakness is danso, so Mei really caught my attention... It wasn’t the first time I heard of her name (I found out about NonMei combi first but I never really paid much attention???) but after watching this episode, I totally could remember her.

2015 was a busy year for me, so I only had time to focus on a few SKE members (with my oshimen being Rena at that time) but months later after Rena graduated (and when I gave up being busy lololol) I started focusing on more and more members, with Mei being one of them. I found out how cool she is, but at the same time really cute and pretty, and quite a chikin XD (and also how she’s a 97 liner like me whaaaaaaat???) and that was the time when I really like NonMei as a pairing and shipped them like a delulu fan I am lol... I really started to like Mei more and more and she became one of my favourite members.

This photo was back in Fuyucon 2015? I stumbled upon this and I asked myself “Oh? Isn’t this Goto Risako? Wow she’s actually so prettyyyyyyy~ I wonder if she’s close to Mei?” I did my research and found out that this two same-aged girls get along pretty well despite being from a different gen and team, Risako appointed Mei as the leader of gorisa children, Mei calling Risako “Gori” despite the seniority, and there are few others cute moments here and there. If wasn’t for this photo, I wouldn’t have gotten soooooo into Risako, the member whom I can relate to the most... 

Also, being a DD then (without me realizing actually) I like a lot of SKE members, like really a lot. I couldn’t just stick to a member or two, pretty much I didn’t have an “oshimen”. But I was really really really following this two, commenting on their SNS, reading their blogs, digging up their older times in SKE, so on and so forth that it led to my decision to support them equally in 2016 (IT WAS ONLY LAST YEAR WTH) It was a gamble tbh. Despite being the youngest in their respective gens, they belong to the old gen of SKE. They’re also underrated as fuck (oh my god don’t get me started talking about Mei especially, wait you know what? I’ll actually get into that soon.) but I still decided to make both my oshimen instead of finding young buds (I DID FOR A WHILE BUT JUNNA...........)

I never felt so happy for an idol before. SSK is something that I have mixed feelings about, but when Mei finally ranked last year, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I eventually cried. 63rd was a nice rank, and although it was just ONE vote, I was proud to be part of the meiteam (name of her fanbase) that helped her rank in^^ A part of me wished I had more money to spend on votes, but in general I was really happy because Mei was happy. In 2015, she managed to rank in during the preliminary round, but not getting ranked in the actually was really a frustrating moment for her. Getting ranked in SSK is one opportunity to get exposed, and I must say I was glad Mei had quite a number of jobs last year. 

I started to think “Wow, 2016 is really a good year for Mei” and everyone was like “RISE MEIMEI RISE” thinking she’ll continue getting chances to shine. Too bad, what we all thought was WRONG.

16th February, that was when Mei announced her graduation during Team E kouen in order to focus on achieving her dreams in becoming an actress. It’s a dream she had for a long time, and her thoughts of graduation wasn’t a sudden one. She has talked more in her blog (I translated it here) Basically this will be a positive graduation as she’s taking one step ahead in her life. 

To be honest, when she said she has thought of graduating since a year ago, I really didn’t know. All the good stuff happened in 2016 made me didn’t realize that she could leave just anytime. Then again, I can’t say that I wasn’t prepared for this. In fact, a day before her announcement, the list of members being able to participate in P4U event was released, and aside from members who already announced graduation before, Mei’s name was the only one not in the list. I must say, her fans got really scared and worried, and watched kouen the next day in fear. I was in that situation too, but I told myself to just think positively. 

Of course, even with that hint, I still cried. I barely heard what she said after the “I will be graduating from SKE” part that I had to find a clip and re-watch it. I thought to myself “I wonder if my reaction would be worst if I didn’t found out about the P4U thing” but after a while, I realized that I’ll still feel sad no matter what. Yes, I am happy that Mei is starting a new chapter in life, I already told myself I’m still gonna support her and try to follow whatever stuff she gonna do in the future. But Mei being in SKE played an important role in how my wota life went for the past year. I was never SO gachi before. Yes, one year is so short, but in one year, a lot of things can happen. So I think things will change a little for me once April starts.

Ok, if there’s one thing I should be frustrated about, then that’s about the fact that she’s a freaking underrated member. Although I did say that a lot of good things happened in 2016 for Mei, that’s just because for the past years she’s in SKE, there was absolutely nothing for her. I guess it was because she was young or something, but I’ve seen her performances at least way back to 2014, and I must say, she is arguably a really good performer! No matter what she does, she looks cool. Besides that, she’s also a fun person who not only just perform, but also “interacts” and play around with members during kouen. MC, excellent. She’s good at tsukkomi. Despite overall being a good performer, it just gets me sometimes seeing her dance positions during kouen.... It’s always at the back... On top of that, never had a chance to center any unit before!!!!!! This is insane to me tbh... There were so many times I saw chances for her to center a unit (for eg. Ame no Pianist unit during TeTsuna shuffle kouen) BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED LIKE THERE WERE SO MANY CHANCES!!!!!!! Like come on... if we can see bad dancers being put up as center (not pointing on any member btw) then why can’t we see members who are clearly capable to center, not getting a chance? Like seriously, all I wanted was just ONE chance... 

Which is why, when Suuchan started her own Suumelo Senbatsu (or what she name it as Melodies) and appointed Mei as the center, I was on cloud nine. Mei never had such opportunity for the past 6 years, yet her own fellow team member could gave her that spotlight. I could never thank Suuchan enough for this, although sadly, Melodies hasn’t fully formed yet (Suuchan still haven’t announced all the members) so they can’t start any activity. With Mei graduating already, we can never get to see her acting out as the center of the unit... but nevertheless, the title still counts, so I’m really thankful to Suuchan, really.

I may have sounded like I’m complaining a bit too much, but overall, I think Mei had a really really great time in SKE. She definitely learnt a lot in the past 6 years and grow up to be the best she can be. I know she love her fans a lot, she’s nice to everyone, even though she don’t give kami taiou during HS or something. In my case, since I’ve never been to HS, I could see her kindness through her replies in 755 (ok at least back when she often uses it before having twitter) I could be asking something specific, or commenting generic stuff like “have fun during kouen” or “how’s your day?” and she would still reply to them^^ Seriously nice. Like really. Cuz I do know that my japanese grammar is kinda horrible, some sentences sound weird, but she was really nice^^ It maybe ridiculous, but I screenshot all her replies to me, since I’m just an international fan who does not have $$$ and freedom to go to HS .^. SIGHHHHHHHH but anyways, I really treasure those replies as those were our ONLY interactions~ I actually wanted to write a fanletter (like legit write one and send it) but there’s way too much problems in my hand so I regretfully decided to leave it out... 

ANDDDDDDD I should wrap this up since it’s already so long......... 

As I’m typing this, it’s roughly 5:10 AM Japan Time so there’s around 13 hours till her graduation kouen? Obviously gonna watch it, but I’m gonna have to sleep first lol. I don’t know what kind of emotion I should have, but I hope the kouen will run smoothly. I also hope she’ll have fun and have a memorable last kouen, and although it’s weird to say this, I am looking forward to it.