#*tgi

ALICE OF THE UPPER CLASS

What happened to the girl I knew?

I think I'm gonna miss my train.

The street signs all look the same.

I think I've been awake for days.

I have no shame.

I'm tired of the upper class.

I wanna go back.

I'm a freak.

Yeah, I'm a psycho.

I'm a monster.

I knew beauty then I lost her.

Can't you see that I'm an imposter?

Where's the fun in doing well?

The good girls never kiss and tell

You're headed to hell in the fast lane.

I know now what I always knew.

I don't belong here, how 'bout you?

I still get punished for good deeds.

NOTHING

Here I am again.

Did everything I thought that I wouldn't.

My heart feels young and my brain feels old.

My boyfriend says that he's just way too good to me.

He's so evil.

He's so mean

My girlfriend hates that I act like she's just make-believe.

You wouldn't understand how complicated I can make it.

I guess it's finally time I should be making up my mind.

I want everyone and everything.

I want control.

I'll give it all to make me whole.

But then I have nothing.

It’s all my fault, I should've known.

This new type of love just isn't for me.

I can't belong to somebody.

LESSONS

I'm alive, that's a plus.

I don't think I'm ready to let go of the rush.

You'll never see the tears I cry.

Once they dry, I'm runnin' to the spotlight.

I don't wanna lose control.

I feel the pressure closin' in.

All alone, all for what?

I don't see someone I can trust.

The blame is only mine.

I'm in a hell of my design.

Now I've run out of time.

I'm the same in every scene.

I should go with my gut.

CHARADES

I know words should make me happy.

Just an empty space I've labeled as "the things that I should love".

All that cuts through is the fear of what I'll lose.

I was born a welfare baby with the blisters in my shoes.

I'd be in trouble if they knew.

I've been confusing afraid and well-behaved.

Been sacrificin' things that I want because I thought that it would make me brave

Nobody answers when I pray

Are you good at charades?

Can you feel the things I'm screamin' even when I cannot say?

I'm quiet most these days.

Doctor told me I'm not invincible.

*Name* told me that they won't be coming around.

The only way that I'll get through is to tell them that I refuse

I got nothing left to lose.

I know exactly how to be alone because it's all I ever knew.

Maybe you and I, we should play.

Should we give it a go, 'cause nobody knows?

At the end of the day, it's just a harmless game.

Well, I don't wanna give it away.

I know you could get it if you paid attention.

AFRAID OF THE DARK (DEMO)

Something in my center wants to bloom like it's a wound.

I better give up soon.

Anything to keep up the illusion that I'm numb.

Is everybody having fun?

Then my work here is done.

Where's all the attention you've been asking for?

Are you afraid of the dark?

I'm whatever you are.

Blame it on my parents or the moon and stars, but maybe I'm just like this.

I still can't find a real life boy.

I am a walking dress up chest.

Staring down my twenties like the barrell of a gun.

Do you see yourself when you look in my eyes?

I NEVER LOVED YOU

It wasn't enough.

They couldn't save her.

It wasn't her fault.

It was there from the start.

Trying to love you through an open wound

If you only knew how bad it hurt me too.

You can take the money.

You can rest your head down and not feel any shame.

I never loved you.

I never loved you in vain.

We argued a lot.

You drove off screaming on the night you were caught.

You left me standing in the parking lot.

I took off chasing you down Route 22.

You never listen and I'm terrible too.

You kept on driving far away from the issues.

If you stopped, I would've kissed you.

I almost thought I heard you call my name.

DARWINISM

There's lots of fish out in the pond.

What if I'm from outer space?

I have fire in my bones and in my veins.

I let it show and scare my suitors far away.

They say that God makes no mistakes, but I might disagree.

If everyone has someone, then the math just isn't right.

I'm the only outlier, the lonely archetype.

If everything is by design, well, I might disagree.

You all know something that I don't.

You all learned something that I fear I'll never know.

What if I'm just cosmic dust?

I was born all by myself, it's not unlikely that I'll die that way as well.

LONELY IS THE MUSE

I spent years becoming cool.

In one single second, you can make a decade of my efforts disappear.

Didn't know you were here.

I always knew I was a martyr.

I was built from special pieces that I learned how to unscrew.

I can always reassemble to fit perfectly for you.

Lonely is the muse.

So where do I go in the process when I'm just an apparatus?

I've inspired platinum records.

I've earned platinum airline status.

I'm reduced to just a body here in someone else's bed.

I will always be a martyr.

When you're done, you can discard me like the others always do.

I will nurse my wounds until another artist needs me new.

I will always reassemble to fit perfectly in view for anybody that decides that I'm of use.

ARSONIST

Arsonist burning down the world to feel its heat.

The arsonist doesn't feel the embers on his feet.

Your human starter kit came incomplete.

My apologies, arsonist, you loved me.

Fool me twice, the shame is on me

Am I a victim in your game?.

Will you pass me through your bloodline with your ornamental rage?

Can I take the blame for everything you hate?

The punishment and crime are not the same.

Somebody will love me for the way that I'm designed.

You don't love the flames, you just want them for yourself.

You smothered out the glow I grew for you but it was mine too.

Alchemy's not love, it's playing God.

Have you ever been broken and thrown down?

Have you ever given the world to somebody as a gift and had it returned?

Did you know the father's DNA stays inside the mother for seven years?

Have you ever waited seven years?

Have you ever woken from a dream just to realize that you're still asleep?

Do you ever wish you were still asleep?

Do you ever wish you wouldn't wake up?

LIFE OF THE SPIDER (DRAFT)

For several days now I've been living here.

I feel like a monster.

It doesn't help that you will treat me like I've got the venom in my teeth.

I came for shelter from the cold and I'd thought I'd stay a while.

You'll kill me when I least expect it.

God, how could I even think of daring to exist?

I worked real hard on the last one but the last one got me here.

I'm minding my own business but my presence makes you curse.

I should be getting better but I'm only getting worse.

I know you hate the sight of me.

You would break me if you tried.

HURT FEELINGS

My dad is almost home.

I'll perpetually believe that any man who says he loves me is hidin' somethin' up his sleeve.

I'll be changin' like the weather.

I'll never be like him.

You know my father isn't dead, but it don't feel like he's still here.

It's strange now that he's grey and getting older by the day.

My eyes tell me that he's harmless despite what my heart has to say.

Maybe this is just another trick that hasn't happened yet.

Blood is thick but water is forever.

That girl will be a problem only if you let her.

I left her back home but I cannot forget her.

I thought that it was my fault, and now sometimes I still do.

I can't bear to fake a smile when you walk into the room.

LUCKY

I am so lucky.

My self-loathing so deep-rooted.

Truth is I'm not suited for it.

I hope that you still love me.

I'm a star.

If there's nothin' missin' in my life, then why do these tears come at night?"

I feel her, but I can't relate.

I'd never end up in that state.

What do you do with a difficult grownup?

I thought I changed so much, nobody would notice it, and no one did.

I told everybody I was fine for a whole damn year.

That's the biggest lie of my career.

She's so lucky.

Haven't you heard?

LETTER TO GOD (1998)

Please, God, or whoever you are.

These days I get less calls 'cause no one wants to hear my voice.

I miss the days when I was gettin' texts that I could just avoid.

I've been tryin' to be calm and not pre-emptively destroy.

Every time I'm in the real world, I just end up paranoid.

I don't ever wanna leave him, but I don't think it's my choice.

I'm basking in these moments where I feel a shred of joy.

I don't think my pleas are heard because I'm screaming in the void.

Oh, you've gotta be sick.

Why do you make it hurt, and why's it over so quick?

I'm finally loved.

I finally found somebody I don't wanna get rid of.

You took a little while to respond to my prayer.

Please, God, no, this doesn't seem fair.

I'm tryin' not to show it, but I'm terribly scared.

THE GREAT IMPERSONATOR

No one has to know.

I could always hide.

They don't know I'm lonely.

They don't know I'm kind.

Every single truth I sing once started as a lie.

Does a story die with its narrator?

Surely it's forgotten soon or later.

Hope they spell my name right in the paper.

This is a cry for help.

ONLY LIVING GIRL IN LA

I'm the only one who sees.

I wake up every day in some new kind of suffering.

I've never known a day of peace.

Do you think they'd laugh at how I die?

The ceremony's small inside.

I don't know if I could sell out my own funeral.

It was never mine.

I left my wallet on the train.

I was too soft for this world.

They'd be right.

It shouldn't kill me every day.

I don't know what I did to have this fate.

I can't even run from what I know.

I'm not lucky.

I know I wasn’t chosen

The world keeps spinnin' without me.

I told my mother I would die by twenty-seven.

This thing I love has grown demanding and obsessive.

It wants more than I can give.

I wake up every day and wish that I was different.

EGO

I'm caught up in the everyday trend.

Think I'm better off dead.

Been a few months since I crossed over state lines.

Feel so low but I'm high at the same time.

I'm nervous what you'll think of me now.

I'm hoping that someone comes around.

I think that I should try to kill my ego.

If I don't, my ego might kill me.

I'm acting like a fucking baby.

I'm really not as happy as I seem.

Still a little kid that can't make friends.

I've been having bad dreams my career could end.

I slip up when I should've played pretend.

I wanna be cool, I don't wanna be pretty.

You're too nice to run this town.

Nothing's as it seems.

I don't like the lie I'm living.

I'm way too nice and too forgiving.

I wanna go back to the beginning.

It's all done now, who am I kidding?

I'm doing way worse than I'm admitting

I'm really not that happy being me.

DOG YEARS

They said I have a universal blood type.

I can give to anyone in need.

I'm trying to be positive but oh, it's really hard.

I'm a loner.

I'm a loser.

Can I come inside?

Can we go for a ride?

You know, I'm such a sweet girl, but I can really bite.

See you soon and we can race.

You know a mercy kill is what I seek.

I didn't ask to live, but dying's up to me.

Tell the three people who asked that I am in a better place.

I'm not old, but I am tired.

I'm not strong, I'm very weak.

I'm not here, I'm somewhere else.

I have seen enough.

I've seen it all.

LETTER TO GOD (1974)

Did you like how that sounded?

Did you just write that or was that the same one?

Did he have a mom and dad and do they argue just like mine?

Did he have a little brother that annoyed him all the time?

Did he wanna be a grown up?

You're gonna need to come in on that first part.

Did he wanna be a grown up?

When I was little, I was jealous, and I'd say a prayer at night.

I don't wanna hurt so get it over with quick.

I wanna be loved.

I don't wanna be somebody that they wanna get rid of.

PANIC ATTACK

My body carries sadness that my brain cannot yet see.

Both my shoulders have been burdened by the weight of my mistakes.

Every time you lean in closer, both my knees can't help but shake.

I think you're a danger to my health, or so it seems.

Is it love or a panic attack?

Is a heavy heart too much to hold?

It's late, so I'm taking you home.

Would you mind if I asked you on the phone?

I had to call the doctor.

I tripped when we went walking and I felt it in my spleen.

You make me fucking nervous and I don't know what it all means.

My spirit has been broken.

My optimism's getting sore.

I would love to love you, but my body's keepin' score.

I don't know if I can see you anymore.

THE END

I don't like to complain, but I'm saying sorry.

When I met you, I thought I was damaged goods.

Could you hold me in the dark?

Would you like to stay a while?

Would you leave when it gets hard?

We wrestled in the mud.

I told him he could stay right where he stood.

I don't know if he should.

The joke was always mine.

I BELIEVE IN MAGIC

He used to look just like his dad, but right now he looks just like me.

I wonder if the world will treat him any better than it treated me.

I tried to teach him every day that nothing good is free, but oh, it should be.

Please tell the world I have to grow before I go.

I just wanted you to know.

I believe in magic.

I believe in sin.

I still believe in Heaven, if they'll never let me in.

I think I might start tryin' because I haven't been.

It's contagious and you'll catch it like a cold.

She won't admit it, but it's something that I know.

Every year that passes for me passes her a hundredfold.

That alliance didn't save me from her fate.

Now I tell her to her face.

LETTER TO GOD (1983)

I left home and moved to *Place*.

I'm plannin' my estate.

I don't wanna blame the child, but I have to speculate.

This could all just be an answer to thosе prayers that came delayed.

I never would have said it if I knew I'd have to wait.

Please, God, I don't wanna be sick

Don't wanna be somebody that you're tryna get rid of.

HOMETOWN

So I'm playin' the drums, right?

We would smoke out in the parkin' lot behind convenience shops.

I bought a couple of grams of weed off him, but so did all the cops.

In our heads, we picked a husband from the hundred men we knew.

Therе ain't a reason on this earth I'd go back to my hometown.

You know, I never felt like anyone.

I was a paradoxal' lie.

I didn't think that I was special.

I was too afraid to die.

The American dream means stayin' young forever.

Years will pass since science class and I might forget your name.

When the crow's feet come, the kingdom come.