spencer is not ashamed to be trans, and does not hesitate to disclose it if he feels like the situation calls for it, but not everyone in his life knows he’s trans and that’s perfectly alright. no trans person needs to tell everyone they meet that they’re transgender; no one’s entitled to know that. even with the spotlight on the monroes due to deanna’s life as a politician, it was never public knowledge that spencer was trans, because that’s how he chose for it to be. deanna advocated for equality and trans rights but spencer was terrified of being a political pawn; it was his biggest fear, really. he did not want to be scrutinized and examined and have his every action analyzed even more than it already was. a journey through transitioning is incredibly personal and the idea of sharing it so publicly made him sick. that’s just not the kind of person spencer is.

the only people in alexandria who know he’s trans are his family and the raleighs and ellis (who counts as a raleigh, really, but anyway.) he’s so incredibly close with aaron and eric and one day he just decided to tell them he was trans, as a way of bonding. he just knew that they would understand, and then eric told him in turn that he was trans, and it just strengthened their friendship further.

and like i said, he’s open to being open about being trans, but there still is a lot of mistrust and worry of transphobia. even with the collapse of society, he fears prejudice and discrimination, which derive from ignorance  -  which the south is pretty fraught with. 

ship meme / accepting / @wanlidas

Who’s more dominant: rosita.. i know.. very shocking. once again, spencer is Big Bottom Energy and he wouldn’t have it any other way

Who’s the cuddler: spencer…. he’s more vocal about it, at least. loves to give ro the puppy dog eyes until she holds him

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: spencer monroe is always the little spoon.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: he loves cooking for her. she’s also the only person he likes going outside the walls with.

Who uses all the hot water: spencer will let her if she wants to since he doesn’t like hot water on his back

Most trivial thing they fight over: i can imagine her arguing with him over portions of ingredients to use while cooking

Who does most of the cleaning: spencer, but again, only because he can’t stand mess and if he sees it he just has to deal with it immediately

Who leaves their stuff around: since ro does her best to keep him at a distance and they only ever meet at his house i can’t say it’s her. but spencer keeps his room really neat and orderly, so, neither, honestly.

Who cooks normally: spencer… this is canon. he’s always bringing her food kjndkj

How often do they fight: like every day but it’s not really Fighting it’s just ro shutting him down when he acts even slightly emotional

What do they do when they’re away from each other: spencer pouts about it until he can see her again; i hope rosita thinks about him at least Once

Nicknames for each other: she’s allowed to call him spence if she wants but i feel like she probably just calls him dumbass. spencer calls her ro and has thought about calling her baby but doesn’t want to get slapped

Who steals the covers at night: rosita does just to annoy him. he thinks it’s cute.

What would they get each other for gifts: he’d give her anything he finds that she thinks he would like. he doesn’t go for flowers with her because it doesn’t feel like a Her thing, instead he gives her knives, some of his shirts. he was actually planning to give her his necklace, which is why ellis gave it to her after he died.

Who kissed who first / who made the first move: rosita definitely initiated things. spence wanted to be with her for a Long time before it actually happened but he was?? kind of intimidated. and kind of scared of her rejecting him. but then she showed interest and he was like Okay Thanks I Love It!

Who remembers things: rosita pretends like she doesn’t because it’s not supposed to mean anything, but she does, 

Who cusses more: rosita obviously

What would they do if the other one was hurt: judging by her reaction to his death i want to say maybe she’d be a little more vulnerable around him if he was, like, Seriously Injured. spencer would be very internally worried but would also try not to Hover over her too much but would make it known he’s there and willing to do whatever she needs (even if it’s just leaving her alone). he’d send ellis or one of the raleighs to casually check up on her and report back, thinking it wouldn’t be obvious what he was doing,

Who is the dirty talker: maybe rosita.. spencer is just Too Soft and it’s just not him

ship meme / accepting 

Who’s more dominant: ellis. i’ve said it to you before but spencer m*nroe is just big bottom energy and this goes for All of his relationships

Who’s the cuddler: both.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: spencer’s mainly the little spoon but they switch it up from time to time; it just depends on the mood.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: sitting up in the tower at night and trying to pick out constellations. they both suck at it because they’re dumb and they just make up their own instead

Who uses all the hot water: ellis. spencer can’t stand hot water though so he doesn’t mind

Most trivial thing they fight over: how to pronounce certain english words. ellis can’t stand english and how stupidly complicated it is sometimes 

Who does most of the cleaning: spencer.. not because ellis doesn’t want to but spencer just does it automatically. he can’t stand Mess

Who leaves their stuff around: ellis... he’s an idiot,

Who remembers anniversaries: their relationship isn’t really a relationship so ellis never remembered any milestones but spencer can tell you the first day they met, kissed, and had sex. he keeps up with that shit.

Who cooks normally: mr. monroe, the trained chef. he doesn’t like anyone else touching his kitchen

How often do they fight: they’ve never had a serious fight in their life; all of their arguments are dumb shit, so, never, really

What do they do when they’re away from each other: live their lives really... they love each other but it’s still a Casual Thing and so they just don’t mind being apart and having things that are separate from their relationship / friendship

Nicknames for each other: ellis is one of the few who call him spence, and spencer is one of the three people allowed to call ellis eli.

Who steals the covers at night: ellis because he really stays cold even in the dead of summer

What would they get each other for gifts: books (like ellis getting him a collection of hans christian andersen stories; spencer has given ellis books, too, mostly horror, because that’s ellis’ favorite genre), flowers (they both steal them from people’s yards. it’s always a single flower, never a bouquet, and they trade them every night), and spencer gives ellis anything that could be used for the school, which isn’t really a gift, but, i still think it’s cute.

Who kissed who first / who made the first move: spencer kissed ellis first. they’d already grown close at this point / were sleeping in each other’s beds regularly and one night spencer kissed him. then they talked about it and decided that it’d be Fine if they had something casual, just for the Comfort of it.

Who remembers things: really just think it’s spencer again because he remembers literally Everything about Everything. he doesn’t have a photographic memory but his recall is really good

Who started the relationship: isn’t this just the same question as who made the first move.. anyway. spencer.

Who cusses more: ellis.

What would they do if the other one was hurt: make sure they get patched up (holding hands the entire time). if the injury is severe enough that they have to stay in the clinic overnight then both of these dumbasses are gonna sleep in the same bed (and would sleep in the same bed if they’re allowed to go home). it’s just a lot of reassurance and cuddling and making sure they’re both Okay.

Who is the dirty talker: i would say.. neither... like it just doesn’t fit with what they have with each other. maybe a couple words & phrases have slipped out but it’s not something either of them actively do or even want with each other. when they’re together it’s very slow and quiet and calm, and spencer prefers compliments to dirty talk in general [because he thinks a lot of it just sounds ridiculous]