Jun 5
Today my dad said i'm not allowed to play any horror game while living in his house (even if i bought a computer) AND my sister got a bday message from some mutual friends of our who i didnt get any kind of bday message from so yeah
#feeling fairly irritated i cant lie#also it lowkey touches on an old wound cuz i was always jealous how much one of those friends seemed to like my sister and not gaf abt me#i felt guilty af abt it too cuz i couldnt understand why i felt so jealous abt it#it wasnt until a couple of months of not seeing that friend-group that i admitted to myself that i had had a crush on that girl#and i just wanna play the original silent hill but ig i wont be able to until i move out which i have no meaningful propect of in the near#*near future#idk y'all i was in a meh mood abt the silent hill thing already+the music was rly ass at church today (i attend for my family's sake)#and then my sister comes into my room to show me the happy birthday audio that the girl in particular recorded with our friends for her#and now i'm in a bad mood#and my parents will probably come here to confiscate my phone for the night soon cuz they have a rule in place limiting my phone usage#and since i live with them i have no choice in the matter#idk how to pull myself out of this shit mood enough to sleep well#especially without my phone#the book i'm reading wont help cuz it's abt politics so its kinda bleak lol#anyway i thought maybe this would help to purge it out#life#vent#tw vent#my post
