#*k.arma;

"hello~" she greets, shifting on the couch. her voice is low, murmured-- as to not be too loud, but also clear enough for it to be heard through the live. she watches the comments begin to pop through, smiling and raising her brows at some of them. she's glad her face isn't showing, there's a couple that are more passive aggressive about her lack of posting the month or so-- and she wouldn't have been able to school her face in time for that. "did you miss me~ i missed you all~

→ user043532 our leader~~ welcome back ~~ → user923431 why audio????? new hair color???? → user358536 OMG K.ARMA COMEBACK??? → user349383 where's kil? → user035921 about time

"audio only..." she trails off with a hum, biting her lip in thought. "i'm actually not at the studio this time. i'm at the dorm, and some of the girls are resting." she lifts her gaze and looks around, glancing over the closed bedroom doors she can see. "i'm still blonde. sadly." she says with a pout, glancing at the strands of her hair. her roots have begun to grow in, and it's looking sadder by the day. vanessa's wishing at this point to do something different so bad. "it's...looking a little rough." she slips into english, chuckling to herself.

→ user124241 ENGLISH MONA → user459835 ur always pretty 🥺 → user656476 dyeing it soon?? 👀

"dyeing it? i don't know, truthfully. but..." she trails off, momentarily distracted by the comments. "what color would you wanna see? i've always wanted to try blue." it's been one she's thought about since before debut, and she hopes one day she'll be able to see it come to fruition. or until she grows sick of waiting and risks the scolding if she were to dye it on her own.

→ user425521 red!!!!! → user937522 stay blonde → user325844 PINK → user128841 bald

"bald? okay, you got it." vanessa snorts, breaking out into soft laughter that she muffles with her sleeve. "wah...so many choices." she chats back and forth, picking out a few colors that she sees that might work. she's smiling to herself at some of the comments she's seeing-- and the slow rising conspiracy amidst a few of them that vanessa is trying to hint at a comeback. she's not really trying to, she just doesn't want to jeopardize anything by reacting to it. she sees another comment mentioning the other girls-- and jumps onto that.

"ah, roommates. mm, kiyeonnie and i are in one room. doyeonnie and kil in another, and sejeonggie, jinah, and hyuna in the other." she rests her elbow on her leg, holding up her face with her fist as she watches the comments.

she chats back and forth, avoids the comments that are baiting her to talk about a comeback, but vanessa's quick to dodge and switch the subject. there's so much happening in the chat, she gets away with it pretty easily; even if there's a few comments calling her out on it. there's a smile in her voice as she talks, and at just past the half an hour mark she brings it to an end.

"sorry, i'm getting sleepy." she apologizes, rubbing the back of her neck. "i think it's time to wrap it up...ah, thank you!" she sees the start of them, the birthday wishes that begin to settle in in full. there were some earlier, scattered between messages as she talked, but now they come in. it's getting closer to midnight, after all-- and even if it's an hour or so away, she still grins happily to herself. "thank you~ we'll talk tomorrow~ it's my only birthday wish, okay? the only thing i want. thank you~ i love you."

so when she's set up, starting the video with her usual relaxed, somewhat tired demeanor, she's completely shocked when the door opens up-- only minutes after she's started. for a moment, she's a little stupefied, and she's sure it shows on her face, but sohee's appearance has her grinning wide and happy.

"look we have a guest~~" she sings, clapping her hands as she tugs over another chair for sohee. seeing the sweater that she had gifted the other has her grinning happily, and she can't help how happy she is at the other's appearance. "wah, i'm so happy. k.arma's kiyeon? here? with me? i'm so honored." she can't help but reach out for a hug, clutching the other girl to her as she happily settles back in front of the camera. she can see the comments going wild, but she looks over to see what sohee's brought.

"what? food? whoa." she's surprised, but utterly thankful for sohee's kindness and thoughts. she can feel her stomach grumble at the thought of food. "you're an angel, kiyeonnie~~ i didn't eat much earlier." she pouts cutely at the other.

they're munching and eating, and vanessa can't help but stare fondly at sohee as she sings a bit of song requests (she's belting out those disney high notes, and vanessa can't help but to stop eating to give her a wordless applause, shooting a thumbs up at the camera). "our kiyeon is no joke. have you streamed her show yourself cover? you better~ should we play it?" she teases, wiggling her brows at the camera and then at sohee cutely. it's fun with sohee, even if she blushes and squirms at sohee revealing the origins behind the sweater she had gifted. she lets out long groans as she speaks, hiding her face as she laughs. "it's cute though, isn't it?" she manages, reaching out to lightly tug at the carrot hoodie strings. "comment hearts if you think it does!”

at thirty minutes, vanessa hears noise at the door. glancing over curiously, she blinks as she's see someone outside through the window, and for a moment-- she's very, very confused. when the door opens-- she lets out a shocked noise, before breaking out into laughter.

"who is this, who are you?" she can't help but laugh. "sejeong? does that say sejeong? wah..." she knows it isn't sejeong-- trapped away at filming as she is, so she can't stop giggling at the imposter. it's silly, and from the voice alone she knows it's jinah. it's cute, sweet-- they miss the girl when she's away, and she's happy to know she isn't the only one missing sejeong's presence. she smiles fondly at jinah’s antics and attempts at sejeong-- she’s pretty good, vanessa will admit. it does make her miss the girl even more though, so she brings her phone close, peering at it briefly before looking back to the comments.

“should we call? let’s call sejeong,” she shoots a glance at jinah teasingly, wiggling her brows. a quick call to sejeong chooses to be futile, as it goes to voicemail and vanessa hums. “ah, maybe we do have sejeong here all along?” she muses, chuckling as she reaches out in an attempt to playfully ruffle jinah’s hair, like she’d do to sejeong normally. “our sejeonggie~”

vanessa thinks it’s fun with more than one person. there’s a lot of fun to be had with sohee and jinah-- and she’s grinning fondly at them when she sees something pop out from the corner of her eye near the door. she’s quick to look over, and she can only beam with a wide grin at doyeon’s face peeking out from the window. she watches the other wave for a moment, amused and grinning-- probably looking very distracted to the vlive viewers. she moves to point towards the door, turning to the camera with a happy laugh. “another visitor~”

when doyeon walks in, joking “someone told me there was a party happening, so i came!” causing vanessa to clap her hands happily and glance around, frazzled for a moment. she reaches out for another chair, tugging it close and patting it for doyeon to sit. “come, come~ thank you for joining. i’m a big fan,” she jokes to the girl, reaching out to lightly pat her arm once she’s seated. there’s a warmth in her chest, with the girls coming one by one to join her. she’s so happy, so so happy-- it has to be obvious on her face, her features. pulled up into a smile.

when jinah steps out, vanessa can’t help but pout-- but she’s soon enough distracted with the other girls and focusing on giving more of her attention to the comments. it’s a few song requests, chuckling at some of the things the viewers are saying-- a couple comments pop up that catch her eye, that sound so suspiciously familiar. leaning closer to the screen, she begins to smile, reading off a comment like ‘hello!! this is kil, do you see my comment?’. it makes her laugh. “wah, kil? really?” a few more comments pop up from the same user, and it only increases her amusement. ‘unnies look so pretty~’ and ‘please wait i’ll be there’ has her happiness soaring, and she claps her hands. “okay~ kil-ah we’ll wait for you~”

she doesn’t take too long. it’s reaching past the hour point when she pops in, and vanessa’s loud about it, holding her hands up in the air in a hooray! motion. hugs are given all around, and she can’t help but squeeze joy a bit tighter, just out of sheer happiness that she’s been gifted with so many sweet visits today. they return to reading the comments, and vanessa grows a bit quiet, smiling fondly at the girls; they do a few song requests, and vanessa has to stifle her laughter at the cheers that joy yells in response and her happy applause and barrage of comments. she bounces between chirping up every so often, monitoring comments and making cute faces at doyeon as she watches the girl press the heart button on the live.

jinah returns, bringing her own computer and commenting about themselves on the live that have all of them laughing and cheering. she brings snacks, and vanessa lets out her own happy shout at the sight of it. she takes more of a backseat here, happy to just listen and watch her groupmates have fun. jinah plays dj for this part, taking requests as they answer random fan questions and the like. hyuna pops in for a quick visit as well, and she knows that maybe they should wrap it up soon. it’s late, and while she doesn’t mind staying up far late into the night, she does worry for the other girls.

she’s gearing up to try and wrap it up-- and then the sound of her phone vibrating on the table jolts her. it’s loud, audible amidst the girls talking, and she’s quick to grab it and apologize, smiling sheepishly before she glances down at the screen, noting cutie sejeonggie~ as the caller, and she lets out a happy noise. “oh! sejeong is calling~ should we answer?” she asks cutely, chuckling. but it’s not really a question, as she’s already hitting the answer button and quickly pressing on speaker. “sejeong-ah~~ hello~ you’re live~” she’s quick to say, and the sound of the other girls greeting the other makes her feel warm inside. “how are you? are you working hard~”

they talk and chat a bit. sejeong speaks a bit of praise for vanessa’s lives that have her blushing and ducking her head, laughing happily. “but this is the best one yet, right?” she asks, wiggling her brows as she chances a glance at the other girls. “because it’s one with all of k.arma. that’s the best of them all, it has to be.”

they chat a bit longer, and soon enough sejeong’s break comes to an end and vanessa gears up for goodbyes. she’s clutching the phone in one hand, sohee perched on her lap and the other girls in a sort of leaning over each other, sharing seats and such to fit in the screen. they’re all mushed together, but vanessa’s never felt more at ease. “thank you for tuning in! it’s time to rest~ thank you for k.arma for joining me~ we had fun, right?”

seeing sohee's upload gives her the courage to upload her own, even if it takes a lot more fiddling and idea hunting in the days passing. it's towards the end of march when she decides, a few days after their appearance at fashion week when she gathers an idea.

she misses singing in english, so she chooses a cover from another artist. it's from a free game she's seen being advertised; she remembers seeing noel talk about it when it first launched. the sound is nice, has a much more rockstar feel to it-- reminiscent of music she's always wished she could sing.

when the song begins it's soft. vanessa keeps her eyes closed as it begins, finding her voice to begin to match the soft tone. "i, miss the peaceful days every night. i just wanted you, but everything went wrong."

her eyes fall shut as she moves into it, the mic stationary in front of her as she continues the line. when the instrumentals kick in-- she lets out a soft breath, eyes falling open as she looks up towards the camera. confident, cool. it's an image she's always wanted to portray-- because she is confident and vanessa thinks she's cool. so that's what she'll be.

her hands inevitably find the microphone, fingers wrapped daintily around it as she gets into the rhythm of the music. and she sings, sings like she's alone in the shower with her shampoo bottle. has her own little mini-show. she lets go.

"please god, tell me the way i should go in these blind days." she sings. "i can't be sure anymore, what's the right way?" she's been told in the past her voice is more fitting for music with instruments, that the notes she can hit can reach levels of popularity the same as they do with alternative bands she grew up listening to. and she feels it sounds the best, that it fits the mood of the music-- making it much easier to get a grasp of how it should sound.