working on the next chapter for "I Like Your Funny Words Science Man" want to share a snippet for those who like angst because I want more people to cry over it
“Shut up, shut up.” Bdubs shakes his head aggressively, feeling his head band firmly hold his dark brown curls place. “Stupid brain, stupid thinking, stupid humans, stupid hybrids, stupid....” He swallows as tears well up in his eyes. “Moth... stupid me...” He wants to curl up and hide in his nest, hide away from the sun that warmed him like a mockery of the hug he so desperately wanted. “This is stupid! I shouldn’t be crying over this, still!” Bdubs smacks at the horn of his car a couple times before he startles himself by it actually going off the third time. “Oh hush!” After a moment of silence, the sound of the engine purring as she drives Bdubs closer to work he sighs. “I’m sorry Mi Amore, I shouldn’t shout at you, you’ve been so good.” He sighs and watches where he’s driving as the silence drags on yet again. “It’s just that I don’t have time to be thinking about those kinds of things.” He explains to open air, to Mi Amore, to his own thoughts. “I’ve got lab work, and papers, and now Etho to look after. I’m far too busy to be worrying about anything but up-keeping what I’m already doing.” Mi Amore doesn’t respond, her air freshener bouncing from some gravel under her tires. “Maybe after Etho is better, maybe then I’ll have some spare time, but not right now.” He tries offering, a compromise only he cares about as Mi Amore just drives along the road. “Yeah, maybe after he gets better.” Ten minutes pass, nothing more happening than the gravel road becoming paved again before he reaches the lab. He ignores the emergency double doors at the front of the building and turns Mi Amore towards the secured car port off to the right, blindly grabbing his ID Cards as he pulls up to the scanner. A quick pass of plastic over dusty sensors and the garage doors part open to allow him inside. A few quiet moments later, and with a turn of his keys, Bdubs is suddenly alone without even the purr of Mi Amore's engine to keep him company. He takes a moment to breathe, a deep inhale that almost starts to hurt his ribs with the amount of air he takes in, then follows it with an exhale that leaves him deflated like a week old helium balloon. Bdubs only allows himself this one moment before he un-clips his seat belt and starts to gather his things, same as every other morning as of late, otherwise he would never be able to go about starting his day without tears. He scowls as he realizes he never made a lunch to bring with him today, and then immediately remembers that the coffee he had never finished at Papa’s house has been the only thing he has ‘eaten’ all morning. He groans as he grabs his keys and ID, climbing out of Mi Amore and shutting her door a little more heavily than he meant to, apologizing to her before he walks away to the employee door. “Alright, work mode now.” Bdubs says to himself, dusting off the hoodie and his jeans. “First, clock in.”
