#*f

She regards him, curiously. “He’s fine,” she says, drawing out the word like it’s a question, “pretty sure he fell asleep before he was even lying down, but he’s fine.”

“Does not surprise me.”

“You’re not sleeping, though,” Hen says. An accusation, almost, that says what the hell is happening here, except she’d need to ask Buck: it was Buck who sat down next to Eddie and, with only a you mind if I just—, turned to his side to lie down with his head pillowed on Eddie’s thigh and proceeded to tilt Eddie’s world on its axis; it was Buck who managed to pencil in one whole answer to a crossword clue before the little book of puzzles dropped, inelegantly, to his chest, his tired eyes drooping closed.

“No, I’m not,” Eddie tells Hen, spiking his tongue with a little extra snark. If only just to distract himself from everything else, from how he feels like he hasn’t moved a muscle in ten minutes, from how plainly it must be written on his face that he wants to shift, just a little, and watch as Buck sleeps with his head turned inwards, nose nearly brushing the fabric of Eddie’s shirt. His ear is digging into Eddie’s thigh.

Because— of course Eddie wants to. He wants to look, wants to comb through Buck’s damp hair with his fingers and feel the frisson of Buck purring like a cat against his leg, wants to lay his hand on Buck’s chest, feel the even rise and fall of his breathing, the solid muscle, the softness of his stomach, the shape of his ribs.

Maybe, if Hen weren’t boring a hole into his side, he would reach for some of it, let his hand hover over where Buck’s heart is beating. Press against his birthmark with this thumb, watch as Buck’s eyes open, bleary and bright, bright blue.

It must be obvious. He’s too tired to hide anything.

Buck shifts in a way that makes Eddie freeze and the crossword book threaten to slide to the side from where it lays abandoned on his chest, so Eddie reaches to catch it before it falls to the ground. It’s half filled-in already from past downtimes, because whenever it’s not his phone in Buck’s hands it’s this, right here in the loft, in the engine, while waiting for Bobby to finish cooking dinner. He has ink smudged on his hands, sometimes. On his lip, once.

Eddie had watched him chew on the back of the pen for a whole minute before bolting, that time.

He scans the clues, book held a little awkwardly against the armrest of the couch. There’s Worn by firefighters or legs that makes his mouth tick into a grin, HOSE in Buck’s neat scrawl; Cruise: ___ Business which should be RISKY but Buck has left empty, which makes Eddie smile so wide he has to bite the inside of his cheek.

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie sees that Hen is on her phone, but he still feels watched. Suddenly desperate to fill the silence just to dissolve that tense anticipation where he’s just waiting to be interrogated, he quickly scans the page for things left unanswered, and quietly prompts, “four words. ‘Wanting tree’.”

Hen hums, considering. “Pine.” Her gaze, pointed right at Eddie, is so piercing he almost feels it in his chest. 

“Okay.”

“You don’t want to write that down?” Hen asks.

A spike of— something, like a prickling at the back of his neck. Like he’s been caught. “Buck will want to finish it,” Eddie tells her, still looking at the incomplete crossword instead of at his friend. Though he doesn’t miss the way she closes her eyes and shakes her head, a little exasperatedly.

“So, we’re just not going to talk about…” Hen pauses and points, vaguely, in the direction of Eddie’s lap with her phone, “that.”

Eddie ignores her, and since he’s been caught out anyway, and because it’s Hen and he knows she won’t actually judge him for it, finally looks down instead, at the mess of dirty blond curls against the deep blue of his uniform pants; at Buck, his sleep-parted lips, the way his eyelashes rest against his cheeks, fluttering just slightly. Buck must be dreaming.

“No,” he says, voice so low he thinks Hen might not even catch it, not taking his eyes off Buck. He hears Hen sigh, mutter under her breath. She doesn’t say anything else to him, but it’s hanging in the air anyway. “There’s nothing to talk about,” Eddie goes on despite himself.

“You say that,” Hen tells him, “but, you know.”

He hesitates— thinks, for a moment, about telling her about that ache in his chest, something unsettling and familiar all at once spreading over the entirety of him, the way his fingertips feel like they’re on fire, electrified, magnetized and drawn to Buck. What he ends up saying is, “don’t know what you mean.” 

And instead of replying, Hen’s eyebrows draw together in a way that looks almost like pity, but, deep down, Eddie knows it isn’t.

The boy was too high to even look Y/n directly in the eye. The strong smell of weed hits her nose and she almost chokes on it. She just nods at him before turning away. She could die of embarrassment at this point. She wanted to be swallowed up by the couch. She's feeling a bit sorry for herself, but she can't help it. She should've said no to her friend's offer to come tonight. For some reason she thought she would be injected with some rare boldness and become a sociable person.

Her loneliness was not a shared feeling as everyone around her partied. The guy who had spilled something on her had gotten up and went back to his friends. Y/n doesn't even know who's house this is. It seems that no one really cares who owns the place because they're leaving their shit everywhere without any regards.

Billie doesn't like the wild parties her best friend throws for this exact reason. Every weekend this place turns into some lawless frat house. As much as she hates it, her best friend and other roommate are so fond of having these parties. It always ends with someone throwing up and the three of them having to clean it all up. From time to time she'll join the party, indulging in a few drinks and other things while the music is blasting. Most of the time she's just looking for someone to hook-up with. She started the semester single and has enjoyed it so far. It's not easy finding the perfect person to take upstairs. But she can't pull her eyes away from the girl on the couch. She looks so cute and unsuspecting, innocent even. Something about her entices Billie and causes her to move her feet as she walks over to the couch. She pushes through the crowd and finds the spot next to her on the couch is empty. No one really hangs out on the couch while people are around them. She hasn't been this curious in a long time.

Y/n feels the spot next to her dip. She was looking in the opposite direction of the person who sat next to her. Her social anxiety had her a little bit fearful to turn her head to look. She thought if she just sat there, still enough and quite enough, that the person wouldn't notice her.

"You're a new face," the person says boldly, surprising Y/n. Goosebumps form on her skin as she slowly turns her head to face the voice. The girl looks older than her and she looks at Y/n quizzically. "Are you a freshman?"

"I-I am...I came here with a friend."

"Who?"

"April."

"Well," the girl looks around, not seeing April in sight, "where is she?"

Y/n pauses when realizes she has no clue where the friend she came with is. She has to be here somewhere but she's not anywhere near them.  Billie already knows that answer to that question. She saw April making out with some guy by the steps just five minutes ago. She knows April, but she didn't know April had a friend she didn't know about, and that that friend is so cute. She's not surprised that this girl is a freshman, she looks and acts like one; absolutely terrified to be at their first college party. There is a look of panic on her face when Y/n realizes that she's completely alone now.

"Can't find her, huh?" The smirk on her face is a devilish one. She knows that she's got Y/n trapped now that her friend is missing in action.

"I guess not."

"Well, you can hang with me."

"Are you sure?" Y/n was taken back by the unsuspecting kindness of a stranger. No one else has offered her to hang out with them while at the party or even tried to strike up a conversation with her. She thought she was going to have to do that on her own, and she's not good at that whatsoever. But she doesn't  have much of a choice because Billie grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch and down the hallway to the second set of stairs.

This party has been going on for god knows how long, but there are people still partying. It seems that only a few people have left, she notices, but that didn't completely kill the crowd. She can't imagine what she would have done if she wasn't approached by a nice stranger. She would've been alone for longer and unsure of how she's going to get back to her dorm. Campus is so big and she isn't quite familiar with it yet, she doesn't want to walk to her dorm alone at 1 am. The thought of being stranded makes anger at April bubble up inside of her. She wanted to make an excuse for why her only friend on campus would do this to her, but she couldn't come up with any. It doesn't matter though because she has Billie who is being so kind to her.

"What's your name?" Billie asks as she turns back to look at her, still walking forward to a location unknown to Y/n.

"It's Y/n's...what's yours?" Y/n was surprised that her voice didn't waver when she asked her that question. She was so nervous but there was something about the warm hand holding onto hers that made her melt.

"Billie."

"Where are we going?"

"My room?"

Y/n's face began to heat up. She hasn't been alone with anyone in their room besides April and her friends from back home. Billie is a stranger, a kind one, but still a stranger. Despite how nervous she is, Y/n doesn't say anything though. Her feet keep moving and she lets Billie guide her without any protest.

"Here," Billie says as they make it to her door. She opens it and makes room for Y/n to walk in first. Y/n hesitates but ultimately takes a step inside. Her room is...definitely lived in, but it does have a homey feel to it. Y/n does relax a little bit once she sees a poster for one of her favorite movies on the wall. Billie is nice and seems like a cool person, and also not the type to party like the rest of the people downstairs.

"It's late, dark, and now," she moves the blind to peek outside, "it's raining. You can stay here tonight."

"Huh? I can't...April might be looking for me now, she might be worried. Thank you so much, but I can't-"

"April is probably getting dicked down right now. Your phone hasn't rang or vibrated since I've talked to you. I'm sorry to say it, but your friend is not concerned with you right now."

Billie's words are blunt, but it's the truth. April has not texted her once all night and she left Y/n wondering if their friendship meant anything. All of this was putting Y/n in a vulnerable spot to the point where she couldn't say no to Billie's offer. Her bed looks very comfortable, much larger than the beds in the freshmen dorms too. The room was inviting, it was hard for Y/n to admit that, but it wasn't so bad.

"Okay...if it's not a problem for you. But I can always leave if you want me to."

"If I changed my mind, what would you do? Sleep outside?" Billie teases. Her back faces the door to her bedroom as she closes it. Her nails clink against the silver knob. "Trust me, I've had plenty of women in my bedroom before. One more isn't going to be a bother," she purrs, easing the door open. She slides her palm across the wall to find the light switch to the main light, promptly flicking it on. She gestures for the bed, for Y/n to sit down and take a seat. She can see that she's still so tense despite the generosity. "It's much quieter here," she continues, "we can sit and talk and you can learn that I'm not that scary."

Billie takes a seat at the rolly chair at her desk. She gives Y/n some space so she doesn't scare her off. It would be stupid to try to walk back to her dorm that's all the way across campus while it's dark and raining, but Billie has seen people do stupider stuff in college.

Y/n struggled to see how she could simply just talk to Billie. She was so nervous and it was hard for her to get a reading on her. She's incredibly shy in social situations but she is usually able to quickly learn what kind of person she's dealing with. Billie is quiet but not in the way that she's terrified to talk to people; she's quiet more so in a way that a snake slithers through grass or a spider climbs up the wall. Y/n feels awful for making all kinds of assumptions about someone who is being so nicer to her. She's being nicer than the friend who abandoned her at this party just to get some dick from a guy who she probably doesn't even really like. Even though she recognizes it as a betrayal, something is telling her she should grab her phone and try to reach April, but she doesn't do that. Instead she sits on the bed with Billie sitting across from her and looking her right in the eyes. She takes in the silence that she desperately missed when the party was at it's height. Y/n wondered if people would ever leave or if they would continue to party for hours until they were tired.

"W-What do you want to talk about?" Y/n tried to keep her voice consistent so it wouldn't crack. She didn't want to sound like a nervous little girl around Billie, but she was definitely out of her element. Especially since she is alone with an older girl in her room.

"The sort of things that people only talk about at parties. Shit you don't tell anyone, secrets, your sex life." She leans forward and rests her elbows on her thighs, her fingertips reach out to brush against the fabric of Y/n's skirt. She wants to get closer to her so bad, but she knows how to be strategic. "Unless that's too uncomfortable for you," she teases, playfully nudging Y/n's leg with just her finger. She knows that it isn't right to toy with the freshman; Y/n's night has already been plenty stressful. Yet, Billie can't find it within herself to quit.

The bout of silence and the way Y/n swiftly turns her head away from Billie paints an obvious picture that this girl is not as experienced as the girl she's in the room with. Y/n feels like she has no secrets, or a sex life, so when Billie mentions that kind of stuff, her entire body heats up. It becomes harder to look the older girl in the eye. Her mouth becomes dry as she's unable to answer.

"Wait—you're not a virgin, are you? There's no way." She feigns disbelief, stifling a theatrical gasp with the palm of her hand. Honestly, she'd be more surprised if Y/n wasn't a virgin with how precious she was. Still, she wasn't going to let any opportunity to tease her slip by.

She's never been kissed so she's definitely not having sex with anyone. She's a freshman in college, but for some reason she just felt too young to be having sex. She wondered if it would even be fun. April has had sex before and sometimes says it's amazing, but other times she says it's not worth the hype. Y/n didn't know what to think so she opted to just not having sex until she was in a committed relationship. But, she's also so awkward around boys and she isn't sure if she likes girls or not, so she's never dated before either.

"I've never had sex before," she says sheepishly, still looking away from Billie's eyes even though she can still feel that gaze on her.

Billie lets out a huff of amusement as she stands up. She takes the empty spot right next to Y/n and the girl nearly jumps in the air. She shifts to sit further back on the bed, criss-crossing her legs as she gets comfortable and close to Y/n .

"Yeah? Haven't even messed around or anything?" She'd never admit it, but something about the way that Y/n becomes so easily flustered really gives an unneeded boost to her ego. Sure, she's already tipsy, but the little power imbalance that's between them makes her feel absolutely intoxicated.

"You're missing out; sex is a serious necessity at out age. At least, that's what all of the girl's that I've fucked have told me," she snickers. It's obvious that she's a lot more acquainted with the topic than her new friend Y/n, yet she doesn't plan on dropping it. It's almost like she's playing a game in which she's testing her limits. "Do you at least—you know? Touch yourself...?"

"I-I have a few times," she admits with a bit of shame. Those were private moments she wanted to keep to herself, but for some reason Billie's demeanor demanded an answer from her. She had touched herself to dirty thoughts about kissing a celebrity crush, and even being touched by one of them, but she's only done that a handful of times. It just feels so naughty to do something like that.

Billie hums with contentment at her response, the entire situation making her feel giddy. Y/n couldn't possibly make this any easier, playing right into her little game without so much as a question.

"It felt good, right? Imagine that amazing feeling, building up in your stomach, but way more intense. Your body feels all warm and fuzzy inside. Being played with until your legs are shaking and you can't form a coherent sentence. That's what sex is like." She says it as ordinarily as she would any other thing; like it's no different from talking about the weather or what she plans on eating for dinner.

She leans forwards and playfully ruffles Y/n's frilly top. It's soft and silky between her fingertips, and she lets them linger for a moment before they trail down to her lower back. "Oh, but an innocent little thing like you wouldn't have any need for that sort of info, right? Big shame, really. I'd love to teach you a thing or two."

Y/n's felt on fire with a feeling she has never experienced before. Was she turned on? Was she horny like many of the people partying downstairs? Like the boy April ran off with? With every descriptive word Billie used to talk about sex she felt her body reacting in ways she wasn't use to. She clenched her thighs together when the older girl said 'filled up.' It doesn't sound so bad yet a large part of her was scared about sex. Maybe it's insecurity, or maybe it's just anxiety about the whole thing, but it's still a big deal to her while Billie is just so nonchalant talking about it.

"Shouldn't you only have sex with someone you love or you're dating?"

She always wondered why her friend would hook-up with boys she had no intention of dating. She couldn't grasp that concept at all, but she was too shy to ask April herself. Billie felt like the perfect person to ask although it was tough for her to do.

"Who told you that?" Billie seems taken aback by the question, like she's never heard that opinion before. "There's nothing wrong with casual sex. You just find the right person, agree on what's going to go down and what's not going to happen and you're good to go. April hasn't told you about her adventures in hooking-up?" Her gaze trails down to Y/n's thighs, heart racing fast. She has Y/n right where she wants her. "You know, girls do that sort of thing with one another like it's nothing. Even if it's just as friends," she explains matter-of-factly, pupils blown with adoration just looking at Y/n's body seemingly warming up to her. "I could show you, but I doubt that you trust me enough. You probably think that I'm too intimidating or something." She feigns dejection, averting her gaze with a furrowed brow.

"I trust you!" Y/n says a bit hastily. The last thing she wants is Billie to dislike her, especially after she's taken her in for the night. She is the only person to keep her company tonight, more so than her own friend. Billie has a strong personality but she is a nice person. Y/n hadn't realized what she basically just agreed to until she got the words out. Billie is a trustworthy person, she tells herself. However all of this would be a big step, and Y/n is just not sure about it. She thought her first time she would have more time to think about actually doing it. At least Billie has a comfortable bed and her own room. Y/n didn't want to be intimate with someone for the first time on the awful pull out beds of the dorms. But she still clenches her thighs together when thinking about doing something...naughty. She doesn't want to come off as childish and naïve though. She's in college now, the time to have fun and explore yourself and others in more ways than one. She's better off having Billie "help" her instead of some boy who would just play with her heart and then discard her. Billie is being upfront and honest with her, there are no games.

As if a switch in her brain has been flipped, Billie instantly seems to lighten up. "Really? You won't regret it, baby. Promise." Y/n's heart flips at Billie calling her "baby" for some reason. It feels like something someone only does if they're romantically interested in someone, but it's too soon for either of them to even make a determination like that.

In a split second, she's on her knees right behind Y/n, hands resting against her waist. She's practically buzzing with anticipation, eyeing the girl with so much hunger in her eyes. "Stay right there, okay? Gonna make you feel so good."

Her hands promptly slide beneath Y/n's shirt, running along the soft skin of her stomach and heading straight for her chest. She's everything but what some like Y/n should be dealing with—hasty, demanding, rough. Her front is pressed flush to Y/n's back and she pushes her hair out of the way for access to press her lips to the nape of Y/n's neck. She picks up the scent of her sweet shampoo while her fingers impatiently squirm beneath her bra, groping at Y/n's breasts. "You're so warm," Billie fawns, squeezing her tits a little bit harder in the process. "Spread your legs a little for me."

Billie's touch felt like it was burning Y/n's skin. This felt dirty, yet there was something in her brain telling her to obey. The damp feeling between her thighs was completely new; she's wet from how Billie treats her. Y/n obeys the older girl's authority and spreads her legs for her. She'd do anything to keep Billie squeezing her tits through the top of her dress. She squeals almost embarrassingly at the feeling. Her nipples begin to pebble and it almost hurts the way they graze her bra. Y/n can't believe how much joy she finds in being touched like this. It feels surprisingly good once she cuts through all the anxiousness in her body. But, she doesn't know how to say 'it feels good' without feeling like she's going to embarrass herself.

"Good girl," she coos, resting her chin against Y/n's shoulder. One hand remains where it is, thumb and forefinger pinching a stiffening nipple. The other, however, inches downwards at a teasingly slow pace. It's almost like she's making an effort to memorize the shape of Y/n's body. Her hand settles just beneath the hem of her dress, running along the soft skin of her inner thigh until it cups her clothed pussy. She can feel the dampness of the fabric against her fingers, and even she's a little shocked by how wet Y/n already is.

"You're so wet and I've barely even touched you. So filthy." Two nimble fingers find Y/n's clit with ease, rubbing tight little circles over the thin material of her panties. "Tell me how grateful you are, Y/n. I'm taking the time out of my night to make you feel good, you know."

"T-Thank you," Y/n whispers, embarrassment filling her body. Her skin feels so cold despite the warmth coming from Billie's body. She is grateful that she isn't facing her or else she doesn't think she would be able to withstand the pressure. Billie isn't able to see the look of pleasure that's trying to break through on her pretty face. She's warring with herself, trying to focus more on the pleasure than the resistance that naturally appears in her body. It feels so good and Billie is the one making her feel good.

Billie nearly laughs at her. It's almost unbelievable how obedient Y/n is for her, compliant and sensitive and unwary enough to believe that the upperclassman is really just trying to help. She wonders how easy it'd be to get the girl hooked on the feeling; wonders if Y/n would come crawling back to her even after she's been 'taught'.

"For what?" She presses on, finding some sort of twisted amusement in making Y/n squirm from embarrassing herself, "What exactly am I helping you with?" She's never touched a woman with an innocence quite like Y/n. She can't wait to take it all away.

"F-For touching me." She didn't think she could get this wet, and her nipples are painfully hard.

Her fingers finally slid past the elastic of the panties, dipping between her folds and collecting her slick. She slowly pushes her a single finger past her folds and into her sopping hole. Y/n's walls instantly clench around her finger once it notices the intrusion. "Fuck, so tight. Surprised you're not a little whore with a body as eager as this." Her finger slowly pumps into Y/n's cunt, the heel of her palm grinding against the girl's clit.

Y/n felt like she was choking on a sweet delicious candy. Her body tenses up every time Billie touches and teases her. She's a little embarrassed by the whimpers she lets out when Billie's finger sinks deeper inside of her. "Hnnn," she whines. She's never been penetrated at all. It's a weird feeling — a slightly uncomfortable one too. It doesn't hurt, but it also doesn't feel as good as when Billie was rubbing her clit. Still, she relaxes against the older girl in an attempt to make this feel better. She has nowhere to go so she minus well enjoy this. This could be much worse so she's grateful that all Billie does is taunt her with her words while still making her feel good at the same time.

Y/n's legs involuntarily spread wider as Billie picks up the pace in pumping her finger in and out of Y/n's pussy. Billie smirks at the movement.

"See? You like this. It feels so good, doesn't it, pretty?"

It feels better for Y/n, but it isn't quite as amazing as people gush about. Still, she nods her head in fear that Billie will stop if she says no. She wants to keep going despite being so nervous.

Billie uses her other hand to rub small circles into Y/n's clit. If she wasn't trapped in her embrace then Y/n's body would be reacting more. The hand on her clit makes her want to jump. It feels so good and makes having a finger inside of her much better. It's a burning feeling inside of her that she can't explain because she's never felt it before.

"Your pussy is so tight, but I think you can take another finger," Billie says as her second digit begins to push it's way inside along with the finger already in there. Y/n tenses up but Billie kisses her neck to get her to relax, "it's okay, princess."

Y/n's cheeks feel so hot and she can't close her mouth. Not a sound comes out as the moans get caught inside of her throat. It feels so good, but weird, but so good. Billie is encouraging her to enjoy the pleasure by kissing her neck. Y/n's body is giving into the pleasure, so why should she let her brain tell her to hold back. She sinks deeper into Billie's embrace and the upperclassman is able to quickly pick up on what that means.

"Atta girl...just relax for me and enjoy it."

Billie pumps her fingers faster in and out of Y/n, enjoying how warm and wet her walls are and how they perfectly wrap around her fingers. It's like Y/n was made for her. Such a shame that Billie has only met her just now; the second semester of the year. Y/n was probably even more of a shy mess during her first semester, Billie wishes she was able to witness it.

The swirling fingers on her clit feel so good, unbelievably good. Y/n lets a few light moans escape past her lips and Billie thinks they sound so cute.

"Are you going to cum, princess? That pussy of yours is getting awfully tight."

Y/n lets out something somewhere between a sigh and a moan. Her entire body tenses up as she begins to feel the most overwhelming, unfamiliar feeling in her life. She no longer has the power to stop herself from moaning as she focuses on the pleasure she feels. Billie is really working her over, focusing on keeping Y/n the moaning mess that she is. Her slick covers Billie's hand and fingers. Billie bet she tastes so sweet.

"C'mon little princess. Let your body feel good...cum for me."

Y/n lets out a sharp gasp before she's experiencing her first orgasm. Goosebumps rise on her skin as her whole body goes cold. She can't control how her body reacts or how loud she moans. The wave of pleasure hits her so hard and turns her brain to mush.

"There you go," Billie laughs at her reaction feeling all of that cum seeping onto her hands. Y/n is like the softest putty in her hands, now more so than before. She kisses Y/n's neck before withdrawing her fingers. Y/n feels so empty and she whimpers at the feeling. "Good girl," Billie coos.

Y/n was beginning to feel sleep after all of that. Billie can feel her becoming heavy in her grasp and lays her down. She looks so precious like this, half-dazed and half-sleep. She licks her middle finger to get a taste of Y/n's cum; just as sweet as she suspected.